I Think This Borders On The Dumbest Thing Ever - Part 1,000,000

Please do me the favor of checking this out.

A Wonderful eBay Auction

With that, lets go over the list:

Puposefully butchered card - check
Misspellings galore - check
The phrase "true collector" - check
Making it painfully obvious that this auction is a statement - check
A resulting Joe Collector moment - check

Just for the people keeping score at home, if you want to be cute and make fun of fake patches, fine, go ahead. Yet, when you decide that you are going to be sneaky, at least do it well. This "joke auction" is a borderline special olympics joke its so bad. In fact, here is what I expect was going through this Joe Collector's mind as he was creating this abortion:

Dude, this is so freaking SICK! Those bastards are going to hate me so much for putting together this awesome auction. Maybe they should have thought of that before selling me that fake Brett Favre logo patch that was displayed above my bed until someone on Beckett told me I was an idiot for buying it. God! I am so mother effing brilliant that I dont even know it!

....Now, back to looking at porn. Ooo, Jenna Jameson!! HOTTEST WOMAN EVER!!

I think I need a Joe Collector label graphic to post for when people act a fool. I will be eternally grateful if someone with photoshop skills could make one.

First Look: 2008 Leaf Certified Materials

I am pumped as all hell for this product, just rockin out. LCM was great last year and I can see that things will be nice this year too. The card design looks pretty awesome and the freshman fabrics look like they could be ridiculously cool cards.

The one problem I see is that it is a possibility that the 1/1 mirror black cards may not be auto'ed like in previous years. That would suck, because without the auto, its just an "event used" piece of shit. Either way, these cards should be pretty cool as some of the first with the RCs in their NFL jerseys, and the first material cards for the year.

Overall, color me excited.

For Your Approval...

Just wanted to give a link over to Sports Lizard's Rant again, if not only so you guys go check out what Adam McFarland has to say. He is a very eloquent writer, and doesnt hesitate to let loose on the people that need to be let loose on.

He just posted an article about Bloggers changing the face of the industry, and I agree with him 100%. Hopefully his oracle is right and we do have the power to change some of the problematic things that happen daily in this industry.

Also, make sure you check out the links I have posted on the side of the page, at least to see what other people, besides myself, have to say. I love that Mario at Wax Heaven has created the sports card blog directory, as it has given collectors an enormous list of people to get their information from who do not have "Beckett" in their job title.

The Brand That Ruth Built

In some huge news, Topps has announced that Babe Ruth cards and relics will now only be available in topps products. Just so you understand the gravity of this situation, lets take a look at the list of HOFers who are Topps exclusives.

RUTH
GHERIG
WILLIAMS
MANTLE
ROBINSON
CY YOUNG
DIMAGGIO
AMONG OTHERS.....

With Hank Aaron still with DLP for the immediate future, I dont think there are any old timey guys left for UD. Now, I have written a post about how horrible exclusive contracts are, but I have also said how there couldnt possibly be more relics of these guys. Either way, Topps has made a huge signing, and basically given a big "FUCK YOU" to Upper Deck. I guess its payback for decimating the Basketball checklist and making Topps BKB basically irrelevant.

Personally I dont care too much, as Babe Ruth and Lou Gherig relics should not be cut up for baseball cards, yet I feel that UD Premier and Legendary Cuts just became a Derek Jeter and Ken Griffey Jr highlight reel.

Buying Habits Of The Stupid and Uninformed

Ryan Grant can suck my left testicle. You know why? He is littering my
products and he doesn’t deserve to be printed on the cardboard he is. People are paying upwards of 200 dollars for his Sweet Spot RC and his Playoff RC, which is fucking ludicrious, and his Topps Progression auto redemption is going for more than most of the other vets in the set. People, seriously, what the fuck?

It seems like every single guy who comes in and rushes for 100 yards is all of a sudden worth a shitload in this hobby. Ahmad Bradshaw, Kolby Smith, Selvin Young and Ryan Grant are all prime examples of this, which makes me want to slap people considering that they arent even starters. This happened with Ahman Green a couple of years ago, and the guy put up one good season before becoming a nobody. People just don’t learn, and I laugh at them. The bad part with this phenomenon is that people like Ryan Grant get more face time in products because people buy like pigs when he hits it big the first time. Now when I pull his stupid ass out of boxes, I have to wonder why I just threw 150 bucks down the drain for a box hit based on the buying habits of idiot fucking jackasses. I want people that actually make a difference, and this guy wont amount to anything other than a few good games.

Any response from the Joe Collectors?

"Baaaahhh."

Ahh, right, that’s what I thought you fucking sheep.

A Day In The Life Of Joe Collector

I'm beginning to think that the people of the hobby annoy me more than the manufacturers and Beckett ever could. As I have referred to them before, most of the people are sheep and will basically go where the shepherd takes them. Unfortunately for most, Beckett and UD are the shepherds - you know how I feel about that.

For those "Joe Collectors" that fall into the flock, I have the utmost contempt for their kind. I would explain it in words, but it really defies the use of common language. For me, spending an hour watching blind children fall into a vat of acid would be more inviting than spending one fucking mind numbing minute browsing some of the posts on the Beckett Message Board - or as I call it - the fallout zone from the biggest Idiot-Bomb ever dropped.

For the following, I want to go over a typical day that makes a Joe Collector so unappealing to me that I would take this kind of position against him. Ill warn you, small children should not be exposed to the following part of the post. Women who are pregnant or nursing should consult a doctor if they experience dizziness or dry mouth.

Joe Collector (pictured above) starts his day off by going to the hobby shop down the road. He loves this part of the day because he gets to go talk to the owner who gives him Yankee singles at low book. WHAT A DEAL! Today is special because his favorite product, Topps Triple Threads has just come in. He rips through both packs yelling, "CMON MOJO, CMON MOJO, CMON MOJO!" at full volume, much to the chagrin of many of the other customers in the store. Normally, he would shout out "LAST PACK MOJO!!!!" when he got to the last pack in the box, but with only two packs in the box today, its not as dramatic.

After ripping through his box and putting all his cards from the break in magnetic snap cases - even that Billy Wagner parallel card numbered 18/699 - Joe goes to the counter and pulls out a Beckett to price his haul. To him, the Wagner is worth more than its book value of $5.00 because it is numbered to his college jersey number (a 1/1 for sure!). He takes out his iPhone and updates his collection with the book values from Beckett and saves a new message board signature that explains exactly how much his collection is worth according to the new book. Some of his collection isn't priced due to scarcity, so he makes sure people know EXACTLY what portion that is.

Later, while re-upping his subscription to the Beckett online price guide, he gets a trade offer from a rare informed collector that says that he has that one card he was looking for. Joe realizes that what he will be trading to get the card is worth much more in the book than the card he is getting in return. Of course, as a Joe Collector, this fact means much more than actually having the card he was waiting for, so he makes sure that the trade is even despite having identical eBay prices to begin with. The person he is trading with mentions how stupid that is, mainly because eBay is a much better way to price a card. Joe Collector reassures the informed collector that eBay is a fickle monster, that the prices change daily, and that Beckett is a much more reliable source. The person declines his new offer because it has become so lopsided due to the need for the book values to be even. Despite losing out on his "MOJO CARD," he takes solace in the fact that his collection is still worth more according to the price guide.

After scrounging yet another trade offer, Joe decides to post his box break results from earlier on the forums for all to see. Even though it is already opened, he does it as if its live, listing every card individually and using smiley faces when he pulls a hit. Over the course of his thread, he uses a total of 178 exclamation points, and lists BV next to each card he pulls. Whenever he pulls a Yankee, his favorite team, he makes sure people know its NFT!!!!!!

This time, he was lucky enough to pull a Chin Ming Wang jersey card with a BV of $85, something that he knew would make people drool. Joe drafts his message board thread title and makes sure people know that he got a great pull! It reads, "BASEBALL BOX LIVE BREAK!!!! YANKEE-JO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME AND SEE!" He thinks to himself that this is genius because maybe someone will see the thread, look at his "SICK MOJO PULLS", and trade him that Derek Jeter auto he always wanted. He thinks that maybe he should have listed the year and brand of cards he broke, but that wasn’t as important as using 28 exclamation points. I mean, how often was he going to pull MOJO like that?

While he is reveling in the glory of people looking at his "SICK PULLS" and posting as such, he remembers he forgot to get the mail! He goes to the mailbox and pulls out a huge package that he knows contains his eBay purchase of 1000 different jersey cards from all sports. He opens the package and tapes it for YouTube so that everyone can see exactly what he got. Making mailday YouTube videos are his favorite.

After dinner, he decides that he needs a new Soulja Boy CD because the one he has is worn out from all the plays he gives it while making his YouTube videos. He jumps in his Dodge Neon and drives to Target. He gets the last copy of the CD and stops by the card isle to pick up a bunch of retail packs. As he approaches the isle, he sees a man searching through the packs, and this makes him incredible hulk angry. He goes to the security manager and lets the rent-a-cop know what is going on. The security guy escorts the man out, and Joe jumps on the chance to buy all the packs the man searched. When he gets home he opens all the packs and finds the plethora of "RETAIL MOJO" that he was so lucky to come upon. He makes a thread on the message boards telling people how he yelled at the man and threw him out of the store himself.

Please feel free to add your own chapter to this story, and remember, I-Bomb radiation is poisonous to informed people.

Poll Results Discussion II

Well, the poll has closed, and I think its results pose some interesting questions. One being why in the world people would want to bust 5 boxes of a mid end product rather than having the sure thing in the cut, logo, or RC patch auto.

I selected RC patch auto of the top rookie for the year because I think those usually are worth more than anything. I like the logo patch option, but this is the best bet for coolness. I know what I would be getting and I know that it isnt going to be crap as the 3 colors are tough to come by.

Im surprised more people didn’t choose the logo patch option as those cards are never going to lose value. Even the crappiest of logo patches still get 50 bucks, and to have a good one would be a centerpiece to any collection. The lack of an auto and the non-specific nature of the choice was damaging, but still suprising. This was my second choice.

The other option was the HOF cut sig, and I can understand why this was as popular as it was. Cut sigs are cool to pull and will never lose value in the long run. The guy has already reached the top honor, so its not like there is going to be some kind of drop off unless there is some kind of scandal.

Lastly was the most popular choice at over half the votes. I don’t get it. People disregarded the bird in hand for two in the bush and did so at a 2 to 1 clip. Wow. You could bust the 5 boxes and get squat and then you are stuck with the realization that you could have had one of the other three. On the other hand, you could get a nice pull, but odds are against that.

We also have a winner for the contest (he was dead on), and if geomon could drop me an email with his address, the card will be on its way.

White Out the Wide Out

When you look at the position players on the offensive side of the ball, there are three players that will ultimately have all the glory for the team. First is the QB, as he is the leader and captain of the offense, understandably the most valuable card wise as well. Each year, with few exceptions, the QBs lead the value of most of the cards that come onto the market. The hobby's A-list has more QBs than any other position. RB's are also up there in terms of value, I would expect because they play a tough position with a lot of visibility, and their cards usually reflect that for value. Yet, when you come to the wide receiver, there are very few guys that carry value, despite being some of the most vocal and most talented players on the field.

Aside from Jerry Rice, there are not many WRs that you could name when going through the top autos to get in a box. People like Terrell Owens, Marvin Harrison, and Randy Moss will probably end up in the HOF when all is said and done, but they are never the focus of any set, their cards are relatively cheap, and yet they are some of the best ever at their respective position. To tell you the truth, I am quite baffled as to why this is. You could say that people like TO are pretty scarce in value because of the public image he carries, and for the most part I would agree. Football is a sport run by and played by primadonnas, and TO is the biggest offender of the bunch. He is also a stupid crybaby asshole to boot, which probably doesn’t help things.

This doesn’t go for people like Harrison and Cris Carter, who are both guys that are suprisingly humble and quiet. You never hear from them about how bad the team is doing or how great they will play in the next game, but you also never hear about their cards going for big money either. Carter had over 1000 receptions and 100 TDs, but his autos usually don’t break 20 bucks. That is crazy considering what the prices are for people like Eric Dickerson and Earl Campbell.

Something else I find funny is that good RBs come a dime a dozen, yet good WRs come once in a great while. It seems that for a good RB, keeping healthy is a greater accomplishment than putting up good numbers, where as WRs must fend off injuries as well as put up legendary numbers to maintain a hobby importance. This double standard is kind of disheartening, especially when you see the price for someone like Ryan Grant, Selvin Young or Ahmad Bradshaw, especially considering that they will more likely go nowhere than into mediocrity even.

Im not saying that it’s a hobby consipiracy to keep the WR down, but I think its kind of interesting to look at the value of someone like Fred Bilitnikoff and Paul Hornung vs guys like Gale Sayers, Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen.

Happy Father's Day Everyone

Last year was my first Father's Day as a father, and boy was I excited. Of course, I can't remember at all what we did, but I did keep the Father's day greeting cards. Today we're brunching at my parents.

Baseball has always been a sport that's passed down from Father to Son, and because of that it's special. My dad fostered my love of Angels baseball at a very young age for me, as I have pictures of me as a toddler at the Big A! Of course now I have pics of my daughter in the same place! Fathers and Sons are also integral to the game on a professional level, the list of Father and Son ball players is nice and long, and here it is!

So today, remember your own dad and give him a hearty "Happy Father's Day" if you can. I'm sure the Boones, Griffeys, Berras, Fielders and Matthews families are having a great day.