Please Line Them Up And Shoot Them In The Testicles

You know, I dont check the IBMB at all anymore for comedic gold because their new website blows donkey ass. Yet, as usual, SCU readers come through in the clutch. One of my faithful readers, Jeremy, alerted me to an article I cant resist to completely destroy. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Beckett has previewed 2008 Triple Threads to the idiot conglmerate over on their site, despite being a few weeks tardy on the news.

The opening card pictured on their ridiculously late preview slideshow is the "24-piece relic" of Adrian Peterson. This card, pictured below, is the most ugly, stupidly conceived, hard to read, needlessly multi-jersey card ever created. There is a penny sized picture of peterson on the card instead of a nice large pic, it is an impossible to display foldout card, and the card has eleventy billion parallels. You may ask, who would buy this shitty product that hasnt changed in three years? Umm, let me display the comments here, because I think you may get the idea.

"WOW! that is the greatest card i have ever seen in my life and of my favorite player. that card is to die for.I wish i had that in my collection. the slideshow is awesome too!! You guys need to let one of us board members come on and do a box busters with you. keep up the great work GUYS!" - mblackmore01

"Those are some SICK cards. I'll be buying..." - stangy24

"Absolutely one of the greatest cards I have ever seen!" - Lprimus

In response to above: "+1" -AFFF

I am asking someone to please risk the jailtime and remove the testicles of these fucking retards so they cant procreate and fill the world with people who know as much about card aesthetics as Sarah Palin knows about foreign policy.

I Saw This And Just Laughed

Ill file this under message board fails. Seriously, if you arent going to be contributing more than one to two words at a time, its really about that time you reevaluate your reason for posting.

I think the purpose of a message board was originally to offer a place where like minded people can talk about a topic they share in common. In most cases that fails completely and it degenerates into meaningless diarrhea, and this guy is a prime example. There are 44 pages of his posts, Im putting the over/under at two words per post. He must have missed the whole quantity over quality lesson in kindergarten. I really think a sloth put in front of a computer would offer more to the discussion than this idiot.

Right Sunny?

"affasdfjjkl;j;lkjggi8iuijn4"

See, Sunny's large sloth finger claws have already contributed more. It took her an hour, but it worked...

Just an FYI, Its almost like the majority of people on any message board going to be blithering idiots with little or nothing to do but sit around waiting for someone to

Click here to see what I mean.

A Comment On The OTL Wagner Video

Personally, I dont have a take on the card itself, although a lot of the arguments I have read pretty much guarantee this card is not THE card. The funny thing about the ESPN report is that they brought the message board debate into it, which suprised the hell out of me. Since when is a message board a credible source to use in an ESPN story?

Well, the answer is actually pretty easy. The internet collector has been made legitimate by the sheer number of people that frequent the online realm of card collecting. In fact, I would say that right now, the number of collectors on the web and posting on boards/blogging are coming close to the number of collectors who dont. By that I mean there are very few people who havent read and posted on some sort of board. This figure alone makes it pretty scary that Beckett's involvement is still relevant as the self proclaimed number one source for hobby collectors. You guys all know that I dont think thats true anymore, it hasnt been true for years. In my opinion, the number one source is, without a doubt, the online community. If you have a question, you dont go to Beckett unless you are a complete idiot or a complete newb. You go to the boards around the net, the blogs, or Wiki. The good thing is that chances are, you will find an answer.

Oh and one last thing: the guy that said this is about race is fucking nuts. Authenticity has no skin color. It is as close to a fact as you can get. Im not talking about whether or not an auto is fake, I am talking about whether or not a card is fake. These guys need to stop playing the race card. Its not about race. If two white guys were selling this card, they would be just as fucking shady as two black guys who collect Pokemon cards. Shut the fuck up.

The Community Aspect Of The Hobby

Message boards: we all use them, we all peruse them, but which is the one you want to focus on? Personally I have checked out a number of boards and I have tried to get involved in a lot of them, but not all were equal in my eyes. We all have our preferences, I know I do, so I thought I might take a (partially) objective look at things. Ill add to this list if your board isnt on here, but be aware, I will give my honest opinion.

Idiot Bomb Beckett Message Boards

It used to be a place where everyone went for up to date info. It used to be a place where you could find a topic, and a fight on that topic, at any point during the day. I posted on the BMB for about a year until I was banned for linking to this site, yes, the mods are that tight assed. So besides the obvious minus of being completely monitored and censored, the boards are filled with people who have come to call the "idiot conglomerate." They post stuff that you curse for wasting your time, and the majority of the people on the boards don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground. Yet, there are a few people who I know are quite knowlegable, and were quite interested to hear the other side of things that the sheep over there refused to listen to. Most of those people are now readers of this site. There were also a number of people who refrained from the normal idiot battle cries of mojo and an abundant and moronic use of exclamation points, they were okay in my book. Now, despite all of this crap, there was a good amount of info on the site, ONLY due to the number of people who were posting. Box breaks were posted more frequently and it was very easy to find out what products to bust and which to stay away from. You could be assured that at least one box of every product would be posted. For that fact only, it was nice to have the boards around. Beckett, being the complete douchebags that they are, ripped that all away, however. Read about it a few posts down. Right now, if it were up to me, don’t waste your time with this crapfest.

Trading Card Central

This forum is the most MOJO infested place I have ever seen. If it doesn’t pop up at least twice in your thread, you can bet something is up. However, despite that, the people on the board are very, very nice people. They may fit right in with my former definition of JCs, but unlike JCs they are more interested in the collecting than the business side of things. I really like this board because it is easy to navigate, and one always feels welcome there. Trading on the board can be tough as there really arent the sheer number of people on there as other boards, but their feedback system makes Beckett look like they are in the stone age. I would say this is a great place to get involved, if not only to meet some collectors who don’t let the money get to them.

Sports Card Forum

I just signed up here a few days ago, but I have been receiving links from them since the beginning. The forums are broken down about five times per sport, which can be annoying, and I still have no idea what "card cash" is. Other than that, this site has become a Beckett refugee camp, although there were a lot of people to start. Its not a bad place, the Mods don’t rule with an iron fist, and trading is pretty good. The best part is that they use iTrader for transactions just like a few other card forums out there, and that is the best form of feedback that has been created yet. They also transfer feeback from other sites, which is a great idea and made me want to get going and fast. I don’t think I am going to rack up a ton of posts at SCF, but I will continue to check up on what is going on over there. Not a bad site.

Blowout Cards Forums

I love these boards. LOVE THEM. Members are not afraid to tell people to shove it if they sound like idiots, and my two least favorite words in the hobby have been banned from use in their forum. The box break boards are great because people bust cases more often than individual boxes. The problem over there is that they arent updated much because not many people post. I encourage you to check this place out if you want box info. Other than that, there really isnt much substance to the forums.

Hobby Kings

I go on this site when I need info on Basketball stuff. It is basically a site for Basketball collectors, and more specifically Exquisite Basketball collectors. You can pretty much expect what goes on in their forums, but it’s a good spot for information, and the guys who run it are pretty cool.

The Bench Trading

If you want a good trading site, the Bench is it. The site is almost exclusively built for traders and you know that there will be someone who wants your stuff if you have something to get rid of. The problem is that no matter what kind of feedback you have on other forums, you have to send first for a set number of trades. This almost guarantees that you have to trade with a high feedback person if you want to feel secure until you have enough Bench Points to get out of that. The issue here is that this site is so focused on trading that non-trading members almost have no place in their forums.

There are other boards out there im sure, but these seem to be the most popular. I would say that each forum has their own merits, and its probably a good idea to check them out regardless of what I say. Hopefully one day, someone will create a board that focuses on not being idiots. That would be my new favorite place.

Alright, You Win, This IS the Best Box Ever Of 2008 Donruss Classics

Warning, the following is:

I was going through the idiot bomb message boards checking on some A & G breaks, when I couldnt help but notice that this guy did indeed break the "BEST BOX EVER!??! MOJO!!!! LOOK!"

Recap ("HITS!!!!!!"):

Tony Romo Jersey /9 - 30 bucks (only because cowboy fans are stupid)

"Classic Quad Sanders, LT, Walter Payton, Emmitt Smith!!! Holy Crap!!! MOJO! 81/100!" - $46

"DeSean Jackson Jersey Auto 10/10!!!!!" - 50 bucks, I cant see it worth more than that on TWGM

So, this was a box that BARELY broke even on the box price, and even if I am off a few bucks, its still not THAT much more. Of course, its not really about the hits themselves, its about the person posting them (and his use of more than 50 exclamation points during the course of his post).

Kill me now.

Joe Collectors Need To Post Their "Steals" Or They May Explode

This morning, a Joe Collector rolled out of bed and sat down in front of his computer. I say it was morning because 11:59 am is still technically morning. Immediately he pulls up his home page, the Idiot Bomb Message Boards, or as he calls it, "the kewlest place on teh Earth," and starts his day. After looking through the new threads and posting "nice MOJO!!!!!!" on the 50 mailday posts that litter the front page of the forum, he goes to eBay.

He looks through the different auctions of his favorite players, and eventually finds a card that he can get at "1/12 of its BV of 105 dollars." He shakes in anticipation as he hits the BIN on the card. OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, he thinks to himself.

As he takes the scan from the auction, he puts it into his photobucket and pulls up the ready and waiting message boards for his monumental post. He scours the threads and makes sure that the other 10 people who have posted their steals for the day dont have the same sick MOJO that he does. One other Coe Jollector has posted his steal of a 50 dollar BV jersey card that he got for 1.99, so the JC decides he has to wait until he can have the thunder all to himself.

Later that night, after posting 5 threads about whether or not he should go through with various trades, he posts!

The result? This, This, and This.

A guy posting about a fucking Clinton Portis college jersey card out of SAGE HIT that he got for five bucks. Are you fucking kidding me? This cock knocker (thanks reader Jeff) has actually taken the time to hash out this post with the idea that people are going to give him praise for finding a card that normally wouldnt break 7 dollars(and even that is too much money for this POS card). The other guys are just examples of JCs being the Baron Von Assmasters (thanks reader Aaron) that they are.

What's even funnier is that people humor this fucktard (thanks reader Collin) with praise and adjulation. This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I cant stand these fucking fucksticks (thanks reader Ryan).

Tales From TWGM 3: The Return of The King

From time to time, I like to peruse the high price listings of the card section of TWGM just so I can find comedic hobby gold. I warn you, stupidity is to follow. I dont even think the guys who sell this stuff are Coe Jollectors because they seem to be even dumberererer than that. Either way, I bring you...

*cue ominous music*

TALES FROM TWGM!!!

First, I think this may be the coolest Tom Brady item I have ever seen. Not only do you get BOTH printing plates from a little known set from 2000, but you also are spending the price of a used Subaru Forester! Personally, I would rather have the cards, as Subaru Foresters are usually driven by 40 something women who want to reclaim their youth. In all seriousness, this guy should get them graded, they may become even MORE valuable.

Next we have this amazing Peyton Manning card. I think the guy wants $9,000 for it because it is numbered 16/2000 - his "collage" jersey number. You cant beat that. A card numbered to eleventy billion, ANNNNND its graded SGC 92. YESSSSSS! Too bad its not numbered 99/2000, because 9+9=18 - his "profossinel" jersey number!! Also, no best offer on this, so forget your lowball offer of $8999.95.

Lastly, we have this auction for the auto version of the Hank Aaron piece of history bat card from Upper deck. First off, I cannot believe how popular these cards are, as I have counted at least fifteen people alone on the IBMB who collect this set. The cards go for mega bucks, despite the fact that most only have bat pieces. BAT PIECES. I have written numerous times on the absurdity of including bat pieces in a card specific to a certain player, but I guess, the people didnt listen. If it was jersey, I would be a little more okay with the price. Either way, the cards do look nice, and the price is high, but not crazy-go-nuts high, so I guess I should take notice.