There Is A Perfect Strasburg Storm A Comin'...

Topps is plowing through their late 2010 release calendar, and most of the products that populate that calendar are ones that I would love to see burned as a sacrifice to the almighty cardboard deities. The recently re-released Topps Tribute, Topps Sterling and Topps Triple Threads form the unholy trinity of Topps High end that I talk about as what to avoid, and I stand by that regardless of the gimmicks they use. This is mainly because the products focus more on packing cheap relics onto the cards than making cards that actually look good or have unique concepts. Topps Tribute may be a newer product than the old and stale Sterling and Triple Threads, but it is already falling into the familiar pattern of a design that doesn’t change, retina burning neon foil board, and stickers that are built into the design to draw your eye. Sounds like I have heard that one before, I wonder where?

Regardless of my feelings on these terrible excuses for products, there is one card that I believe could make more waves than people are expecting. Well, with all the parallels, its probably closer to 9000 cards. Of course, I am talking about the Triple Threads Stephen Strasburg Triple Relic Auto (OMGZ STRAS-JO!!11!!!!). Because Topps is actually taking the step to get some hard signed cards into the product for once in their life, this particular card should be one of those instances. Now, think about how perfect this storm is turning out to be. The people who pay 800 dollars for those Strasburg autos are probably the same people who buy four cases of Triple Threads each year. I see a distinct correlation between the two. I say this because it takes a certain type of person to buy Strasburg cards when they are selling as high as they are, and it also takes a certain type of person to love what Triple Threads brings the table each year. I think you catch my drift. When you combine the two, things could get ridiculous.

Even though the Stras cards from Triple Threads could end up being redemptions as a result of the timeframe needed to produce and sign the cards, it wont matter. Those people, you know which ones I am talking about, will go nucking futs when one is posted on eBay. Hell, they may even send it to Beckett and get it graded first, because after all, that group of people also overlaps this venn diagram from hell. Of course, this is after they post a card by card break on a message board, and combine it with a recap from their latest mail day. Yup, that’s about right.



The cards from Triple Threads will also be some of the first to have MLB Strasburg relics in them, something that will drive the prices even higher than they already would be. Yeah, see what I am saying? Its going to be like that movie with Jake Gyllenhaal, a hobby apocalypse, and I am going to be stuck shivering in the New York Public Library while the Triple Threaders are going to be making snow angels in the piles of two dollar hits they will get from their boxes outside.

Don’t get me wrong, Topps is doing everything right in this case. They have a player they can exploit like a sweatshop worker, and they have shown that they will plaster his face on any possible thing to sell more cards. Funny enough, collectors sure are responding like it’s a new concept. They don’t care if Topps puts out blowup Strasburg dolls that they can use in the privacy of their own home, they just want them and they will pay through the nose to get them. Its that crazy right now.

I still stand by the frame of reference of how popular a Nationals pitcher can become when someone like Tim Lincecum has already won 2 Cy Young Awards. Lincecum's cards arent worth half of what Strasburg's are right now, and he plays for a much more popular team. When was the last time you met a Nationals fan outside of Washington? Im pretty sure they don’t exist actually. So, if Strasburg goes on to win 2 Cy Youngs, like Lincecum already has, where does that put his value? Lincecum's has already peaked and it isnt anywhere close to the value of a Bowman Strasburg auto. What does that say for future prospects of value? Its NOT likely that Strasburg will accomplish anything close to what Timmy Longhairs already has, and its actually more likely that he wont last more than a few years if fireballer history lives up to its name.

In all reality, I am going to sit back with a cold beer and watch the fireworks when Triple Threads hits shelves. Its like watching that kid open his Nintendo 64 on Christmas. Triple Threads collectors have very similar reactions in most cases, and it is equally hilarious. Even more so when this Christmas is Stras-mas too.

Triple Threads = Ratings

Topps released pictures from my absolute favorite set of the year today, and I think you will see why its my favorite each and every year it comes out. With what we saw from the 2010 set in the preview, it brought nothing but everything we expect from a Triple Threads set. Horribly designed cards with stickers built into the layout, so that they draw the eye away from the train wreck below. Cards printed on eye obliterating bright neon foilboard with more parallels than Panini could shake a stick at. Fold out booklet cards that are more concerned with spelling out obscure accomplishments in confusing die cut windows than actually making the card something to collect. A 180 dollar price point for two hits, one of which does not have an autograph. It makes me feel dumber knowing that I associate with collectors in this hobby that think this is ALWAYS the product of the year.

See that paragraph above? I wrote that two days after the release of the preview for the 2009 set. Almost 365 days ago. This set is so utterly predictable, that I could write an intro without even knowing what the 2010 cards would look like. In fact, these cards are so much more like 2009, 2008, and 2007, that there is not a visible difference other than the players on the card. I guess thats what you get with Topps High End. Overpriced boxes with ugly cards that only appeal to the people who dont consider what the actual product looks like, as long as it is stuffed full with "OMG MOJOZ!!!!111!" cards stuffed with 280 jersey pieces and five billion 1/1s.

I dont even think I need to say anything more about it. Its all been said before. Here is the preview, have fun. Im out.

My LEAST Favorite Day of the Year - 2010 Triple Threads Baseball

I fucking hate Triple Threads. Other than maybe moments and milestones or Topps Sterling, it is the worst product ever. Its stale, its boring, and most of all its got sticker autos, slapped on ridiculously stupid cut outs, printed on rainbow neon foil, with a million parallels. I dont know how there could be a worse product out there. On top of all that, it costs a shitload per box, and you only get one auto and one jersey card.

If Triple Threads were a car, it would be a Hummer. Big expensive car with no other purpose than for idiots to show off that they have one. The Hummer hasnt changed much since its release, and neither has Triple Threads. The cards look exactly the same as they did last year, the cutout swatch windows are some how harder to follow than last year, and the only improvement they can boast is that the Rising Stars cards you get 8 per case of are signed on card. Yippee. Glad they finally determined that the crappiest part of the product is the only part that is going to be on card. Other than that, its foil sticker autos that are BUILT into the fucking design. Yup, its just as ugly as ever.

Not only that, but they are bringing back all terrible booklet cards, even expanding some to stickers as well as the jersey patches and bat barrels. Yes, because the only thing those cards needed is a foil sticker that covers half the player. Nice fucking job. Hell, even the worst cards in the entire fucking hobby are back with their 24 weirdly placed relics on a booklet card. Im so happy that I can now have a card that confusingly spells out entire sentences!

You know what the saddest part is? This product costs more than just about any other product that comes out during the year. At $150-170 a box, you are guaranteed an auto and a jersey, but the quality and design of the cards are so poor that they hardly ever live up to value. Then when you think you have a special card, you realize there are five million just like it with different ugly neon colors in the background. When just about every product at or below 100 dollars offers better cards with hard signed signatures, this price tag seems ridiculous. Ill give you an example. Ultimate Baseball had an MSRP originally below 100 bucks a box. It offered better looking cards, hard signed signatures, and similar ridiculous patches. Not only that, but there was no foil board, and there was no stupid fucking swatch window cutouts.

Even worse than that, Topps fucking loves this product. Their brass thinks this product is the best thing on the fucking planet, and I hope they wise up to their horrible fucking viewpoint. They need to figure out that instead of re-releasing the same god damned product every single year with the same ugly design, they need to revamp this whole bitch and hire a design team that actually has the power of sight.

I talk bad about a lot of products, but nothing gets me fired up like High End Topps sets. They are just that bad. When you look at how good their low end stuff is, it really makes you wonder how they could fail so badly at their expensive stuff. The gap between the two ends of the spectrum is even worse in football, and yet people still give them a pass most of the time. Triple Threads personifies that drift, with so many people either loving it or hating it. I have noticed that since SCU began its personal vendetta against this product, there are a lot more people that are wising up to the worst product of the year. Im in no way meaning to insinuate that I had anything to do with it, I just think that more and more people each year start to get that vomit taste in their mouth whenever they see this preview.

Topps posted a ton of pictures, you can see the rest here.

The Creeping Death Of Foldout Cards

I cant stand booklet cards. I just hate everything about them. Its pretty obvious that my hatred for Topps Triple Turds has something to do with it, but it extends far into this year's preview for 2009 Exquisite Football. It is a completely needless innovation, it looks awful, and most of the time, its just Topps looking for extra places to spell out weird shit with swatch windows.

The onslaught of the foldout cards started in 2007 Triple Threads, when Topps decided that one card wasn’t enough room to stuff their relics into. They created hinged cards where the outside alerted the collector that they had pulled some "OMG SIZCKZ MOJOZ!!" and the inside was where the neon foilboard magic happened. In the product, there were one player hinged cards, and multi player hinged cards, all with the goal of trying to have a little more room to spell out that incosequential phrase.

In 2008, Topps went a step further, introducing their famed visual laxative "Triple Threads XXIV." For this card version of 2 girls 1 cup, they threw design and layout to the wind in order to shoehorn 24 different windows onto the two cards. This meant little room for player pictures or common reading practices, as many of the cards required some major deduction skills to read.

These cards extended into other sets as well, including the horrid Topps Sterling baseball and other high end fare. Collectors who cared little about the way a card looks and more about getting "relics" of their favorite players went nucking futs for these cards, while a vocal minority group of people scoffed at them. Due to Topps' notorious reputation of cutting up jerseys from old timer games and exhibitions, cards like the booklets held little value for people with eyes.

Fast forward to 2009, where booklet cards have continued their Sherman March into the hobby. In 2008-2009 Exquisite Basketball, the booklet cards made their mainstream upper deck debut, to much fanfare. These "upper-deckers" were little more than glorified triple threads foldouts, even though they were signed on card and very low numbered. Topps even took it a step further to stay ahead of the wave, introducing cards that were tri-hinged for extra vomit, and cards hinged vertically rather than horizontally.

Being a part of that vocal minority, I have voiced my opinion quite a bit on the existence of foldouts. Oddly enough, some of those collectors with relic manifest destiny on the brain have started complaining to. The main reason is that these cards are very hard to protect without paying 20 bucks on ebay for a custom holder. Add in that jerry rigging a holder out of two top loaders doesn’t give you complete coverage, and there is a larger problem at bat here. Yes, I realize its only a matter of time before one touch comes out with something, but until then, I will laugh heartily at the people who chase these hobby versions of the people of Wal Mart.

See, I am not a person who cares how many pieces of jersey you can stuff onto a card, no matter if its game or event used. I want to see cards that look good. Most of the time, these foldouts are created for the sole purpose of tickling the testicles dangling from the collectors who live and die for jersey cards, not those who care about design and content. I also think it’s a good reason why these rare cards, even when autoed, hardly eclipse the price of a simple and elegant single jersey auto or patch. Hopefully this gimmick will go the way of the atomic refractor very quickly, though its not looking good at this point. As long as Joe Collectors outnumber those of us who don’t scream "LAST PACK MOJO!" everytime we bust a box, things will continue as is. All I can say is bring on the boredom, ill stick with my old favorites.

2009 Exquisite Is Hitting The Net, I Am Both Impressed and Not

Card Informant has a nice little slideshow of the Exquisite Previews, and after going through the pictures, I am both happy and not. I really like the move towards signed swatches, but I cant stand that the booklets are making their way into a product like Exquisite. Triple Threads sucks because of the horrible concepts used in their products, and though these cards look better than that junk, UD is still using the bad ideas. Exquisite was fine without foldouts.

I am still not sold on the Rookie Patches either, as I get a very Las Vegas feel off of them. The borders look weird, and the gold design throws me, but the cards still look good enough that I would chase a few. Not as good as last year, but definitely better than some of the other high end cards this year.

Although the inscriptions are very cool, Im beginning to see a move towards overuse. Instead of getting one subset or two subsets a year, now we are getting three or four per product, and that could get problematic if it continues to spread. Sometimes you just need the old way mixed with new freshness.

Lastly, the biography cards are awful. Just plain awful. Not only are they booklet cards, but they look like the horrid ones I covered back in the worst of the worst from Chirography. They look boring, they have no originality, and are booklets for the sake of booklets. Bad news.

Worst of the Worst 2004-2009 #3 - 2007-2009 Topps Triple Threads

Everyone knows how much I absolutely despise Triple Threads, but it only made it to number 3 on this list. That’s how bad the top two are. In my opinion, this shit house of a product is one of the longest running crap fests in the history of the hobby, stemming from 2007 through 2009. Usually, if a product is bad, they dump it before losing face on another year's worth of bad cards. Not so with Triple Threads. This product has somehow built a following with Joe Collectors hobby wide, who have cared more about how many "relics" and stickers you can stuff onto a card than how it looks when its done. In fact, many of them consider it to be the best product ever made. How they have kidded themselves into thinking that is beyond me.

First, lets start with the format, because this is where most of the JCs even have problems with this product. For the price you would normally spend on a box of a vastly superior product, Triple Threads gives you absolutely nothing. Your first hit is a triple jersey card, most of which are from back end rookie premiere players, or oddly comboed triads of "related subjects" (I use the term related loosely). These cards are usually one color swatches of material "not from any specific game or season." These cards can sell for less than the cost of some of the base parallels, and rarely get you back any of the cost of the 100 dollar MSRP pack. Your second hit is an auto, which over 75 percent of the time will be a crap rookie. This means "getting Simpson'ed" runs rampant in this product, more than any other product of this cost bracket. Just for comparison, here are some other products and their cost, and how they relate to this product:

Topps Triple Threads 170 dollars, 1 auto, mid range resale value

SP Authentic - 120 dollars, 3 autos, high resale value
Leaf Limited - 80 dollars 1-3 autos, mid range resale value
Ultimate Collection - 80 dollars, 1 auto, mid range resale value
Leaf Certified Material - 80 dollars, 1-2 autos, mid range resale value
Topps Chrome - 50 dollars 1-2 autos, mid to low range resale value

When you look at it that way, things get crazy. Topps Chrome uses better designs, the same stickers, and people love it, yet the box costs less than half of what a Triple Threads box costs. The format of this product is ridiculous and justifies a spot on this list, but wait! There's more!

The design of this product is one of the worst in the industry, year to year. Since 2007, the cards have changed so little that some people cant tell the difference between an older card and a newer one. The layout that Topps' design team chooses is always a combination of neon colored rainbow foil, huge swatch windows diecut with odd words and phrases, tiny player pictures, and foil auto stickers that are recessed into the actual design of the card. Yes, despite being a high end product, Topps still wants us to look directly at the gaudy foil sticker.

I havent even started with the fold out cards, which have proven to be the worst part of this worst of the worst set. Because Topps couldn’t find enough room on one card for their junk, they needed find a way to STUFF more crap onto an extra card that is connected to the first one. Actually, there are now TRI-fold cards in this years product because two werent sufficient. Wow. Don’t even ask about some of the weird ass phrases they try to confusingly spell out with die cut windows. More space = more confusion for these.

Then we have parallels. So many parallels that I cant even name them all off. They all have their own neon foilboard color, and some even spell out more stupid shit. Each card has at least 10 parallel versions, 4 printing plates, a 1/1, and as many prime versions. Each player can have up to 4 different designs for the set, and when the top level is as high as /199, things can get fucking crazy.

If this was a contest for worst product of the year, Triple Threads would be at the top year after year. Its just the worst product ever conceived for a long run in the industry. Sadly enough JCs buy and melt for this product that it should continue in Baseball, but luckily for us, football is done after this year. Maybe Topps will put out one last set just to fuck with me. Funny enough, this set spawned the golden rule of Topps. This is what started it all.

I actually wish I had the intellectual fortitude to continue writing about this product, but it is so bad that I am choking down the remains of my breakfast from two hours ago. I can only imagine what I will have to go through for the set up next.

How Not To Do A Cut Autograph

For some reason, over the last year, cut autographs have gone from awesome pull to fucking ridiculous pieces of shit. When I mean fucking ridiculous pieces of shit, I mean that some of them dont break five dollars. Its not necessarily due to lack of rarity, but that is definitely a factor. I think its just as much a testament to the awful and disgusting designs that have overtaken the cut auto market.

Bad

This is a cut auto out Panini's recent release of 2009 Limited. In previous years, Limited cuts have looked like this, this and even this. Not necessarily that bad, right? Then we have this:



No more picture, looks like a soccer ball, done for the sake of doing it. At least there is a team logo and the colors are based on the team's. Since Panini puts fucking rainbow foil on everything, this card was not spared, and good lord is it bad. Unfortunately, this is the best of recent cards, and yes, it gets worse.

Awful

Upper Deck is usually thought of as the innovator and perfector of the cut auto. Their Legendary Cuts baseball product has always been a collector favorite. Recently in UD Black, all of that history went out the window so quickly that my head spun as I was projectile vomiting. Now, with newly painted walls, feast your eyes on this abomination:



No picture, odd looking hand numbering, and a weirdly shaped window that does nothing to help the cause. Just awful. For a set that looked as good as black did, there is no reason to include cards like this. I think this is the quintessential card to show that companies are now using cuts as a way to lure collectors in while delivering very little. Sad.

Fucking Horrid

Triple Threads is one of my least favorite products of all time, without question. However, even I could not believe my eyes when I saw this next card. It takes the whole cut autograph concept and just sets it aflame. Its so bad that you may want to take any children out of the room before continuing.



I dont know where to start. First off, the card is printed on bright blue neon foil. Im sure Vince Lombardi would have been proud. Second, those "relics" are from seats of the old Packers' stadium, and I am not sure why this card even needed "relics" in the first place. Fucking stupid. Lastly, we have the crown jewel, the cut itself, and I cant even find a way in my mind to get the card the way it turned out. Obviously this is a check, but they mangled it so badly that you cant even call this his autograph anymore.

Seriously, if this is what we are forced to endure with cuts over the next few years, I want them gone. This has gotten to a point of parody, and I am not pleased that this is the direction things are headed. At least pay the money to put a picture on there, make the cards rarer, and dont use them in every fucking set. All three companies are such horrible offenders of this crime, that hopefully there is still time to make it back to the way things used to be. Wow.

Triple Threads Continues To Fail

Take a look, take a good hard look and see if you can spot the mistake.

I saw this mentioned over on FCB, and I couldnt help but laugh. Seriously, how pissed would you be if you pulled a card like this and then saw that the front borders were meant for another player? I would fucking flip a shit. Aside from being fucking ugly, this card is VERY valuable due to what it contains. The problem for this guy is that Jonathan Stewart will haunt him for the rest of his life.

It does make me wonder though, does the Stewart one have a Stafford front?

2009 Triple Threads Is Live, Horrid, Ugly, and Whatever Other Adjective You Can Think Of

Everyone who is a regular reader of this site knows of my personal hatred for the worst set ever conceived/produced on a regular basis. Triple Threads is a crime against collecting, and no surprise, the fucking Joe Collectors love it to death. I guess if you love paying 170 dollars for stickers autos built into the design, ugly concepts, and needless diecut relics shoehorned onto a packed card, this product is for you. Now leave my site forever, as your "kind" isnt welcome here.

The first cards of the year showed up today, rainbow neon colored foilboard and all. I didnt think they could get any worse than last year, but just like Topps always does, they found a way. Who could pass up quarter sized pics of the players with a medival theme? I mean, this stuff is ROZDUCULOS, right?




People who buy this need their heads examined.

Constipation Relieved: We Now Have Triple Turds

Wow, the baseball card industry must feel better after the recent Triple Threads Turds preview. I know I always feel great after a big shit, dont you?

Well, in case you were wondering, the cards are up on Wax Heaven and FCB, and yes, they look exactly the same as last year. It still has stupid shit spelled out in die cut form, still has foldout stupidity with 132 different relic pieces in the card, NOW HAS TRI-FOLD Cards from player's all star practice jerseys, still the same goddamn price point, still has all the poop it always has had.

I cannot even begin to think why people love this stale ass product. Bottom line, it is complete diarrhea in card form. The design has and always will suck, the content of a box is worth maybe 50 bucks TOPS, and yet Topps always sells it for 170. Even if you hit Albert Fucking Pujols as your auto, you may not make back the price of the box. Thats how much this product sucks. On top of all that, you have 5 bajillion 1/1s that make all the JCs out there blow their loads, but makes the rest of the brain having hobby cringe.

Then you have the Ruth/Gherig dual cut, already being hailed as the card of the year. Im not sure why, as it is still a foldout, it is still stupidly designed, and it still has triple threads plastered all over it. Remember, this is the same product that took a signed Mickey Mantle ball, ripped off the hide, had A-Rod and David Wright sign the sweet spot on either side of the Mick, and put it in the card as a 1/1. Grossest abomination ever created. This could be worse.

The golden rule stands: if a Topps product costs more than 100 bucks, DO NOT BUY IT. This product takes it a little further with the massive design fails. Basically Triple Turds was created to clean out the jersey room, clean out the sticker room, and flood the market with illegitamate 1/1s. FUCK THAT.

A boycott of this product would be a great idea.

Jumping The Shark and Its Relation To The Industry

Since 1996 its been all memorabilia all the time, sometimes to the point of annoyance. However, with some of today's relic cards, there are many more reasons that they are as relevant as ever. Over the last few weeks, the NFL Rookie Premiere has taken center stage due to what happens at the event, which has lead many to say that the jersey card has jumped the shark. I want to look at both sides of the argument.

First, I can remember back to the late nineties when people would go diving for those thick packs, enough that a decoy system had to be instituted. It was like a whole new hobby had sprung, and of course, the manufacturers were loving it. However, there are large differences between those cards and the cards you have today, mainly in the quality of the production and the possibilities of what can be inserted. This has led to major developments, many of which I would not collect without.

The Patch Card

Since 1996, the focus has shifted from having a swatch period, to having the best possible swatch you can. This means that the crazier the patch, the crazier the value of the card. Because the technology to create the cards has evolved, so has the card itself. The good thing about this is that the manufacturers have seen what is valuable and seen what we like, and created products to make sure we get those things. Exquisite, National Treasures, and other products of the sort have more crazy patches than you could shake a stick at, even going so far as inserting ENTIRE letters into a card. That is awesome, no doubt, and is great for player collectors who want a little more than a quarter sized jersey piece.

Without a doubt, the league logo is at the top of the ladder for desired patches, and some people pay the price of a car to have the card of their favorite player. This was not a possibility in 1996, but all of the companies have incorporated it into the reservoir in the years since. Most now consider it to be the pinnacle of a player's year of cards, even going so far as buying cards that don’t have player pictures on them. Yet, the logos only go so far, so the manufacturers have also included the team chest stamp as a substitute, which I think is 10 times cooler than the league logo. I will say that its now gotten to the point where patches are becoming as common as the jersey card, but for most people, having a ridiculous patch is just as cool as ever. I am one of those people.

Now, with every success comes the drawback, as patches definitely have created their share. The monster known as the manufactured patch, or as I call it, the manupatch, has become as much of a standard as anything due to the success of the patch card. Most of the time I couldn’t care less, as the cards will also contain an auto, but when you have Topps Lettermen, it all goes out the window. This set, the highest treason of modern cards and one fugly set, has actually resorted to sticker autos ON TOP of fucking manuletters. I almost barfed on my keyboard when I saw the result.

Also, we have a number of people who like to replace the 1 color swatches with logo patches or team logo patches, and it has led to a general feeling of suspicion with every cool patch. Most of the time these people are so fucking stupid that its actually funny, which balances it out, but the question is still there in the back of our minds.

The Auto Relic Card

I love the auto relic cards, they are my bread and butter. Why buy the tiny swatch when you can have the auto to match? Add in the above, where patches are getting larger and crazier, and I am like a pig in shit. As an auto collector above a card collector, you can imagine why this part of the industry is so important to me, and many others like me. Most old school collectors criticize the move towards high end, but I am definitely in support of creating the most mind blowing cards you can - no matter the budget. I wouldn’t be around anymore without the auto relic, or the auto for that matter, and most people are following suit with that. You can yell and scream all you want about the way the industry is heading, but having a signed card from your player with a piece of his game in there will ALWAYS make you happy to have it.

Draw backs are a plenty, as it has become more expensive to produce the cards than to buy them off eBay. Players want exorbitant prices for their signatures, and it has led to a lot of problems with production. This has led to deeper and deeper checklists, and more problems for people like me who hate pulling Jerome Simpson as our box hit. Because people wont buy without this element, manufacturers are forced to comply to meet those expectations.

Personally, of all the elements, the auto cards and the auto relic cards need to stay to keep as many people as you can. It’s the other parts that most of us could probably live without.

The Event Used Relic Card

If anything is a testament to the direction of the hobby, its this type of card. Players who havent worn jerseys in a game put the jerseys on to give the companies the ability to fulfill everything above. I have come to terms with this type of card, and after this past weekend, I can see that players feel similarly to the way we feel. Add in a public that is craving rookie relics, and possibly one or two jerseys per year TOTAL for the players that actually make it on the field, and you can see where the problem lies. You wont see me buying singles of cards like this without autos on them, but I am not going to poo-poo them as long as the hobby is what it is.

Yet, we cant help but feel a little cheated that these types of cards are being produced, especially with the fucking stupid ass "event used football" cards. I think that if I could do without non-game worn cards, I would, so I just stay away. As Gregg said, we have the power of choice, and we should use it.

The Single Color Swatch Card

This is the bread and butter of just about every product out there. Buy a few jerseys and use them for 3000-4000 swatches, most of which are just the plain color part of the shirt. If anything could go, it would be these, but Im not sure how many people would consider a product to be worth it without 3-4 hits per box. Of course, there are those players who played so long ago, that the rules are a little different, thus leading to a jumbled existence of what is a good pull and what is not.

However, as long as products like Topps Triple Suck and Topps Suckling dress up the swatches with awful diecut windows, there will be people to buy products and cards that make use of them. Its almost like a drug you cant get off of, sadly. If anything has jumped the shark, its this, but still the wonderful people at Topps have made this a staple of every high end product they do. There are also those cards you get as a high end box hit in Exquisite that are the one color demon, but at least you still get other hits right?

Overall, much to the chagrin of most nostalgic collectors, these cards are never going to die. They have become the rule rather than the exception. I know I am probably going to get a condescending comment from Mario on this post, but I don’t think I want to be a part of an industry that doesn’t provide me with some sort of connection to a player. We could go back to 4 all base products a year, but where is the fun in that? It would be boring. Its gotten to the point now where its not just a collecting hobby anymore, and not many people are willing to admit that. It’s an auto hound hobby, a game used collector's hobby, it’s a hobby based on rarity not quantity. Most people say things are worse now than they ever have been, I think there are many more reasons to stick around thanks to many of the reasons I discussed in this post. There will always be people saying that jersey cards ruined everything, but I am one of the people who say that they wouldn’t be here without them.

Collecting On A Budget: Getting On Board With The Top Of The Class

Each year a new class comes to the front of the hobby, usually there are one or two that are in the stratosphere for pricing, a middle group of people who are expensive but not overly expensive, and lastly, the scrubs. In 2007 I was faced with a whole year of collecting that top level of rookie with Peterson, but last year, Booty was, in terms of value, a scrub. This year, Harvin will probably be a mid level guy, taking in 20-30 bucks for autos after the first few games of the season, my wallet is thanking me right now. The question remains, what if you are "stuck" with the top guy in the class, but don’t have the cash? Here are some solutions I have had to incoporate into my repetoir.

First, Chrome is your best friend. You can usually buy a box for less than 50 bucks, and you can get some of the best looking base RC cards out there. Although the autos of your top guy will be scarce, you probably wont need to spend more than 5 bucks for an amazing base card. The good thing is that collectors still value chrome, so it isnt one of those, "lets throw base RCs in here because we need to fill the set" type of things. Also, parallels for chrome will also still be well received, so that will work in your favor. Of all the parallels in the hobby, this and SPA are the only ones I support. The icing on the cake is that chrome comes out early, so you don’t have to wait to long to have a keeper. After all, you could get lucky in your box.

Second, pick your battles. There is no reason to be a super collector these days, as there is no possible way to get everything. That doesn’t mean you cant pick your favorites, however. Choose a set or two that you know will be amazing from the previews and years past, and save your shit for that release. If you like Contenders, don’t waste your money on buying card after card after card. I know one of my favorite sets of the year is Classics because I know that it is the first Post RC Premiere product. The autos are just the base cards in a parallel, so I know it wont be a crappy RC subset that was an afterthought. Plus, from the previews, it looks pretty good this year. Because of my feelings, I wouldn’t buy boxes of Elite, UD Draft, or Prestige because I am a bigger fan of the later sets. Funny enough, Draft actually looks pretty good this year, so I may jump on that boat despite my Classics target.

Third, know your personal structure of value. If you want a nice card of your top guy, and know that you will only have one or two shots at an auto with the money you have, it may be in your favor to just pick the highest up on the value structure. Usually the top of the pyramid are always nice cards, and I hope that continues. Here is my list of cards to consider:

1. Exquisite Auto Patch
2. SPA Auto Patch
3. National Treasures Auto Patch
4. Chrome Base RC Auto
5. Topps Rookie Premiere Auto
6. SPX Auto Jers
7. Contenders Auto Ticket
8. UD Premier Auto Jers
9. Limited Auto Jers
10. Gridiron Gear Double Patch Auto (the one without the EU Football)

Of course, if you just want a cheap auto option and just want it to look nice, there are quite a few early DLP products with tons of subset autos to choose from, along with UD heroes and UD Icons. They wont be worth a ton, but they will look nice. Plus I believe that most of the UD products this year will be on card, if not all, so that will be good if you want something similar to the on card bonanza that happens with the top end of the scale.

Really, I cant stress enough how important it is to save up your cheese for something you need, as there is always something else you want. If you chip away at the 400 you need to pay for a top level SPA patch auto all year by throwing a few dollars aside each time you want to make a worthless buy, you will have your cash when you need it. However, if you buy junk for a year and then wonder why you are short on cash, I have an "I told you so" cocked and ready to fire.

Lastly, it comes down to watiting versus jumping the line. If you have a QB as your top guy, and you cant possibly wait one second, fine. Otherwise, QBs usually don’t start their first season, and when they do, they usually suck. However, if you wait until this reality sweeps over the line jumpers, you can usually chop 20-30 bucks off the 100 the autos usually cost. For a RB, people are obsessed with buying as many as possible, just in case there is some miniscule chance that the guy turns into Peterson. Look at Felix Jones, Jonathan Stewart, Darren McFadden, and Rashard Mendenhall, all of whose prices were astronomical beofre the season thanks to the idiots who don’t know any better. Then, as they started to show that they were still rookies, prices fell with reckless abandon. McFadden was tops to start the year, and ended up near the middle of the value pack at the end. Mendehall bottomed out and almost became a scrub. Don’t make this mistake for yourself.

Also, here is the way value will even out as the years pass. Even though a WR may be the top guy now, history shows that in the long run they wont be:

1. QB
2. RB
3. WR
4. LB
5. TE
6. DE/DL
7. CB
8. OL

Be smart, and for god's sake, don’t be that guy.

Why God, Why?

So, I came across this thread on Blowout's forums about this guy who is happy he has all 20 of the Triple Suck relic books for their set of complete ass. These are the ones that have, wait for it, 24 different die cut windows per card, all spelling out some of the weirdest shit you could ever fucking think of.

Now, you all know how I feel about each year's JC Memorial Set, but this is absolutely fucking nuts! I cannot understand why anyone would want singles from this set, let alone ALL the fucking cards from the UGLIEST part of the years UGLIEST set.

Yeah yeah, to each his own, but hot damn, this is ridiculous. I do give him credit for finding a way to display these eye sores. Congrats for completing the worst of the worst, im not going to repeat the golden rule of topps collecting for the 8th time on here, you all know it.

Just to give you an idea of what these cards are capable of, I put TWO rows of them together. Yes, it only takes two rows of these steaming piles of watery goat turds to make you cry...

The Hobby Is Chaulk Full of Smart and Vastly Intelligent People

I was perusing blowout cards' forum today because I am in the process of navigating a mind numbingly boring day. Of course, hobby retards always brighten my day with their blinding beacon of intelligence that they are always shining my way.

The topic at hand was whether or not Triple Threads was worth the money to buy, considering that the best hits are going for less than the price of a box. After a plethora of people who said that they bought boxes at 200 bucks and sold the contents on ebay for 25 bucks, there was this GEM of a response:

"Why sell your break if you know you going to get killed ? If I pay $150. for a box of TT and know I'm only going to get $25. back if I sell then why even bother selling ? I'd try trading it for something I want OR just hold everything til I had a huge lot of GU together and flip it that way. Never understood just throwing money away listing stuff on fleabay when there are other options to try maxing my return."

Aside from the ultra intelligent reason that Im sure this person has for buying a high end Topps product, the response to the topic is borderline brain dead. The question he asks is about why he doesnt understand people who wont sell their accumulated crap in lots, but what he should have asked was, "WHY ARE YOU BUYING AN ABORTION OF A PRODUCT FOR 200 DOLLARS WHEN YOU COULD HAVE JUST BOUGHT A NICE ASS SINGLE YOU NEED INSTEAD?!?"

For 200 bucks, there are a lot of nice fucking cards you can buy, and yet, that doesnt even cross his mind. Nah, lets buy a shit ton of the worst product of the year. Hell! We could pull one of those ridiculously awesome printing plates! No, even better, one of the foldout relic cards that I cant read! YES!!! MOOOOJJJJJOOOOO!!

Fuck dude, I love these people. Just amazing in their stupidity.

February Will Be A Big Month

Man, I am excited for February in the hobby world. It is usually a pretty big mother of a product release time, mainly because NT, SPA, Ultimate and a few others should all be full blown market-wise, and because we should get some first looks at Exquisite.

SPA has always been one of my favorite sets of the year, and over the last few years, this has become even more evident. With the continuance of the horizontal SPA Patch Autos with white backgrounds, this year's cards should be among the best ever. Add in a few other cool new additions to the brand, and you have a great set to look forward to.

National Treasures, on the other hand, caters to a very different crowd. It is purely for the gamblers and whales out there, as the ridonkulous price tag is not for the faint of heart. Of course, the cards you get are very reflective of what you pay for, so that is a big plus as well.

Last year, Ultimate plain sucked. It was probably the most worthless break other than Triple Threads, and I pray that this year will be much better. The problem is, with all the craziness that has arisen from the incredibly bland baseball brand of Ultimate, I am very, very worried. Lets hope that the addition of the 1997 legends, the new RC autos, and a few other new goodies will be enough to carry this product that is quickly becoming more irrelevant by the minute.

As for Exquisite, I am VERY excited for more information after Gregg took the time to explain everything that will make the set better than last year. Lets hope we get that preview pretty quickly here.

Too bad baseball season doesnt start for a few months because I am already feeling the wasteland that remains when Football is gone and only Basketball and Hockey remain.

A Testimony To The Sucktitude Of Topps Triple Threads

Topps Triple Threads, in its very essence, is a ridiculous display of the overjersification of the hobby, the stupidity of contrived scarcity (mainly an overabundance of 1/1s), and of course, the freakish and idiotic need to include fugly printing plates in every single product.

Let me showcase an example of all of these:



The eyewash is to the right, please feel free to use it. Holy fuck.

Product Review: 2008 Topps Triple Threads

This week, all around the world, people I think are the biggest retards, are rejoicing. Today, Topps Triple Threads: Joe Collector Edition is live and on the market. Despite the fact that I would rather rip my toenails out one by one than watch someone try to justify the existence of this shit party, many people are dancing in the streets. Im guessing, though, that these are the same people who have also wallpapered their bedrooms with wrappers from all the lettermen packs they opened.

The Good

There is not much that is good about this product. I mean, I really have to struggle to find a reason why I even need to talk about this traveshamockery of a product. Either way, Topps at least managed to put some good patches in the rookie cards. Thats pretty much the only good thing I could find here. Im completely serious. Yup, I would rather jack off a bear with foam hulk hands than even watch a simulated break of Triple Suck.

The Bad

Where to start, where to start. Well, lets start with the fact that this product has not changed, even in design, since 2006. I seriously cannot believe that Topps would even consider releasing a high end product year after year, with die cut shapes being the only difference between the releases. Its like Mac putting out new computers every year with the only difference being the color of the desktop background when you first start it up.

Secondly the cards were not even that good to begin with, considering how much they cost to buy. This year is not any different, as the pictures are ridiculously small to make room for their asinine die cut windows, and it looks beyond awful. On top of all that, when you get to the triple autos, the pics are even smaller. I cant understand that.

Moving on, the color schemes are so bad that I want to avert my eyes out of fear of retina damage. The crap is filled with bright green, bright blue, and bright everything, and it makes me think that lettermen was just the four horsemen to this apocalypse.

It gets worse as the product moves up the cost charts, mainly the the foldout duals and foldout jerseys. To tell you the truth, bigger cards should be awesome, and most of the time that is true. But due to the shear craptasticness of this set, and because all of the foldouts are so ridiculously ugly, that the above theory of bigger is better is crying in the corner. First off, with the dual autos, they are impossible to display, and are basically just two triple threads auto cards connected in the middle like a demonic siamese twin. What is even funnier, is that most of the people who I think couldnt solve a basic math problem, think these cards are the shit of shits. They would litterally kill another human to get one, much like starter jackets in the 1990s. Those people are seriously funny to watch, and the great thing is that most of them have robust channels on Youtube filled with maildays and SICK MOJO!

As for the six to eight piece jerseys, they usually are way too busy and way to retarded to garner my desire at all. Next time I want a card consisting of all the conference usa mid level rookies, Ill give topps a call to send me a pack of triple threads.

The Ugly

Triple Threads' biggest issue is a main problem for all topps high end - you dont get shit for what you pay. Its fucking special ed to buy this product, as for close to 175 dollars, you usually get a crap jersey auto and a crap jersey card. That is ludicrious. I would never even consider a single pack as a worthwhile bet, unless Joshua Johnson was my favorite RC of 2008.

The best part of all of this is that Topps main selling point of this product was the inclusion of the new 24 "piece" jersey fold outs that you can pull. Yes, you can now have a card that gives topps three whole lines to spell out the most random facts about your favorite player that you can think of. Want a picture of the player on the card you just pulled? Sorry, only a dime sized photo is put on each half of this fugly foldout. I really think that anyone who pays good money for these cards should be chemically or forcefully castrated in order to prevent them from adding to the genepool and creating more idiots who buy this fucking trash.

Lastly, as usual, Topps has put more 1/1's in this set than actual higher numbered cards. Its fucking crazy how many 1/1's there are for each card, and if you go by how many there are for each player, the number is staggering. Further proof that this set is only for the douches that ruin everything that is cool about the hobby.

I once touted this product as the inagural member of the Joe Collector HOF, and I hope you can see why. Basically, National Treasures comes out in a few weeks, so dont be a fucktard buy any of this.

This Card Should Not Be Going For This Much

Well, this card, which I mentioned a little less than two weeks ago is up on the block with no reserve this time. It is getting up in the stratosphere in terms of bids, and has hit close to $4,000 dollars, last time I checked. Now, a Mantle ball costs around $1000 MAX if it is perfect in every way and PSA certified, and it wouldnt cost another 3000 to get it signed by both Wright and ARod. Plus, with that, you would actually have a tri-signed ball of a bunch of guys with absolutely no relation other than the city they play(ed) in.

See people, this is why Topps sucks. Why in the world would anyone want this fugly ass card? There are no pictures, it is printed on foilboard, ANNNNND all three autos are on the fucking sweet spot. Talk about scruntch-o-matic...

I would much rather spend less than half of the money, get a ball from all three, and display them SEPARATELY on my shelf. It is a unique card, but it will never in a million years be in the same zipcode as a 3 ball display.

Lastly, for those of you who buy and break triple threads - STOP.

First Look: A Slew Of Important Second World Previews

Well contenders is back, and they are pretty much the same. I must say, this is one of the first DLP products that I am not that impressed with. Same stats as last year, same old, same old. What the fuck is up with the GIANT "Rookie" thing over McFadden on the ticket auto? That makes no sense. Either way, I wouldnt bust this with someone else's money.

Ultimate 2008 is next, and there really wasnt much picture excitement in the powerpoint. However, there was a ton of stuff that people will love. First is they are inserting the 1997 legends autos into the product at one per case. That is amazing, as there was a Payton in that set that is beyond awesome looking. Secondly, they promise one "Super High-End Hit" per box. What the fuck this means, I have no fucking clue. It cant be bad, unless the hit is from a parallel auto set that looks exactly the same as all the other parallel auto sets. See Ultimate Sunday Stars Sigs from 2007 and compare it with Ultimate Ink 2007 - you will see what I mean.

Now, when I approached Gregg Kohn (UD Football Brand Manager) about the abortion that was 2007 Ultimate, he said he was sorry, and that I was correct it looked awful and uncreative. He promised this year would be worth it. I hope he is right - this product is getting old, and should maybe be combined with Premier. But, as the Hobby's number one high-end producers, another product at 300 per box is nothing special for our friends at UD.

I hailed this product as Joe Collector's favorite, now you see why. Plus it looks EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME AS LAST YEAR. Show me a difference. Please. Plus, you are going to be paying 180 a box for a Dustin Keller Auto Jersey that really isnt a Jersey. Who fucking wants that? Members of the Idiot Conglomerate, or IC, bust this shit like its cardboard crack. I dont see why. Topps is awful with high end, and this is no news to me. Dont fucking buy this, maybe they will stop producing it.