Thursday, August 28, 2008

My Uninformed NFL Preview

Now that we are exactly one week away from happy time and the NFL regular season, I think its about time I throw Joe Morgan to the wind and give my predictions. Of course the level of my expertise comes from my hobby involvement, and watching about 20 seasons of Vikings football, so you know what this is going to be like.

Big Stories From Last Year:

The Patriots - I think that last year was an exceptional year, one for the history books (suck it Mercury). This year, there is no way they will continue that. In fact, with the prospect of Brady missing the first few games, they may start out pretty awful. We all know that wont hold, but I don’t see a perfect season. Do they make the playoffs? Depends on Brady and the injury. Every game he doesn’t start is a game they lose in my book.

Tom Brady NFL Touchdown Record - No way this happens again, both him and Manning arent going to start the first game according to my crystal ball. If anyone breaks this it will be Tarvaris Jackson no wait, nevermind.

The Giants and the Super Bowl - Without Osi and Strahan, and without the luck they had last year, they may not even make the playoffs. I hated to see Eli win the game because Eli is an ass, and I hated to see the Giants win because the Giants are a team of asses. I hope they end up worse than Brett Favre (wow, I cant believe I just wished Brett above someone!)

Brett Favre - The Jets are awful. They just are. Putting an aging Favre on that team makes them slightly less awful. They wasted a top pick on Gholston and they didn’t really add any offensive power to put behind Favre. However, that never stopped him before. My guess is that they still wont make the playoffs.

Adrian Peterson - My man. Last year he made the league look foolish in the first 10 games. Then, after a big day in Detroit, it was all downhill from there including a knee injury. During the preseason, he didn’t look all that great, but neither did the offense, so hopefully they will gel and everything will be fine. Of course, this year, he will face 8 or 9 in the box every single play he is on the field, which will greatly limit him. He worked on it all offseason, so that may help. If Jackson stays healthy and Berrian does well, All Day will have a great year. If they suck, so will he. Will he break any records? Fuck no. Will he have a great season? 50/50. Will he have a good season? Yes. I say 1100 yards with 9 TDs and 3.9 YPC.

NFL Division Winners: Vikings, Cowboys, Saints, and Cardinals
Wild Cards: Panthers and Seahawks
AFC Division Winners: Patriots, Colts, Bengals, and Chargers
Wild Cards: Steelers and Jaguars
Super Bowl Teams: Cowboys and Chargers

NFL MVP: LaDanian Tomlinson - AGAIN.
NFL ROY OFF: Jonathan Stewart (950yds 7TDs)
NFL ROY DEF: Sedrick Ellis

Top Valued RC Card After Week 16: Still Darren McFadden
Biggest Drop in Value: Rashard Mendenhall (Willie gon' have a biggun of a year), Felix Jones (He will go back up next year)


  1. The Bengals. I thought you knew something about football ;)

  2. Where's Cleveland? You picked the Bengals over them? Are you nuts? Brett Farve is a douche bag, but do not bad mouth my Giants--we got rid of the biggest ass when we traded Shockey to New orleans.