Ebay Pisses Me Off Sometimes

Ebay can be the best place in the world, but it can also be a scam ridden cesspool, teeming with horrible and stupid people. When I got my virtual MEBAS (Masters of Ebay Buying and Selling) after spending years of working within the system, I have a list of grievences that I need to air per my pre-Festivus party planning list.

First, if you buy an item, you better be ready to pay for it then, not seven to ten days later. I know that eBay policies lay out their feelings on it, but paypal has changed the game. Fifteen years ago, it was done all through the mail, so I can understand any issues they needed to institute policies for. However, now, with most sellers ONLY taking paypal or similar services, there needs to be a common courtesy statute. I don’t want to hear about any money problems a buyer has, because that’s a 'your problem' not a 'my problem.' Pay as soon as you possibly can click the mouse over to paypal because I hate waiting when they knew the bill was coming. If you didn’t have the money you shouldn’t have bought, plain and simple.

Second, I hate people that don’t check their emails. This kind of relates to the above, because I have gotten the "I didn’t pay because I didn’t know" excuse way too many times. This also relates to item questions and BIN offers, especially when your iPhone gives you instant email updates. If I send a question, I expect a response ASAP, at least within that first 24 hours. That gives ample time for you to find out the answer and send it my way. Waiting until two minutes before the auction ends is complete poop. With BIN offers, I understand that you want to gauge interest in offers, but don’t let me sit there waiting. In fact, I avoid BIN/BO items with multiple expired offers.

That brings me to the next thing, BIN offers themselves. Ebay gives sellers the opportunity to counter offer, so they need to fucking use it. If I give you a reasonable offer, I think it is well within your role as a seller to counter if you do not think it is enough. If I am lowballing (which I have given up on), then I understand. But don’t reject my market value offer because you are a douche with no understanding of the BIN system. Don’t put your item up if you arent going to sell.

Speaking of selling but not selling, I have said before that using ebay as your personal photobucket is stupid and a complete waste of my fucking time. If you arent going to sell your item, go post a mailday message on a board or something. I don’t need to waste my time sending offers your way if you arent going to sell. Yes, yes, I know that there are success stories of people putting ridiculous BINs and getting a sale from a crazy person, but that is the exception to the rule. Stop with the show offs and get back to your regularly scheduled auctions.

Also, please do not send me a list of demands with your lowball BIN offer. I am not going to ship to Taiwan when it EXPLICITLY says otherwise in my auctions, and I am not going to waive shipping because you are begging me to help you. Ill deny you every single time just for being a thorn in my side.

Lastly, I hate shitty photos. If you have a card for sale, give me a good pic or I am going to bid lower. It is your responsibility to provide an accurate description of the item, not just a blurry cell phone shot. Spend the extra two minutes to get out your scanner or digital camera, and I will reward you as a buyer. God that pisses me off when I see something I want with a shitty ass photo.

Now, who has a good festivus pole that I can put a best offer on?

First Favre Certified Vikings Auto Hits Ebay

The first of the Favre autos is up right now, and the seller wants a shitload. So, Panini gets the first shot in, but there are only a few other than this, and its a sticker. It doesnt look awful, minus the top of his head, but they sure created a huge hullabaloo over a sticker auto on a few cards.

http://cgi.ebay.com/09-Donruss-Certified-BRETT-FAVRE-Emerald-Green-Auto-3-4_W0QQitemZ360198447816QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS_Football?hash=item53dd8022c8#ht_500wt_735

Im Beginning To Wonder If Ebay Even Thinks Before They Change Policies

I just got an email from a few people, detailing eBay's new policy over photos. Starting shortly, all user photos uploaded to eBay's systems will be available for use for anyone who chooses to use them. That means, when you post your card, your clothes, your anything, someone else can use your pictures when they sell theirs.

I have one thing to ask.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY THINKING?

As if eBay wasnt a breeding ground for counterfeit cards and other valuable items, it has now opened the floodgates. Now, instead of providing your own photo, or unethically ripping someone else's picture, you now have an eBay sanctioned way of scamming people. Im guessing the pictures will act much like the video game, DVD, and book libraries, where stock pictures are listed as such, but for people who arent smart enough to tell the difference, its a license to cheat. Considering these people are already the ones that buy the cards we laugh at, its going to get bad.

Im praying this isnt abused, but we all know what is going to happen.

Fuck.

Text from FCB:

Warning: eBay will be using photos without creators' permission.

Starting on August 31st, eBay is going to institute a new policy where photos you upload to any listing are put into a "catalog" of online images that any eBay user can then use for their own listings. The default setting for this is opt-in, which is a problem if you, like me, consider your photographs your property and want to control how they are used and by whom. A copyright notice is posted with a link to your user profile, but no additional information is given, and the link is quite small.

Since the default setting is opt-in, and eBay has not sent messages out about this, a lot of people are going to be caught flat-footed by this new policy.

Again, the default for this setting is YES, you have opted in. Meaning "Yes, I will allow eBay to make my photos available for anyone to use."

If you do not want eBay to make the photos you upload to all of your future auctions available to other users in a sort of catalog process, you need to go change your settings now, before August 31st. If you opt out after then, any photos you upload between the 31st and when you opt out will still be eligible for inclusion in their "catalog."

In order to opt out of this so-not-okay process, do the following. I've broken it down exhaustively. Hopefully your eBay pages look like mine.

1) Go to your eBay summary page ("My eBay").

2) On the left-hand side, there are three tabs that say "Activity," "Messages," and "Account." Hover over the "Account" tab.

3) A drop-down list will appear. Move your mouse down to "Site Preferences" and click.

4) You will be taken to a page with a list of site options for selling, shipping, and listing. About the sixth from the top is "Share your Photos." Click on the word "show" on the right hand side next to this option.

5) The box will expand, and if you are opted in, "yes" will appear. If you are opted out, "no" will appear. A small "edit" link will appear below the "show" link. If you want to change the settings, click "edit."

6) You will be taken to a new page with the following text: If you'd like to opt-out of this program, please do so by checking this box and clicking the "submit" button below.
(If you opt-out before August 31, 2009, none of your photos will be considered for inclusion in this program unless you opt back in at a later time. If you opt-out after August 31, 2009, any photos we select for inclusion in this program prior to your opt-out may continue to be used in the catalog)

7) If you want to opt out of the program, check the ticky box on the left-hand side next to the text, then go down and click the "submit" button.

8) You will go back to the settings screen you were just on, and there will be a green checkmark and a confirmation message. Go down to the "Share your Photos" option again and click "show." Your setting should now appear as "no."

I am sure that this will be a useful feature for some people, for some items, but the automatic opt-in is not okay with me at all, as I don't want my photographs used to illustrate someone else's auction for a different item, not for any reason whatsoever.

I thought you should all be warned. Please spread the word. This is a slimy, underhanded thing to do, and I hope it bites them in the ass.

ETA: It appears that this might not be affecting everyone, but I urge you to go check your settings anyway. Mine was defaulted to "yes." Maybe it's a browser thing, I don't know, but y'all should probably go make sure.

A Comment On eBay's New Auction Layout

Over the last few months, eBay has been playing around with their auction pages, something that has made a lot of people angry. The exception to this was, up until about a week ago, you had the choice of using the old style page or the new one. As far as I can tell, from this point forward, we are not going to have that choice, which is both very good and bad at the same time.

First the good.

One of the biggest eBay auction page gripes of the last five years has been the timer, or really, lack there of. Although the clock counted down, it didnt do it in real time. This meant either having to set a snipe to win something in the last moments, or being very clever with page reloads and multiple windows. Considering that Java technology was more than equipped to handle a real time countdown with 1 click bidding, many eBayers were consistently shafted with inferior tech. Now, thank the lord, that has all changed, as one click bidding WITH a real time counter is now available. I cant tell you how happy this makes me, especially with my paranoia over giving my eBay info to a sniper service.

Secondly, the picture options have changed a lot, mostly when it comes to size and location. Instead of having to scroll through miles of text to find the "official" pic, its now handy, right up in the corner, larger than it normally was before. I like that. There are bad parts, too, but Ill get to that in a second.

Lastly, when it comes to loading everything on a big auction, it seems like it does everything a lot faster. I cant tell you how helpful that is, as before it took a long fucking time to load an auction with a ton of shit in it. Now, that seems to be a thing of the past thanks to the new "leaner" layout.

Yet, with every good thing, there are also bad things, though fortunately most of the bad things are minor.

The main gripe I have of the new auction page is the lack of being able to see all the pics without clicking on the new picture box. I have missed things here and there because of my misunderstanding, as not all pictures are readily available for viewing. That can be very, very problematic.

Also, even though the page does load faster, it looks very odd. Seems like it was designed to avoid large loading times instead of being practical enough with the layout to have a small load rate regardless. It takes a little bit of getting used to, but again, its minor.

Overall, my dissatisfaction will be crushed by the new real time status stuff, so im not too concerned. How about you?

Bidding On Ebay: Dont Get Eaten Alive

Since eBay is the lifeblood of many of us for singles that we want to purchase, I want to discuss bidding practices for possibly getting the card you want, at the price you want it. I know for me, I have personal policies that I only break under very particular circumstances, and I am hoping that this discussion can help some people out, or at least prevent stupid bids from happening to my card.

First, the question of bidding late versus bidding early always presents itself with an auction that is not BIN/BO. I know when I take a look at an item, I always look at the clock first. Normally, unless it is a card that I know wont come up again for a while, I wont even open an auction unless there is a BIN or less than a day left. Its just pointless to examine an auction for a non-rare card if there is eight days left on the timer. In fact, if the card isnt low numbered or rare, you shouldn’t be bidding early either. Just put it on your watch list if its important, and wait until later. Early bidders suck when an auction first comes up, mainly because it normally disqualifies a BIN/BO, and puts the auction in the seller's court if he is a shiller. If the card is rare, it’s a little different, because early bids can sometimes prevent off eBay sales, and can put you in the drivers seat for watching the item grow. However, the shill is still a factor, and it is always a good idea to look out for that.

As for the BIN/BO auctions, its always safe to believe that the card is not going to go for less than it usually does. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, but it’s mostly a waste of time to use lowball offers. If you actually want the card, its better to just offer fair market value, plus a possible incentive of a few extra dollars, just to prevent a loss because the seller hates you. BIN/BO is a great way to buy cards, unless you are dealing with a shop that still operates on book value. Then you should just avoid the item in the interest of time, as they are not going to be accepting reasonable offers. Also, if you want the card, and you put in a lowball offer, don’t expect a counteroffer. Most people, including myself sometimes, just think you are some kid who doesn’t know any better, and will deny you without a thought. If you are indifferent to the card, go ahead and lowball, you may get lucky. No reason to risk a card you want because you want a crazy good deal.

In terms of late bidding, I usually wont bid on a card unless there is less than 30 seconds in the auction. Because sniping, or "eFucking" as my dad calls it, has become so popular, its stupid to put in an early bid on a card you want without considering how many other people want it. Sniping is a great idea, especially if you have found a good program, because you can easily enter in the max price you want without having to sit there and wait. As for me, I don’t like to use programs, mostly because I like to see the auction develop in the last seconds. If the card ends late, I will set an alarm if its important. Its just a thing for me, doesn’t happen often that I need to go out of my way to be there. Plus, the card is going to go at or around SV 99% of the time, so putting in early bids of 10 bucks on a 100 dollar card is just not going to be a good use of resources - unless, like above, its rare and succeptible to off eBay deals.

The important thing remains, if you see a card you want, just be smart about it. Don’t be stupid enough to let a card go because you want to get the best possible deal. Its better to assume the card will go at the expected price, and feel good when you get a deal. Also, the golden rule remains, unless you get some 2,000 dollar card for 200 bucks, there is no reason to go posting steals all over message boards. I will come and strangle you with the cord from your desk lamp.

Testing The Waters...

A few days ago I posted about Joe Mauer and his recent explosion, and how I didnt want to sell any of my prized possessions just because he was hot at the moment. Well, I found two cards that I coundnt give two shits about, that are actually worth quite a bit from recent auction sales, so I thought I would give it a try.

The first, a 2006 Triple Threads Auto /18, I bought in 2006 for 18 dollars as part of a bigger deal. Triple Turds never really struck me quite right, and back in 2006 I never really knew the full extent of its sucktitude. Hell, this card is numbered to 18. Who fucking numbers a card to 18? Either way, its over the amount I paid for it, so hopefully that will continue to rise. Put a few bids in on my behalf, huh? I write for you, now you help me out...

...kidding, please dont.

Second is a 2004 Ultimate Collection jersey auto out of 50. These were actually pretty tough pulls in 2004, and I bought it a 40 bucks a few years ago. There is another card from the same set at 50 bucks already, so ill see what happens with this one.

Let me reinterate that I dont care what happens with either of these cards, they are both ugly beyond hell's deepest caverns, and really have no value to me anymore. I paid a total of 58 dollars for both, lets see what they end up at. Im hoping that they reach at least 58 so I can save up for the coming storm of Harvin stuff, or any number of Petersons I dont have from previous years. Hell, I might even hold the money for that Mauer Artifacts Patch Auto /10 that never surfaces.

A Comment On Ebay's Role In The Hobby

I just wanted to make a quick comment after some emails I have gotten about my recent post regarding card shows. The general sentiment is that eBay has ruined the hobby and has put beloved shops out of business, blah blah blah.

See people, I don’t think you guys get the point here. If anything, eBay has done everything except kill the hobby, in fact, I would think that the hobby is what it is today because of eBay's prominence. Let me explain a little.

First, eBay has provided us with up to date value on just about every single card produced, and can provide value for any unpriced card at any time. It not only showed how ridiculous price guide prices really are, but it has also given us expectations when purchasing and selling cards. We now know exactly what the true value of just about any card is, because of the free bidding system that ebay provides. Anyone with a computer can bid on your cards for free, which means that when done in auction or BIN format, you can see exactly what someone else will pay for your card. On the flip side, it usually provides the bidder with a cheap way to accumulate the cards they want, as they can now bid and buy with only shipping costs as the fee.

What this leads to is cheaper prices on cards, mainly because they are usually not being sold by someone who needs to support themselves on the money they make from the sale. This means that its going to be tough for stores to compete without adopting new ways to function. Like I said before, stores exist to make money for their owners, not to provide a free marketplace for their customers. With that, if the only goal of the seller is to make profit over original investment, the customer is going to have to pay more than the item is actually worth to provide that.

This is why I don’t get why people are so adamant that eBay is the devil. Not only does it provide you with the cheapest possible way to buy your cards, but you don’t have to go anywhere to do it. That means minimal opportunity cost as well as minimal monetary cost. Why would anyone hate that? Oh, right, because they have a relationship with the people who own the stores, right?

Well, have you ever thought that your relationship with the shop owners is conditionally based on the money you spend at the store? Probably not. If you hadnt gone in there to spend money and support them, you probably wouldn’t have a relationship. If the actual collector interaction is the important part of your relationship, a storefront shouldn’t stand in your way.

What I am trying to say is that there is no reason to hate eBay unless you are talking about the people who spoil the bunch with their bad apple auctions. That’s a little different. But to say that providing the best possible price for the cheapest opportunity cost has killed the hobby is ridiculous. In fact, here is a list of things that eBay does better than anyone else:

1. Cost of product
2. Selection
3. Opportunity cost
4. Sales are based on true value of the product
5. No overhead that a buyer is forced to pay
6. Competition among sellers
7. Set information
8. Pricing info
9. Market info
10. Trend info

Lets face it people, eBay has brought more people to collecting than any single entity in history. More users buy and sell on ebay every day than some states do in a whole year for cards, and that is a great way to expand the world for people who don’t necessarily have access to a metropolitan area. It has also brought collecting to an international audience, something that has always been tough to do. Now, there are trade offs, of course, but many of them are inconsequential if you know how to watch your ass. When it comes down to it, eBay made this hobby a better place, unlike the scuzzy dealers at the show who want to give you 1/3 in trade for something you could get 100% value for online. No longer are we a captive customer with no where else to go, we have a place where all of us are equals. Each person has the same potential to sell and buy in any cost bracket, and there is no person there to bully us into buying, selling, or trading something that we don’t want to. Some card shops and shows may go under, but only the ones who are unable to adapt to the modern ways of the hobby.

Fuck, maybe now shops and dealers will finally be forced to bring their prices down to where they should be instead of basing them on a guide that is DESIGNED to help them make money. See, a lot of us fail to make the connection that Beckett prices may have been set high for no other reason than to help the people who were selling cards in their shops or at shows. Of course, now that ACCURATE information is readily available to anyone for free, more people are starting to see what a sham the guide really is. Other than appeasing the people who pay for the ads, or the people who support them by selling their magazines in their stores, there is no reason to have the vastly inflated prices in the price guide.

Who do high guide prices help, for fuck's sake? Definitely not us, as we have had to buy based on those inflated prices. Does it help the producers of the products? Without a doubt! If the guide says your cards are worth a ton, people will pay more for your products and in larger quantities. Does it help the store owners? It sure does. If they buy at 1/3 book (closer to actual value), and sell at book, they make more money.

Its pretty simple:

Ebay is and will be our best friend for as long as it is around. It shows us everything that we couldn’t find out on our own pre-internet, and provides a selection that is unrivaled by any shop or show. You cant fucking beat that with a stick if you tried. You think eBay killed the hobby? You are wrong.

I Heart Ebay Idiots and Idiots In General

Oh my god, Wheeler, thank you for sending this to me.

So, lets get you the run down on this auction:

Graded 1/1 - Check
Graded NFL Shield Card - Check
Non-gem grade - Check
Complete and Utter Idiot - Check
Population report published in the auction - WTF?

Not only do you have a guy who has ridiculously graded his NFL shield Felix Jones card from NT, but he has also published a population report in his auction. Why? If the card is a 1/1 is there really a need to show where all the cards have fallen? No, as there is only one. Duh. See, the practice of grading cards like this is fucking stupid to begin with, but to show the bidders where it stands among its non-existant counterparts is borderline mentally disabled.

Again, what will grading this card serve? Nothing. Also, what will adding the pop report to the auction serve? Nothing, but it will show that you are a clueless douche. Congrats my nizzle, you are one with the brain.

Ghosts of Collecting Future

Sometimes you just know things are not going to turn out well. When the economy hit the fan, I knew that the card industry was in trouble. Some industries have the clout to power through it, like video games or porn, but card collecting doesn’t seem like enough of a money maker to continue at its pace before the drop. Im also not convinced it was all the fault of the economy, as it seems as though the industry was getting way too far ahead of itself with what it was delivering. Players are now wanting more money than ever for their participation, and I dont think many people thought about what that would do when the going got tough.

That isnt the only large problem in our midst, however, as the mindset of the consumer may have adjusted to prices TOO much to give back enough to get it where it was before. What I mean is this. As of now, singles are at their lowest prices ever, and there is much to be had for the collector that still has disposable income. I mean, I just got a Peterson auto for like 50 bucks, and it wasn’t a bad one. Considering that I had 50 bucks in ad revenue from the site, this was a freebie that I couldn’t pass up. The scary thing is, what happens when the economy comes back around? Do we go back to the before prices or will people think, "Man, I saw this card go for fifty bucks a few months ago, I am not going to pay 150 for it right now." Even though the pre-drop value may have been at 150 bucks, and would be able to sustain that with a now returned economy, the completed auction page may prevent it from going back to normal.

Of course, super high end cards should be back to normal, and I am not talking about cards that are $250-1000, I am talking higher. Mainly the ones that really never drop in value, but just fluctuate a little here and there. You know, the Jordan RCs, the Mantle cards and other vintage, and a lot of the cards that people will ALWAYS want. But, BUT, does a rise in super high end translate to a snap back for cards below that? Im not really sure, and I am beginning to think that if one of the big three dies out, Upper Deck being the front runner for some reason, they wont snap back. Then, when you have stocked up on cards that you knew to be WAY below their pre-drop values, where does it leave you? Not in a good place, right?

Now, I am not saying to avoid pulling the trigger on those deals out there, because some of them are just too good to pass up. However, before you go nuts, you might want to think about your own mindset once things go back to normal. Would you be willing to shell out twice what you are paying for the card at this moment once things change in your discretionary funds? Hell, for the first time in decades, Americans are saving money for fear of what is to come. Who's to say that they wont continue to do so? If this type of recession happened once, what's saying it wont happen again? All of these things will contribute to the value of your collection, so make sure to keep your head on a swivel while you are buying, IF you are buying.

When Prospecting Attacks...

From my experience, prospectors are the only people I have seen make money in this industry. It requires a lot of work and a ton of patience to REALLY make it worthwhile, but when you hit it big, it can be nuts. In order to accomplish the big buys, you have to monitor the MILB stat lines, scour the BA prospect reports, and make sound decisions on what cards to invest in. Its not easy in the slightest. I know that the term "invest" makes no sense in cards, because no one ever makes any money, but this is a little different. These people buy cards for the sole purpose of holding on to them until the MLB debut, and they always have money in mind. I don’t necessarily find that much wrong with the concept, only because its like stock investing in a long term scope.

Lately, things have gotten a little extreme with a few "prospects" that havent even reached pro level ball. They have not been drafted, and one is still a sophomore in high school, 2-4 years away from actual MLB service. Steven Strasburg, a pitcher, has been widely considered as the person who will be the top pick in the draft in the first year he is eligible. He recently played on Team USA and showed amazing potential as a future ace for any number of MLB teams. Bryce Harper is in a similar situation as a catcher for a Las Vegas high school. He also played on Team USA, and again, showed major potential just like Strasburg. His videos have become a sensation on YouTube, especially the HR derby one where he hit a few MLB sized bombs.

As a result of this hype and the buzz from the prospecting community, the auto cards that have been inserted into Sweet Spot and the Team USA box sets have been fetching hundreds of dollars on eBay. It seems as though people think that these guys will be the next superstars to really make a hobby impact a la Pujols, Wright, and Longoria. Although I agree that these are some incredibly talented players, I wont be investing THIS early. I think its pretty crazy that Harper's cards have eclipsed both Pujols and Jeter, two of the hobby's biggest names, and he has yet to even be drafted.

A lot of collectors think prospectors are idiots, and I am NOT one of those collectors. They cant understand why someone would pay for cards of players who havent even played a single pro game in the top levels of the league. Personally, I think that mentality is quite closed minded. See, I have seen quite a few people get rich off of a collection that cost them only a few hundred dollars, and they have used that money to build some of the most incredible collections of players you do know. Of course, there are flip sides to everything, but the smart ones don’t usually fail. However, I think paying $250 for either of these players takes that paradigm of collecting to an absolutely crazy level.

Product Value Review: Cancelled

First, a huge thank you to "tasteslikedirt" for creating this awesome banner that is truly a photographic analogy to the endeavor we are about to partake in.

Due to lack of interest this idea will be shelved until a later time if at all.....

If You Havent Used eBay, Please Learn How Before You Sell

There is nothing more annoying on this planet than looking at a Best Offer auction and seeing that the seller has 8 offers older than 1 day and all are "still pending seller response" or "expired."

This says to me you are either not familiar with how to use BO or you are a douchebag that holds my money hostage while you sit on other offers. Im guessing most of the people who take this avenue dont understand they are supposed to deny or counter an offer they get, and not wait out the 48 hours. Im sure many sellers dont know you CAN counteroffer. That sucks because now I cant spend the money I have saved up because the seller hasnt responded.

If you are a fucking douche that doesnt respond to the offers on purpose, I hate you, and I hope you die by getting stabbed repeatedly with a rabid badger.

Frame Of Reference

Just FYI, normal Ruth cuts 1/1s go for around 4-7K. This seller doesnt seem to think that reference range is for him. He also doesnt think that normal pricing schemes are for him either as he wants a cool million for this card. Yes, I have never seen a serious auction start an asking price at 1,000,000 dollars (pinky to lip). I have seen some stupid shit, but none of them were acutally auctioning off something actually worth having. This is completely different.

Now, this is a dual cut auto, and the person opposite of Ruth does have a pretty rare auto, so the value will be above a normal cut. Yet, for some reason I dont think this will break 10K if you put it up normal style. Unless the card is a high grade vintage piece, its very tough to break the ten thousand dollar barrier with a modern card. It is very rarely acheived.

Regardless, lets run down the list of stuff you could buy with $1,000,000:

- Any current card ever produced
- More than one house
- A McClaren F1
- A Meibach Mercedes x2
- Three Ferraris
- Two top of the line Lambroghinis
- A personal U2 concert
- An Aston Martin Vanquish with all the weapons upgrades from Bond.
- A helicopter
- Personal jet service for three years
- 10 stretch hummers with living capacity
- A card shop with inventory
- A producer credit in a movie
- A night with Michael Douglas' wife
- Surgery to make you look like Megan Fox
- An Island in the Pacific
- My Soul
- The entire printing of Exquisite FB for the year.
- A controlling stake in some companies
- A factory capable of making baseball cards
- Signed letters of every president of the United States
- The ability to fly without a plane

Wow, that is a lot of you could buy instead of this card. Personally, all those top my want for a Babe Ruth cut auto.

I Am Not A Fan Of Stupid EBAY Sellers

I used to believe that feedback provided a great picture of who a seller was. However, I found out that was a sham quite early. Then I figured that if I do my own research, I could counteract a lot of the shitbag sellers that are out there. That worked for a good seven years until this month. Now I cant trust myself or the fucking system.

Here is the situation:

I buy an Adrian Peterson autographed card with birthday money on eBay. The picture is a little blurry, but it is clear enough to see that everything was as it should be. Nice auto, nice card etc. I pay for the card via paypal and the seller ships it out.

4 days later I receive the package and it is ridiculously heavy. Concerned, I open the package to find that he has graded the card and the card is a fucking BGS 8. Enraged as to why someone would fucking grade a card like this, let alone sell it, I contact the seller and let him know that this was completely fucking ludicrious. I show him that the grade, nor the fact that it is graded is not in the auction pictures, description or category listed. He immidiately responds with the excuse that he checked the graded card box on the auction (which he had), and that he is not responsible.

Thinking I had been beat, I tell him to go fuck himself and his shady dealings, and I resign to trying to trade it under less shady circumstances, mainly with a full picture. Now, because this card is one that SHOULD NEVER BE GRADED, EVER, no one wants it. I cant get half the value of what I paid - even as a BGS fucking 8. Meanwhile, this whole time I am cursing the Idiot Conglomerites who grade these fucking stupid cards that are not known for their condition.

After being unsuccessful in my unloading, I decided that it was time to make a claim with paypal to see if something will work itself out. Low and behold, there is a box to check that says "I have received my item but it is less valuable than described." Of course, I check that box, write up a long description of the transaction, and submit my claim. I called paypal to see how to submit the deliberately cropped pictures, and they said they have them from the auction. Hopefully this guy gets fucked in his ignorant fucking donkey raping ass.

Oh, and one last thing. As a local card shop, he offered a return policy for any dissatisfied customers. Funny enough it was only three days - not long enough for any one to receive their card and dispute it for a refund. Im wondering if his customers are just as fucked up as he is.

What a douche. Ill keep you updated on this.

Two Unbelievable Auctions, I Cant Stop Laughing

Well, since every single person and their mother uses Beckett to sell their shit, Im not suprised that they got these two cards. Both cards are amazing, really huge pulls that have the possibility of breaking $15K. However, a few things about these auctions make me laugh really fucking hard.

The first card is one of the Hair Cut cards I discussed a few posts back, with this one being the best of the best. The cut is nice, the hair is creepy, but overall, its not suprising to see it reach the price it did because of the circumstances. The funny thing about this auction is that the card has a 5 cm piece of the hair. At least the Washington card had a good strand, this one, however, is crap - despite it being weirdly included in a baseball card set. Again, a piece of our country's history is destroyed for profit.

The second is a 1/1 Mantle Bat Barrell that was out of Topps Sterling. Besides it being sold by Beckett, this auction screams "I AM THE STUPIDEST PERSON IN THE HISTORY OF CARD COLLECTING!" about its seller. Let me elaborate: first mistake, this fucking idiot sent his prized pull to the hobby's number one source on douchebaggery. Good idea, idiot. Secondly he had them slab it in this fucking "ROZDUCKULOUS" case because its obvious the foldout cards are beyond Beckett's capabilities. Big suprise there. Lastly, Topps couldnt include some game used jersey in this card? Instead they used some stark white old timer game jersey? Cmon, that is fucking stupid. However, the funniest thing about this idiot and his card? He had them grade it.

Let me repeat that so you get the full gist of this.

HE HAD THEM GRADE HIS 1/1 MICKEY MANTLE BAT BARRELL CARD. Please, someone, tell me why he decided to do this? If the slab wasnt funny enough, his card is forever a 7.5 for all to see. Did he think it would be worth more as a 9.5? Who fucking cares! This could be the dumbest thing I have ever seen, no doubt. Just to remind you, if you grade a 1/1, you deserve to be shot.

Tales From TWGM 3: The Return of The King

From time to time, I like to peruse the high price listings of the card section of TWGM just so I can find comedic hobby gold. I warn you, stupidity is to follow. I dont even think the guys who sell this stuff are Coe Jollectors because they seem to be even dumberererer than that. Either way, I bring you...

*cue ominous music*

TALES FROM TWGM!!!

First, I think this may be the coolest Tom Brady item I have ever seen. Not only do you get BOTH printing plates from a little known set from 2000, but you also are spending the price of a used Subaru Forester! Personally, I would rather have the cards, as Subaru Foresters are usually driven by 40 something women who want to reclaim their youth. In all seriousness, this guy should get them graded, they may become even MORE valuable.

Next we have this amazing Peyton Manning card. I think the guy wants $9,000 for it because it is numbered 16/2000 - his "collage" jersey number. You cant beat that. A card numbered to eleventy billion, ANNNNND its graded SGC 92. YESSSSSS! Too bad its not numbered 99/2000, because 9+9=18 - his "profossinel" jersey number!! Also, no best offer on this, so forget your lowball offer of $8999.95.

Lastly, we have this auction for the auto version of the Hank Aaron piece of history bat card from Upper deck. First off, I cannot believe how popular these cards are, as I have counted at least fifteen people alone on the IBMB who collect this set. The cards go for mega bucks, despite the fact that most only have bat pieces. BAT PIECES. I have written numerous times on the absurdity of including bat pieces in a card specific to a certain player, but I guess, the people didnt listen. If it was jersey, I would be a little more okay with the price. Either way, the cards do look nice, and the price is high, but not crazy-go-nuts high, so I guess I should take notice.

Tales From TWGM 2: Judgment Day

Listen, I already posted on how people use eBay as their own personal collection showcase, but it gets a little nuts when most people wouldnt want the cards. For me, I love to go through the high listed auctions on TWGM because 75% are fucking laugh factories. Here are my lowlights for this edition of Tales from TWGM.

Ever wanted a 1/1 Joe Namath base card from some weird UD set? Yeah, me either, but this guy seems to think he has struck collecting gold. I guess he expects people to want this 1/1 over that 52 Mantle, or even that Toyota Camry they wanted, but I dont think its going to happen.

This auction is twice as good as the first, mainly because the card offered is really nothing special at all. My favorite part? He put a reserve on the card because he wanted to make sure he got what he wanted. Obviously a people would buy this over the Pristine 10 Jordan RC offered right below this, I know I have my credit card company on stand by.

As for this dufus, its not the auction per se, but what is being offered. Let me ask you a question, in all seriousness, if you have this card - arguably one of the most valuable cards ever - WHY WOULD YOU HAVE IT GRADED? As if a $10,000 dollar card would get MORE valuable with a grade on it. Give me a fucking break, you dumb Joe Collector. This borders on grading a printing plate, or a logo patch 1/1. What is the fucking point? Jesus.

Same goes for this idiot.

I Think This Borders On The Dumbest Thing Ever - Part 1,000,000

Please do me the favor of checking this out.

A Wonderful eBay Auction

With that, lets go over the list:

Puposefully butchered card - check
Misspellings galore - check
The phrase "true collector" - check
Making it painfully obvious that this auction is a statement - check
A resulting Joe Collector moment - check

Just for the people keeping score at home, if you want to be cute and make fun of fake patches, fine, go ahead. Yet, when you decide that you are going to be sneaky, at least do it well. This "joke auction" is a borderline special olympics joke its so bad. In fact, here is what I expect was going through this Joe Collector's mind as he was creating this abortion:

Dude, this is so freaking SICK! Those bastards are going to hate me so much for putting together this awesome auction. Maybe they should have thought of that before selling me that fake Brett Favre logo patch that was displayed above my bed until someone on Beckett told me I was an idiot for buying it. God! I am so mother effing brilliant that I dont even know it!

....Now, back to looking at porn. Ooo, Jenna Jameson!! HOTTEST WOMAN EVER!!

I think I need a Joe Collector label graphic to post for when people act a fool. I will be eternally grateful if someone with photoshop skills could make one.

Your Bad Hit May Not Be So Bad! What?!?

When you pull a hit out of your favorite product, usually its going to suck, unless you work for Beckett. Yet, those hits may be the key to the future of the sports autograph collectibles industry, believe it or not.

Let me explain:

Right now, if you go to UDA or Steiner to buy a piece of memorabilia, you will have to pay for the market price of the autograph plus the market cost of the authentication name on the certificate. Usually, the authentication is worth more than the signature itself, mostly because of one cold hard fact: 80-90% of the autographs available on the internet are fake. Due to the number of scam artists out there, even PSA slabbed stuff is not safe for the average person anymore. On the other hand, despite the above fact, no one will question an auto'ed sports card as long as it was meant to be one. Thousands upon thousands of auto cards end up on the secondary market each day, and most collectors (with a few exceptions) believe that there is no question as to the authenticity of the player's signature. Due to the awful state of the market, as real autographs become harder and harder to prove as authentic, I see a growth in the worth of the standard auto cards of today. Its crazy to think about that now, but the donkey rapers out there are coming up with some fucked up ways to make money, and eventually PSA authentication will mean about as much as a scoreboard letter of authenticity. You saw that news report that said they got a fake through the JSA people, right?


This football was 100% guaranteed to pass authentication. It wont.

To tell you the truth, it really blows a goat that most people are only out there to make money, regardless of who they hurt in the process. They don’t care if the fake auto of Alex Rodriguez you bought hangs on your child's wall, because to them, all they see is $$$$$.

Just as an example, I had an autograph of Vince Carter that my dad gave me for my birthday a long time ago. Being a UNC grad, my dad got caught up in the vinsanity and it rubbed off on me too. Of course, my dad wasn’t as versed in the ways of the donkey raper as I am now, so he bought from some guy who had a cool picture signed in bold silver pen. He paid to have it framed, and it hung on my wall until last year. Around graduation from college, I went back and took a look at it. I realized right away what my dad had bought, and I was so pissed that I threw my suitcase across the room. I wasn’t mad at my dad, I was mad at the guy who felt that scamming people out of their hard earned money was more important than dignity - something that has become commonplace in the market.

People ask me why my view of humanity is inherantly bad, and the reason is quite simple. Humans only care about one thing in general and its being better than the next guy. By most societal standards that means having more money, and they will not stop until they have the maximum available. For most people, its not an issue to make money the correct way, but for others, a quick buck is more tempting than sex. These people know its easy to create and sell fake autos when you arent seeing the buyer face to face (sometimes even if you are!). They also know that its easy to pull the one color jersey out of the DLP card and put in a logo patch. They for sure have no doubt that someone will pay to buy it, because there is a sucker born every minute. Funny enough, this happens in every industry because people are never hestitant to take advantage of a simple customer with no knowledge - double if you are a woman. Whether its mechanics, car salesman, drug reps, even politicians (especially politicians), they all have their bad apples.

Because of the nature of this argument, eventually cards may be the only reliable source for autographs. That is a scary fact, ladies and gents, especially with people like Beckett and UD out there doing basically the same thing as the donkey rapers. Lets hope that somewhere down the road a great enlightenment happens and these guys take it in the ass. That would be awesome.

Why Even Try?

I want to rant a little here, shocking I know, about something I have had a rash of problems with on the world's greatest marketplace lately. As of last year, the new feature of Buy It Now or Best Offer has become a staple of the card industry on eBay. What it also created was a showcase for people to basically show off the huge cards they have while demanding ridiculous prices for them. Whether its a full set of 03-04 NBA Exquisite RC patches or PSA 10 Alex Rodriguez RC, people have decided its better to let the people come to them rather than letting them fight it out in a bidding war.

Best Example EVER! 1,000,000? HA!

Right now there are 3 or 4 cards I have been looking for with no avail. One of them happened to pop up on eBay a few weeks ago with a major, MAJOR, problem. The guy put a BIN w/ BO at $100 dollars over true market value. When I offered more than market value for it, he declined in 10 minutes. What is the point of paying for the listing fees when you know you wont give it away at the expected price? The answer is that there are a lot of people who put cards up without the expectation of a sale. I cant understand this, but it happens so often that I want to punch eBay in the babymaker. Why even bother with spending the time and money if you wont let the card go?

I had a similar situation with an All Day auto from last year that I had been looking for. I offered the guy 20 dollars more than market value to make sure he wouldnt decline, and of course, he declined with extreme predjudice. His reason? "DUDE! This guy is going to be a beast next year. Do you really think I am going to give it away to you now when I can get 100 dollars more next year?"

My response:

"Then why arent you selling it next year?"

His response:

"Someone out there will pay next years price right now!"

At this point I stopped. Is this really worth my time? Fuck no, but it seems like so many people are expecting big things to happen when they go with this option. I know that this special auction format works well a lot of the time, but not when you are just baiting people. I have used it countless times to make sure I am not undercut by an auction that sells low - however, unlike these idiots, I never turn down the expected market value. It sucks for me because then I have to sit around and wait for someone to actually provide the card in a way that I can buy it, instead of looking at eBay like someone's photobucket account.

Basically, it blows chunks that people use this hobby as a way to make money. I know I do on occasion, but I always re-buy other cards with the money I made, and I never expect to make a dime of my favorite cards. Right now it seems like there are a lot of people who expect to make millions.