Monday, October 6, 2008

Please Line Them Up And Shoot Them In The Testicles

You know, I dont check the IBMB at all anymore for comedic gold because their new website blows donkey ass. Yet, as usual, SCU readers come through in the clutch. One of my faithful readers, Jeremy, alerted me to an article I cant resist to completely destroy. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Beckett has previewed 2008 Triple Threads to the idiot conglmerate over on their site, despite being a few weeks tardy on the news.

The opening card pictured on their ridiculously late preview slideshow is the "24-piece relic" of Adrian Peterson. This card, pictured below, is the most ugly, stupidly conceived, hard to read, needlessly multi-jersey card ever created. There is a penny sized picture of peterson on the card instead of a nice large pic, it is an impossible to display foldout card, and the card has eleventy billion parallels. You may ask, who would buy this shitty product that hasnt changed in three years? Umm, let me display the comments here, because I think you may get the idea.

"WOW! that is the greatest card i have ever seen in my life and of my favorite player. that card is to die for.I wish i had that in my collection. the slideshow is awesome too!! You guys need to let one of us board members come on and do a box busters with you. keep up the great work GUYS!" - mblackmore01

"Those are some SICK cards. I'll be buying..." - stangy24

"Absolutely one of the greatest cards I have ever seen!" - Lprimus

In response to above: "+1" -AFFF

I am asking someone to please risk the jailtime and remove the testicles of these fucking retards so they cant procreate and fill the world with people who know as much about card aesthetics as Sarah Palin knows about foreign policy.


  1. I'm sure it would look much better as a nice big GU piece and a decent sized photograph, but 24 is WAY more than 1. Reminds me of when I could trade my younger brothers a couple pennies for a dime.

    So.... I keep wanting to see one of these booklet cards get graded by Beckett. "The outside looks perfect!"

  2. I wonder if you can see Russia from Beckett headquarters ...

    As long as Topps keeps funneling money to Beckett to pay for their ads, Beckett will give glowing reviews for every product. If Topps produced cards containing pieces of toilet-used shit, Beckett would be hyping that too!

  3. Wow, I never figured you for a liberal. How sad.

  4. Who said I am a liberal? I could just think Palin is a dumbass when it comes to politics (which I do).

  5. anonymous,

    Thinking that Sarah Palin is a moron is merely a function of having an intact brain, not of political ideology.