Talk About A Heart Breaker

Watching the game yesterday, I actually thought the Twins had a chance of winning. They were up two runs, they had Nathan on the hill, and they looked like they knew what they were doing. What I forgot is that the Yankees had paid out their ass for a veritable all star team, and that every single player with the exception of Melky Cabrera could hurt you big time.

As if without provocation, ARod showed why he is one of the best players* in the game. My heart sank. From that point forward, I knew the Twins had no chance. It was like watching a little ant squirm under the magnifying glass. Hell, the same exact goddamn thing happened a few years ago. Twins were up by a few in the ninth, Yankees come back to tie, win in extras. Even this year they walked off three fucking times against us. You know why? Because they are just too good for a small market team, or anyone for that matter.

It sure didnt help that the umps blew a few different calls that would have put the Twins ahead, or that Delmon Young and Carlos Gomez are the worst fucking hitters in terms of discipline. They had their chances, and the Twins couldnt follow through.

Of course, I said the last win of the year would sustain me, and so far it has. But after games like that, I have little faith that I wont end up yelling at Ron "OOOO! Piece of candy!" Darling or Chip "Kill me please" Caray with reckless abandon. Maybe if their coverage of Derek Jeter didnt approach or eclipse ESPN's coverage of Brett Favre, I wouldnt have as much of a problem. When Posada gets a hit, I dont fucking care what Jeter is doing in the dugout. Maybe Jon Gruden is directing.

Tomorrow the Twins go back to the dome to seal their fate. Either they will win and stay their execution, or the Yankees will crush the hearts of all the children in attendance under the weight of Johnny Damon's shorn fur. I think that's what they want, to hurt the children. Yes, the Yankees hate children. Well, except for Jeter who probably gave a wheelchair bound kid the ability to walk out of the stadium by infusing him with his clutch-osity and October winning power just by saying hello and shooting him with his gun finger.

Go Twins.

Jesus is the Derek Jeter of Christianity

Fire Joe Morgan was so good at what they did that Im actually positive that there were a few tears shed about their departure from writing about baseball. Actual tears, not fake virtual "OMG Dont Leavez!" tears. They have had one last go of it over on deadspin.com, and I think I may have hurt myself laughing at their destruction of some articles written by morons who call themselves sports writers. Obviously after this post I wrote last week, their discussion of an article calling for Derek Jeter to be AL MVP was my favorite. Just fucking amazingly funny and well written, all of which are obviously absent here on this blog. Do yourself a favor and read.

http://deadspin.com/5360440/jesus-is-the-derek-jeter-of-christianity

This Had Better Not Be The Case

Last night I was driving home from work, listening to some of the dumbassery on fox sports radio. They were fawning over Derek Jeter's latest accomplishment, as well as congratulating him for curing three sick yankee fans of swine flu by winking at them. I was about to change the channel, as I always do with any Yankee news, when they said the dumbest thing I have ever heard out of the mouth of anyone about baseball. They said that this is Derek Jeter's year to win MVP because he will have broken Lou Gherig's yankee hit record. I actually had to swerve out of the oncoming lane because I was rendered momentarily retarded by the stupidity of that idea.

Now, Jeter has had a good season, but there are at least five other people who legitimately deserve to win the award more than him. Yet, aside from all semblence of rational thought, the people on the radio thought he should win as more of a lifetime acheivement award, and for breaking a TEAM record that has no bearing outside of the pinstripes.

Even more scary of a thought, I could actually see people jumping on with this idea. In fact, after Buster Olney's ridiculous fluff piece on what Jeter is all about, it could become gospel. No matter that someone like Joe Mauer has put together the best season that baseball has seen from someone not named A-Rod or Pujols in a long, long time.

Take a look for yourself. Its black and white to me that when you destroy every stat category in the league, as Mauer has, he should be MVP. Bottom line. For the American League, Mauer is at the top of every relevant stat, all while playing the most physically demanding position. When was the last time a Catcher did what he is doing this year? Oh, right, last year for the same fucking guy.

Sadly, because he plays in Minnesota, and because the MVP award has become more about which team makes the playoffs, Joe could be on the outside looking in AGAIN. Thats how stupid some of these voters really are. Its not about your individual production anymore, its about every other player on that 40 man roster too. I wonder what would have been the case if Mauer was playing with Texiera, Rodriguez, and company. What if Mauer's TEAM actually had a pitching staff without injuries that won 9 more games this year? Is he MVP then? See, thats the craziness of this whole thing, even with a pitching staff that is in shambles, Mauer has kept them afloat.

If it is truly about wins, as of today, Joe has factored into more wins for his team than any other player per his Win Share stats on Baseball Prospectus. Funny enough, if not for Mauer, the Twins may very well be in the cellar of the division. He leads the American League by a ton in VORP, EqA, AVG, OBP, OPS, SLG%, everything. Unlike Jeter, he actually deserves this award for this monster season. Then you can add in that he has done all he has this year while missing the first month due to a painful injury, and you have a great case.

I would even go so far as to say that Jeter wouldnt want the MVP just for being there. Then again, I have ZERO confidence anymore in anyone who has a pick in this crap. As long as people like Woody Paige and his idiot bretheren have a say, true MVPs like Mauer may have to deal with the disappointment.

Alex Rodriguez's Shattered Love Life Is For Sale On Ebay

So, what would you do if you have a ball signed by A-rod and Cyndi Rodriguez (former)? Why, you have it authenticated and put up on eBay, of course! Arod's former doorman had this ball signed by the slugger one day, and because the economy is tight, he has decided to post it for sale.

Quote from Derek Jeter, "You bitch! I thought you said you were done with her!"

Really, the price is awful, and I am not sure who would actually want a ball signed by Arod AND his ex-wife. Thats just dumb. The funniest thing about this auction? JSA authenticated Cyndi's auto too. Thats called "over doing it," folks. Besides, who would fake that anyways?

My Yankee Stadium Goodbye

I had this long ass post about how much I hate the Yankees ready to go, but really I am just glad to get rid of this awful plethora of Yankee love that has been choking me since the beginning of the season. Bring on the wrecking balls so I dont have to sit through any more 13 minute epics on sportscenter every hour, and so I dont have to see any more Yankee loads blown all over MLB.com each time I check the Twins score. There are more important things going on - forget this meaningless bullshit.