Going To My First Baseball Game This Year

Ive always been a fan of going to the park, downing a few beers and having a dog while watching some baseball. Because I am not a Dodger fan, and Anaheim is way too far away, I dont usually make it out to the games I want to see. The Twins play out in California at least once a year, and there is always a reason we cant go. This year, despite the fact that my wife is bursting at the seams, she insisted that we see the Twins and her "boyfriend" Justin Morneau.

Due my wife's prodding, we bought cheap tickets on eBay, and tonight is the night we go. Of course, I missed the game where both Mauer and Morneau went deep, but Im sure it will be fun regardless. I wish we would get to see Kevin Slowey instead of Carl Pavano pitch for the Twins, but a least we get to see them. I wanted to buy one of the awesome new away jerseys for the game, but I figured that making a clothes investment like that when I am expected to lose a ton of weight, isnt really the best idea.

Either way, we will both be there in our Twins garb, cheering on our boys to an eventual 12-2 loss. We will be THOSE fans, the ones you hate seeing cheer for the other team, but at least we arent too loud. Im just hoping to see a good game, and a Twins win would definitely be icing on the cake. After last night, Im a little worried they blew their load the night before we decided to go, and all that is left is a sacrifice fly and two bloop singles. Hopefully the ass-bats werent packed for the trip and it wont be a game laden with Twins fails. Hopefully.

Baseball Brings Hope To The Weary

I have said every year that I have two religious holidays that I celebrate. First is the opening Sunday of the NFL season, and the second is obviously Opening Day for MLB. This year the Twins are playing in LA, so I have the privilege of watching the first four games on TV here. I will also be venturing towards the land of Mickey on Wednesday to see the game, which means that all is well in the world of Gellman. Funny enough, though my wife is VERY pregnant, she was the one who wanted to go more than anyone.

Other than that, Im glad there are a slew of games today, and I have the opportunity to watch each and every one on demand, thanks to my purchase of 1 month of MLB TV. See, this is the part of the season when I am so interested in baseball that I would sit and watch any game that is on. The feeling quickly wears off about 50 games in, where I switch modes to paying attention to only the Twins. I have the feeling that this particular season will try my patience with the Twinkies, especially after the Target Field new car smell wears off. This is the first season in a long time where pitching is the hole rather than hitting, and everyone knows that pitching is always more important. There are also teams like Detroit who made as many moves as the Twins, slating them atop many lists as a contender for the AL Central Crown. However, with good improvements made to the infield due to the signing of Orlando Hudson and JJ Hardy, as well as Jim Thome to fill the ever fluctuating DH slot on occasion, I still think the Twins have a good shot at a run into the post season.

I still think its kind of odd that despite my lack of interest in baseball cards and most things baseball that come extra, I still pay very close attention to what is going on for most of the season. I follow the stats more than anything, and I get awfully heated when the all star rosters and season ending awards come around. I hate undue recognition in Baseball, mainly because of the outdated stats used to determine success. With last year's awards being the first in a long time to pick the right players, I felt somewhat vindicated in my hulabaloo. This year, I hope the trend continues as dumb ass sports writers move away from stats like Wins for Pitchers and RBIs for Batters. Baseball has long shown that the good players excel at getting on base and hitting for both average and power over knocking in runs, and that Wins are about as meaningless of a stat as Holds or something similar. I can see that maybe people like Joe Morgan, Woody Paige and Mike Celezic are finally becoming part of a growing minority now that Sabremetrics are finally making their way to the top of player measurements.

Lastly, because Baseball is here, we know that nice weather isnt far behind. Baseball is a constant in our lives and I expect it to be for as long as I am around. It’s a long, long, long season and its tough to not get caught up in early hype and small sample size success. At this point I don’t care, as its obvious that the Yankees are slated for 162 losses if they continue on their current pace. Hopefully this statement turns out to be true as the season moves on, but right now, everyone is in first place, and everyone has the shot at being world champs. I cant help but wonder who will rise to the challenge this year, and Im praying to the baseball gods that my Twins will be the ones to raise the trophy when all is said and done.

Talk About A Heart Breaker

Watching the game yesterday, I actually thought the Twins had a chance of winning. They were up two runs, they had Nathan on the hill, and they looked like they knew what they were doing. What I forgot is that the Yankees had paid out their ass for a veritable all star team, and that every single player with the exception of Melky Cabrera could hurt you big time.

As if without provocation, ARod showed why he is one of the best players* in the game. My heart sank. From that point forward, I knew the Twins had no chance. It was like watching a little ant squirm under the magnifying glass. Hell, the same exact goddamn thing happened a few years ago. Twins were up by a few in the ninth, Yankees come back to tie, win in extras. Even this year they walked off three fucking times against us. You know why? Because they are just too good for a small market team, or anyone for that matter.

It sure didnt help that the umps blew a few different calls that would have put the Twins ahead, or that Delmon Young and Carlos Gomez are the worst fucking hitters in terms of discipline. They had their chances, and the Twins couldnt follow through.

Of course, I said the last win of the year would sustain me, and so far it has. But after games like that, I have little faith that I wont end up yelling at Ron "OOOO! Piece of candy!" Darling or Chip "Kill me please" Caray with reckless abandon. Maybe if their coverage of Derek Jeter didnt approach or eclipse ESPN's coverage of Brett Favre, I wouldnt have as much of a problem. When Posada gets a hit, I dont fucking care what Jeter is doing in the dugout. Maybe Jon Gruden is directing.

Tomorrow the Twins go back to the dome to seal their fate. Either they will win and stay their execution, or the Yankees will crush the hearts of all the children in attendance under the weight of Johnny Damon's shorn fur. I think that's what they want, to hurt the children. Yes, the Yankees hate children. Well, except for Jeter who probably gave a wheelchair bound kid the ability to walk out of the stadium by infusing him with his clutch-osity and October winning power just by saying hello and shooting him with his gun finger.

Go Twins.

Two Amazing Games In Two Days

What a high I am living right now, my Twins beat the Tigers in one of the best games in the team's history, and the Vikings go and beat the crap out of Aaron Rodgers and the Packers (literally). Its the first time in a long time that its a great week to be a Minnesota sports fan.

Granted, the Twins are going to go to New York and get destroyed like the Death Star, but this win was good enough to validate their improbable ascension to division champs after losing Morneau and half their pitching staff. It sure helps that the Tigers had an epic collapse, but it was still a great victory none-the-less.

Photo Credit to AP

My main man Joe Mauer also should have secured himself the MVP, as if he didnt deserve it already. To the idiotic writers, the stats he put up would only have been enough if the team had made the playoffs, and now it looks like his resume is complete. That makes me very happy, as he is more

deserving than anyone in the AL, no question.

Photo Credit to UD Blog

As for Favre and the Packers game, I couldnt be happier for both him and for my favorite cattle roper Jared Allen. They did an amazing job putting up points against a good Packer defense, and it was awesome to see Aaron Rodgers get the shit kicked out of him on the other end of the ball. Yeah, yeah, I know it wont last, but it was nice regardless. The true test will be against Baltimore in 2 weeks, with one of the best defenses in the league, as well as a good offense with Flacco, Mason and company.

It was also sweet to see Sidney Rice have another great game, and I dont think much will be made of it, which is unfortunate. Rice had a great TD catch as well as two possible game saving onside kick recoveries, which definitely contributed to the win. Favre and Allen got the spotlight, but Rice deserves some of it.

Peterson, surprisingly had a mediocre game, mainly due to the Packers loading up the box. Of course, they paid for it, but it was discouraging to see him play just okay. The big play was the strip for a TD, and its scary to think that he has the most fumbles of any back in the last 2 years. That is not a good thing.

Lastly, I dont think I can watch another monday night ESPN game as long as Favre is playing. Gruden had crawled so far up Favre's ass that he may as well try and get a couch in there with some direct TV. Its fucking brutal.

Here's to another great Minnesota sports week, hopefully the high will continue.

The Twins' Date With Destiny

As the season wrapped up last year, I was not excited about playing a 1 game playoff against the White Sox in Chicago. Not a good place to be, especially coming off a horrible series against the Royals. They ended up losing 1-0 on a Thome home run, and ended up watching the playoffs from their couches instead of the dugout. This year, its a little different, as the playoff will be played in the dome, and they will have a rookie pitcher to hit off to add to it.

Aside from being happy that the Twins have even made it this far with the team as beat up as it is, their success has been even more of a testament as to Mauer's place as the 2009 AL MVP. The Twins lose Morneau, and Mauer continues at a torrid pace to help his team into a tie on the last day of the season with NO pitching what-so-ever. If Mauer doesnt win, you may see him actually raise his voice for the first time in his life. He has had one of the best seasons in MLB history, and to not end up with the hardware is criminal.

Either way, the Twins do have a much better shot at Winning this year, especially with Baker on the mound and a day off to get themselves together. Funny enough, the Tigers are having problems getting hotel rooms because of Monday Night Football, so maybe that will play into the Twins' improbable playoff run.

Ill be the first to admit, the Twins should NOT be in this position, and they will NOT go far into the playoffs, especially with the Yankees waiting for the winners in New York. But to see Detroit slip the way they have and to see the Twins turn it on, you can bet your ass that they are not going down without a fight.

The game starts at 3 pm PST, so I probably wont even be able to watch it all thanks to a few meetings I have on tuesday, but I will not hesitate to drive 80 down the 405 to make it as soon after the start as I can. Im actually thinking of concealing a radio in my suit, especially if things start out well for the Twins.

Regardless of the outcome, im sure all the Minnesota fans out there are happy to see the dome leave our baseball consciousness for good. After reading that Torii Hunter set himself on fire on a dive for a fly ball, I think its safe to say that outdoor baseball is where its at. That, and when the seats face the opposite outfield instead of the pitchers' mound, I will be happy that my neck wont be sore during a game ever again.

Im hoping that Mauer does amazing on tuesday and shows the idiotic voters who is boss, all on the way to a Twins victory. Although this will probably be the last win for them this year, it was a treat to see them make it this far.

Now, where is my Homer Hanky?

A Comment On Extreme Price Jumps

Over the last few weeks, Joe Mauer has been the best hitter on the Twins and possibly in the league, after returning from his injured back. I never really expected to see Joe have a good season, but when you are batting over .400, you have ECLIPSED your homerun total from last year, and have played brilliantly behind the plate, it requires some sort of attaboy from me and others around the league. What's even better is that Morneau is having just as great of a season so far as well, more than I ever expected to see from him. Hitting behind Mauer helps quite a bit, but I will give credit when credit is due, these guys are having cloverfield sized seasons this early.

That’s not the issue I have, however. My biggest thing is now Mauer's cards are so fucking expensive that I cant afford them anymore. As recent as two months ago, you could get his cards for close to nothing, and I did. Now, the cards are triple what I was used to paying for them, and I am quickly being priced out of the market. So, what do I do now? I have so much Mauer stuff that I could easily sell for a small fortune, but as a die-hard fan, I don’t think I could do it! My bat I got last year is going for over 300 in regular auctions, and my Bowman RC Auto is back over $100 for the first time in a while. For the first time since Peterson's 296 yard record game, I am in a prospector's dream position - I bought low and can sell high, but should I?

If it were any other player but my favorite, the stuff would be on eBay as we speak. My two baseballs, my bat, my mini helmet, my 40 auto cards, everything. However, I did not buy this stuff to sell it. I bought it for my own enjoyment, so that’s where it will stay. My advice to the rest of you who may find yourself in this position one day is to really determine what the stuff means to you. If you have something you could live without, sell it. If you cant, then don’t, pretty simple stuff. That’s the rules I live by, and I encourage you to take advantage of good prices when you can/want to.

There is still another pressing question, one that I may not have the answer to. When, during an epic price run, should you sell? You don’t want to hold it for too long until the player cools off and you miss your chance, but you also don’t want to sell too early and miss out on higher prices still. I have always had a rule in gambling, and I think it should factor in here as well, because prospecting a price of a card is like gambling in this industry. If I ever sit down at a Black Jack table or something similar, I will never risk anything past doubling my money, the odds are never in your favor that you will do much better than that. So why not just take the money and run? Sure, you could win more, but its more likely that you will lose everything back. With cards, I would never hold something longer than a 75% rise in value (100 rising to 175 dollars and such) unless there is an extenuating circumstance like I have with Mauer and Peterson. In football, do it as soon as possible, maybe even at 50% or less because the season is shorter and injuries are more likely.

Listen, when you have a bird in hand, don’t wait for it to become the two birds in the bush. Just take it, risk is never good in a hobby like this one, especially with the economy where it is. Why even take the chance if its something you are willing to dump? 99% of the time, you will be able to rebuy what you sell at a lower price. Then again, with a hobby also full of wax breakers who risk hundreds weekly, its not surprising to see someone try to hold something for value. Remember, and I have said this a million times, cards are not and never will be a good investment.

With Mauer, I am going to stay put, the stuff I have is too important to me, and most of it is personally obtained. I would say the same stuff about my AD collection, though the rest I would sell in a second if the price jumped. There is no reason for me to think any other way as Tom Brady and Albert Pujols were once in a lifetime opportunities, and I am not disturbed by the fact that I missed out on both.

Mauer Is Back, Twins Watchable Again

Yes, Mauer is back, no pun intended, after spending exactly 1 month on the shelf. I cant tell you how happy I am, as finally the Twins are actually watchable again. I love Justin Morneau, dont get me wrong, but for some reason, watching one without the other just doesnt seem right. 

Actually Mauer couldnt have come back at a better time, as the Twins are in the midst of a division series against the near first place Royals. Whoa, hold on, pick your jaw up off the floor, yes the Royals dont suck anymore - yet. 

You know what the great thing is? First at bat: GONE. Yeah, he takes a pitch the other way into the seats, making me feel okay in his returning clout. Mauer goes away with the pitches more than any hitter I have watched on a regular basis, enough to actually give the teams nightmares in their outfield shading. To see him back to business the first time he steps up to the plate makes me a little warm and fuzzy inside.

As of now, Mauer has had 6 hits in his first 8 ABs, and thats gotta make your week. I am hoping this continues.

Get Ready To Sock Some Dingers

Its that time of year again, my friends, that time of year when the sky is usually blue enough that it hurts your eyes to look at, the time of the year when the titans of the game take off the training wheels and let 'er rip. Finally, its opening day. Finally.

This year, its been tough to get excited with Mauer on the shelf for up to a month, and the Twins hurting in general, but everything always seems to work itself out. In fact, Mauer is far from the biggest name on the DL, as Rodriguez is out for a few weeks and Hamels is also out for a few weeks. Everyone is still recouperating from the WBC, and the fans are putting on their winter jackets to sit through the early games in the cold weather cities. Its still a wonderful time of the year.

To me, Football is obviously the bigger sport, and much more of delicacy considering the lack of games, but that doesn’t take all the excitement out of the boys of summer. I will say this, I did not re-purchase the baseball package this year, and I think that is a pretty good idea. You get to that middle part of the season where teams are on autopilot and you just get bored. At least I did last year. It becomes another job to get home and watch the games you paid for.

As for the hobby, I havent bought a box of baseball cards for myself in a long time, and Prime Cuts was really the only set I saw that was worth my time. I bought a box of threads with money I had won or gotten as a gift, so it really wasn’t the same as risking my shit for a box of cards that wasn’t going to produce. Baseball has become even more of a first world collector's sport because there just isnt anything worth spending 200 bucks on for a box these days. Triple Threads is a disgusting excuse for a product, and Topps Sterling is even worse. I cant justify spending 200 bucks on a five hit box, let alone 250 on a 1 hit box or a 1 auto box, when the majority of the autos are worth less than 10 bucks on ebay.

Baseball should have a good season this year, though, as most of us are looking for another team to recreate the Tampa Bay miracle. Last year showed that payroll means nothing, and Baseball needed that. It didn’t stop the Spankees from spending a small country on Captain Cheeseburger and Mark Texiera, and if you were looking at how much was being thrown around, you would wonder what the hell people were talking about when they mentioned the bad economy.

Either way, today should have been a holiday, and it should be your top priority to get out to a park this week to enjoy the nice or shitty weather for playing Baseball. Im going to try to make an Angels game, but work sucks about that, so it may not be possible.

So, umm, PLAY BALL!

2008 Minnesota Twins Prediction Preview

Well, the 2009 baseball season is upon us, and there is around a month until opening day. I always love the beginning of the season, just like I do with the NFL kickoff, because everyone is starting with a clean slate. I think this year will be a VERY entertaining year, as there are a lot of old faces in new places, as well as some teams coming back that are hungry for a repeat of 2008.

Of course, the most important team for me is the Twins, who have taken a few chances during the off season on some free agents that may net them some improvement over 2008. I think they have as much of a chance to win the division as they did at the beginning of last year, but this time things are a bit different. First off, everyone is a year older, and that will be huge for the Twins' young rotation and outfield corps. They are one of the youngest teams in those respects and I think the years worth of experience will prove to be important. The other thing that will be intrinsic to the Twins success or failure is the other teams in the division, as the Royals and Indians both got somewhat better, and the Tigers only need to put it together to be a perennial contender. Last year the Tigers epically fell apart, and ended up in a race for second to last with the Royals. I doubt it will be the same this year, but the Tigers are on the losing end of age with both Sheffield, Ordonez, and a few others decending down the peak of their careers in my opinion. Although, with Granderson and Cabrera, they have a young core that could make them the team to beat in the central. Add Verlander, who is coming off an awful 2008 campaign, and you could be more than just division champs. Of course, that is all if they can convert their talent on paper to success in the win column.

The Twins nucleus is the same as last year with a new face peppered here and there in the line up. I expect that if they perform at the same level they did last year, we can probably be near or at the top of the central.

Joe Mauer

Mr. Mauer is my favorite player as I have well documented on this site, and I will say that he should have been the MVP last year. I don’t have a talent for Sabremetrics, but it has been shown on numerous sites, that his season should have been the one. Of course, because baseball writers are about as smart and connected as Beckett is to the card industry, Pedroia got the nod.
This year should be a little different as off season kidney surgery has the Twins taking it slow this spring with Joe. This means he will have to work on his timing and swing as he can, but it probably wont develop until a week or two into the season at best. Joe is one of the most competitive guys on the team, which means he will work harder than anyone to come back strong, but that can only offer so much.

My prediction: .310 avg, 70 rbi, 10 HR - yes I know that this is a prediction for the last things you can use to measure a player, but as said before, if I could use sabres more to my advantage I would. Plus, these stats are more universal and people will get a better measure of my prediction.

Justin Morneau

Morneau had his third amazing season in a row and finished second in the MVP voting. He has immesurable power and improved his hitting skills so that his OPS, his SLG % and all the stuff like that went up. Last year, I thought he would have a humungous year and I was good to have that inclination. The guy is a monster.

I expect that Morneau will be as good or better than he was last year because of his futher experience, and lack of any injuries coming in. I think he has a good shot at being at the top of the MVP voting again if the Twins have a good season, but who knows with them. Morneau has had horrible second halves for the last few years, and I hope he doesn’t tail off like he did before. That would doom us to another playoff-less season.

My prediction: .301 avg, 135 rbi, 35 HR

Fransisco Liriano

The F-bomb came back with a vengence last year after being sent down to the minors due to being sucky during the beginning of the season. I cant tell you how good that made me feel, especially when he looked like he wouldn’t ever be back like he was before his injury.

This year should be more of the same from last year, as I expect that with a few new pitches and a better arm, he should be back to his old self. He wont ever have that nasty slider that he used to, but he should manage with what he has.

My Prediction: 3.50 era, 150+ strikeouts, 1.1 WHIP - yes, I know, Wins and losses are not included here. Its because they suck as a stat. The others arent much better, but its better than fucking wins and losses.

The Rest of the Rotation

2008 was a great year for Scott Baker, Nick Blackburn, and Kevin Slowey. All are young guys who have really nasty stuff. The only thing is that they didn’t have the experience to make that nasty stuff work as it should for them. They went deep into counts and gave up a TON of HRs, and it was tough to watch them at times.

This year, I guarantee will be a different story. There is nothing more valuable to a pitcher than experience, and I think that with good coaching, they will be one of the better rotations out there in a year or two. Only time will tell if they can put some of those pieces together early so the Twins can have a chance.

Joe Crede

Crede spent most of 2008 dealing with his aching back. He hasn’t played a full injury free season since 2006. Despite those obvious deterrants, he is still an upgrade over last year, as long as he can stay in playing shape. He should have a good bat, and a great glove, but I don’t see him lasting the year. That means that Brian Buscher, Alexi Casilla and Brendan Harris will need to step up.

My Prediction: .275 avg, 48 rbi, 10 HR (115 games)

Overall, I think the Twins have a real shot if they can duplicate the things that made them successful in 2008. If they can improve in the field and even a little at the plate, they can be great. If they drop in any category, you can expect them near the bottom in the division.

My Prediction: 85-77, 2nd place.

David Versus A Goliath Of Assholes

Well, in about 2 hours, the Twins and White Sox will face off for the AL Central Division. I want the Twins to win, of course, but I have decided that I want the White Sox to lose more than that. What I mean is that I hate, hate, HATE, the White Sox, and I think it would be better for Baseball if they lost.

My reasoning is this: The Twins have the least amount of HRs in the AL and are more known for hitting for average, getting on base and running around. That is what makes a game fun to watch. They also have a pretty tiny payroll, and are not known for going out and buying a team. The White Sox are known for building/buying/trading for a team centered around players who hit .245 and socking 30 dingers. That sucks. Basically, if the Sox dont hit 3 home runs, they lose - and they have pretty much done that for the majority of the games. I dont think that is that fun to watch, as I would much rather see a three triple game, than a three home run game.

Of course this is coming from me, a person whose favorite player is Joe Mauer, the guy who hits .330 and 10 HRs a year with amazing, amazing defense. That is what I cherish in a player, the guy who doesnt need to swing for the fences to help his team win. He also is very close to the top in Win Shares, so I think he does help out more than people think. I also think he is one of the most well liked players around, which says a lot for the soft spoken catcher.

Funny shit from early may - who called this bitch?!? Thats right motherfuckers, ME.

Then we have Señor Bag O' Crap, AJ Pierzynski - the complete opposite of everything I just talked about. He plays dirty, he runs his mouth, and is pretty much the most hated player in the game. I hated him when he was a Twin, I hate him more now that he plays for Chicago. This is the guy that tried TWICE to injure Justin Morneau last year by stepping on his ankle running down the first base line on a routine ground out. Then again, we got three awesome players for him back in 2003 or whatever, so maybe I should be thankful he was a Twin. Funny enough, he was enough of a cancer in the clubhouse that they got rid of him, so San Fran basically gave up everything for nothing.

Guillen, although he gives the Twins credit for being as good as they are, sucks at life. He says awful things on a regular basis, and is more interested in being in the controversy spotlight than putting out a good lineup every day. I love seeing him lose, it warms my fuzzies like nothing else. He deserves nothing but shit from everyone, and I think even he knows that his managerial career is a joke now.

Guys, I know the White Sox will probably win, but thats fine, we exhausted them to a point where a deep playoff run is most likely not going to happen. The series sweep from last week was a bright point for the last five years, and it was nice to see Mauer win another batting title this year. For a team that was supposed to finish 4th, its cool to see them get this close.

Heave the Hawk

Oh my god Ken "Hawk" Harrelson is the worst play by play announcer in the history of Major League Baseball. At least Joe Morgan and Tim McCarver are color guys, so you dont have to listen to them talk for three fucking hours. I can barely watch the Twins game right now because they are using the stupidity of the decade broadcast rather than Dick and Bert from the Twins.

I dont know whether its because he refers to the White Sox as "We" and the away team as "Them" (something that no other broadcaster does), his constant referral of the Sox by their first name and the away team by their last name, or if its his repetoir of tired mannerisms like "he gone" and "you can put it on the booooooooaaaaarrrrrddd, YES!"

He just bothers the living fuck out of me, and dont say its because Im a Twins fan - I would hate him more if it was my home town broadcast team.

Go to Heave the Hawk and see that I am not the only one.

2008 MLB Draft: Welcome to MN, Mr. Hicks...

With the 14th pick in the 2008 MLB draft, the Minnesota Twins select the same guy they picked last year, so to speak? Aaron Hicks, a HS outfielder from CA, is a guy most known for his arm strength, speed, and defensive ability. One thing he is not known for is power. What a surprise right?

Last year with Ben Revere, all name jokes aside, the Twins got a gap hitter who is faster than hell. This year, they drafted Hicks, who has a lot of the same tools that Revere has. The plus is that he is over 4 feet tall, unlike Mr Tiny - but that may work against him as he only weighs 170 lbs.

Either way, I have been studying Twins draft picks for the last few years and it seems like a lot of them never went anywhere. Although common for the draft, its kind of shocking that your first rounder wasnt a sure bet for the show.

Good luck Mr. Hicks, you probably will need it.

100th Post: Adrian Peterson Has Explosions In His Shoelaces

Because I am a transplanted Minnesotan living in LA, its tough to be a Twins and Vikings fan because none of the teams are broadcast on TV. This year was special, however. As a birthday present from my parents, I got the MLB package on my digital cable so I can watch all the glorius wonderment that are the 2008 Twins games. This includes the games this week where Mauer hit two Morneau sized home runs into the right field upper deck. Fucking blasts and a half.

Clip? We got a clip?....




....okay, no clip. Stupid YouTube rules.

Funny enough, I find myself enjoying the commercials more and more each day because they remind me of home, and because some of them are PURE GOLD.

Here is one from the All Day Foundation Celebrity Golf Tournament(follow link - cant embed).

Three things I want people to recognize from this classic piece of American Advertising:

1) Looking at that swing, All Day sucks at golf. Bad. I would want to go to the tournament just to watch him shank wormburners all over the course for 18 holes.

2) The Vikings Mascot had no business walking on the range while someone is hitting. It his own fault he got hit (Or maybe its the weak armed intern who tried to throw that golf ball at him).

3) All Day has explosions in his shoelaces. No wonder he can blow past defenders with the greatest of ease!

I cant wait for football this year, its going to be a "blast." Pun intended.

A Thank You Note To The Twins

I would love to personally congratulate the Twins on coming back from down a whole hand's worth of runs (five) against the leagues worst team (at this moment) in the top of the 9th, to win it in 10. They did all of this despite an 0-5 performance from Mauer, who is 0-9 in the series, and an 0-4 night from Cuddyer. Morneau, you ask? EN FUEGO. Im guessing his batting average on balls in play (BABIP) is hugemungous for this series, and he has made the last few weeks his bitch. Thank you Justin, thank you.



So, with the White Sox performing well above expectations, and the Indians and Royals falling apart, I hope the Twins continue to take advantage of stupid baseball teams making awful decisions like Royals have done on a consistent basis.

God knows, my Mauer and Morneau collection needs your help!!

I Am Really Sick Of East Coast Teams/Fans

If there is anything about NFL fans that I hate, its Patriots and Giants fans. Ill tell you though, those fans cant hold the jock of Red Sox and Yankee fans. I have already talked about pricing for Joba being fucking ridiculous considering his role on the team, something I blame on the insanity that is Yankee fandom, but now I want to talk about people born and raised in OTHER states and even OTHER time zones.



I was watching the Twins lose to the Red Sox today and I hated hearing fans cheering loudly when they hit their 4 solo home runs. I think I even heard a faint "lets go Red Sox" chant during the 9th when they were mounting a rally. That sucks. Its just a plain fucking disgrace that people who live and were born in the area arent cheering for the Twins, AND that they are cheering rather for a completely unrelated team. I understand if you are from Boston and moved to Minnesota, fine, but not all you people from Edina who decided to root for the Red Sox because they were good when the Twins sucked. I loathe you people.

Ill recall a quote here from a writer who was obviously feeling the same way I am, "I dont know how you can root for the Yankees. Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for the house in Black Jack." I put Red Sox fans outside of "Red Sox Nation" under this umbrella. You people are worse than Minnesota based Packer fans. At least the Packer fans tend to be nicer people.