Monday, October 13, 2008

Value Bumps: Week 6

This week had a ton of crazy ass finishes, and I loved every minute of it. There were a lot of surprises, and I think I need to go over a few of them so that I can help myself process what just happened.

Matt Ryan

It has been a long fucking time since I have seen a RC quarterback play this well. I watched the entire game against the Bears, and I think the Dolphins are starting to realize they made a mistake. He is poised, accurate, and has the possibility of being on a team that goes from drafting third to being in the playoffs. Crazy. Congrats on the first 300 yard game for a RC this year.


Michael Turner

As much as Ryan did great, Turner did awful. I wouldnt say the wheels are falling off the Burner Bus quite yet, but this was a pretty bad week for him.


Kyle Orton

I have no fucking clue how this guy can be doing as well as he is. The year before the Bears lost in the Super Bowl, he was pretty much just plugging the time until the defense could get back on the field, and this year, he is actually making some waves. Unfuckingbelievable.


Bernard Berrian

Two great weeks in a row, and the Vikings longest play from scrimmage in a century, so he makes this list easily. WR cards are still worth nothing, but he goes from way down to about a smidgeon on the positive side, so you may want to think about picking up his RC cards while they are still going for a penny on the bay.


Matt Schaub

Talk about a crazy finish, AND it comes to get your first win against a tough team as of late. He played very well, and it really stopped the free fall his cards were taking during the suckfest that the Texans were in the midst of. I still think its funny that the Patriots couldnt stop the Dolphins, but the Texans manage to hang on. That is crazy fucking shit.


Aaron Rodgers

He continues to impress with half of the teams fans jumping all over him not being Fah-ve. He did really well for being injured, but it wasnt exactly against the best team. He continues to get a bump, however.


Greg Jennings

I would say he is close to being the best receiver in the NFC right now. The guy is a beast. What is funny is that even with him, Rodgers and driver, Grant still sucks like a little high school slut. HAW HAW!


Rashard Mendenhall

If you havent sold his stuff you were sitting on already, you are an idiot or a Steelers fan. A year ending surgery is pretty much the end of your value, but if you think he may bounce back pretty good next year, could this be the time to jump on him while he is mega cheap?


Possible Bumps for Next Week

Matt Fucking Forte - if he can put up a good game against the Williams wall and the rest of the Vikings D, ill jump on board. Otherwise I get to slap him in the face with a lead pipe. Deal?

LaDanian Tomlinson - I will say that he has one more week before fantasy owners riot in the streets of San Diego (Whale's Vagina). After that, he better pick it up.

Eli Manning - I think the Giants are sadly in Super Bowl form again. If they win tonight and win next week, Eli is well on his way to an MVP. That always means a huge bump, more so than he already has.

Ronnie Brown - Who woulda thunk that Miami would be as close to the top as they are. They look great, but that loss to Houston was a heartbreaker. If Ronnie goes nuts next week on a Ravens team that gave up 31 to a sinking Indy team, he could be rolling in the dough. Good for him.


  1. The Michael Turner games wasn't surprising...thsi guy plays like a HOFer against the weaker teams and is average against teams who can stuff the run. As Ryan gets better, look for Turner to get more consistent.

    What's up with my Cowboys and Romo??? Geez...getting frustrated!

  2. Romo is having quite a lot of success. The defense is not. Sadly, they are my fantasy defense.

    Turner is good not great. Remember, 1000 yard backs come a dime a dozen.

    The thing is that I dont think Ryan will get much better in the next few years. After that, look out!

  3. Uh OH...ROMO out for a month.

    BTW, you mentioned that Orton was just plugging along in the Bears Super Bowl year, till the D got on the field. Actually, Orton didn't play that season. Grossman was at the helm. Orton played the season before.

  4. Yeah, my bad about Orton, I meant to say the year before.

  5. Gellman hearts Forte.

    I never thought I would see the day.

    If I could add one more to the bump down list it would be Brian Westbrook. It's the system theory. It's never good to watch your backup perform at such a high level in your place. It makes people believe in the system rather than your skills. Don't believe me? Then ask every USC receiver and Texas Tech QB.


  6. I love my Giants! Rodney Hampton is still my favorite to this day. The way the Giants are playing does scare me a little. Dare I say 16-0? Look at what they did without Plaxico. Oh well...this is life in the NFL!

    You have to show some love to Steve Slaton. He'll prove his worth this year.

    How about a tiny bump for Calvin Johnson? He actually showed up to play yesterday....LOL.

    How about a big heaping can of smelly TUNA Fish for all the NFL officials that made some pretty crappy calls yesterday!