Georgia RB Jumps High, Has Awful Ridiculous Name

If you haven't seen the acrobatics of Georgia's Knowshon Moreno, then you should check it out. He is pretty acrobatic, looks pretty good for a sophomore, and could be a top pick in the 2010 draft, but he also could have the most ridiculous first name I have seen since Craphonso Thorpe. Seriously parents, did you want your kid to grow up thinking that you were completely incompetant? I would think so if you name him fucking Knowshon.

Either way, check out the vid.

Product Review: 2008 Topps Football

Well, Topps is here. Yay. I saw a case of jumbos busted at a shop here and I must say this has to be the biggest money burn-fest I have seen in a long time. You seriously will have better luck playing the lottery than hitting something big with this stuff.

Either way, lets get on with it.

THE GOOD

The design of the cards is pretty nice. Its sleek and clean and it works well with a lot of the colors in the pictures. They have included a lot of nice looking insert sets again, including some new ones like the dynasty tributes, and all of them look pretty good. Personally, I think this product would be a lot better with some chrome cards included, but I guess we will have to wait for those.

It was also nice to see every rookie from the premiere decked out in their digs, and the Rookie Premiere Autographs will definitely be the only reason to buy this product once again. Seriously, there is not a single reason to buy a hobby box of this over the jumbos unless you are collecting the sets. The RPAs are jumbo exclusive, and I think Topps is stupid for not making more of them and not putting them in the hobby too.

THE BAD

I dont know who took all the pictures for the rookies at the premiere but someone needs to tell him a few things:

1. You dont need to shoot the ENTIRE body of the player - closer shots are good.

2. QBs can be shown in more than one pose.

3. There is no reason to show anyone in the heisman pose

Also, I can tell that these cards are pretty much going to have the exact same effect on the hobby this year as last (nothing at all), so I think its about time for Topps to think about adding a little more value to this set.

THE UGLY

As the guy was busting his case, he came across a card that contained a medal of a player that was in the war during that time frame. No one really cared who the player was, but we were all a little preturbed that the medal was just some cheap knock off from Topps. Why the fuck would you include these in the product? These could be the stupidest idea for a card since Topps put out presidential letters to cash in on that craze. Seriously, why would anyone want to purchase the equivilent of a manufactured letter card in the form of an army medal - no auto included? For god's fucking sake, slap a sticker on there.

They also have cards of the chest logos and patches from the uniforms, and all I have to say is that Topps should not cash in on this stuff. Its just dumb for a football card.

Secondly, the performance highlight autos, which no one cares about anyways, are back and they are uglier than ever. Plus, all the rookies are in their college jerseys? Ba-wha? Why? God, this seems like a fucking rush job if I ever saw one.

To this day I have no idea why any company releases rookie based products before the regular season. That way they have more than enough time to get game photos and use those rather than the cop out college jersey shot.

To the would be buyers out there: DONT WASTE YOUR MONEY.

NBA Draft: Hall of Name All Stars

I know very little about the NBA Draft prospects and their talents, but I do know a lot about one aspect of the draft that never ceases to amaze: Names. Horrible, horrid, awful names. I personally believe that certain people should not be allowed to name their children without permission from a certified sane person, and yet every year, a new JerMichael, Craphonso or FreDanzo makes it into my realm of consciousness.

Regardless, last year's draft was one of the worst in recent memory. I mean, it was so bad that DeCody Fagg laughed to himself. Here are my lowlights from last year(in order of draft):

1. Acie Law IV - Im sure this is just a nickname, but the fact that he spells out Acie instead of the more common AC initials, makes this kind of suspect. Also its kind of weird that three other Acie Laws came before him.

2. Javaris Crittendon - What the fuck were his parents thinking naming their kid Javaris? Its like they drew syllables out of a hat and threw them on a sticky board to come up with this name. Dont worry, it gets better!

3. Daequan Cook - Lord, this is awful. Just beyond bad. At least his name isnt Dae'Quan as that would violate every naming rule in the book. Besides, is there like a book for these names or something? Jesus fucking christ, I would never want to collect a guy named fucking Daequan.

4. Jermareo Davidson - Im guessing this is a ghetto fabulous combination of Jermaine and Mario, but pulled off in a way that screams EPIC FAIL. At least spell Mario as such instead of leaving us with the bad taste of mareo in our mouths. Ugh, lets move on.

5. Reyshawn Terry - Do these parents like combining names or something? Is that what happens on the street? Cant figure out if its Rey or Shawn that is the baby daddy? Hell, pay tribute to both, thats the way! I know this is a gross and awful generalization, but I doubt I am far off with some.

6. JamesOn Curry - No that is not a typo, the O is really capitalized. What the fuck people? One capital letter per name please. Plus, if the capital letter is not in a normal place, you need to rethink your kid's name. Holy God. Also: this guy has a wicked 'stache.

7. Taurean Green - Im guessing the mom was drinking red bull while coming up with this abortion of a name. Main active ingredient in Red Bull besides meth? Taurine.

8. Demitris Nichols - Spelling error that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Demitrius right? Nope, just Demitris. My parents arent the fastest dribble on the court.

9. Jamario Moon - See his brother Jermareo for further explanation.

With that, lets move onto the projected awful names for 2008:

1. Jerryd Bayless - Please tell me what is wrong with Jared? Please? Fuck, these people have no idea about spelling rules, do they?

2. JaVale McGee - Multiple Caps, typical syllables, awful name. Someone should go up to his parents KaNasky and RaShownda McGee and tell them that their idea for a name sucks. At least they didnt name him Gorgeous. (See Name of the Year Website)

3. DeAndre Jordan - So, Andre wasnt enough huh? Talk about forcing your kid into one of two professions. You can guess what the other one is. Either way, I guess they just wanted something normal for their kid after their experiement with his brother DaKingShit went horribly wrong.

4. Marreese Spheights - Maurice? Nah, too easy. We from doubleletterville. Gotta go with Marreese for all the homies back hahme.

Other than those, the draft is pretty tame. Lesson to parents: think before you name.

EDIT: HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I didnt even to bother to look up what OJ stood for. Lets go to the board! Ovinton J'Anthony. Ovinton J'Anthony. Ovinton J'Anthony. Please, dont let that sink in - blood may shoot out your ears. This is so fucking bad that the kid hates his name enough to initial it! Fuck that Im calling myself OJ! I dont care if people think of the Juice when they hear it, but damn, what were my parents thinking?!?

I Challenge You to a Dual!

I was going through some stuff back at home a few weekends ago and I came across some of my brother's stuff in our basement. He's at college right now and most of his room is still in tact, however his collection is mostly in boxes. I saw some nice stuff, a Ken Griffey Jr ball, Hrbek ball, and what I thought was a single signed Kirby Puckett ball. Then I flipped it over and saw the mark of shame in black sharpie - Shane Mack had scribbled his name too. I must have yelled pretty loudly because my mom asked what was going on. When I told her, she responded with, "Well you guys were only 10, how would you know?"

She was right, for the most part, but there are numerous cards that befall the same fate in the collecting world - most designed by people that are not 10 years old. Dual, triple, quad, and even octographs have become commonplace now, due to a number of different advances in technology. Trust me, I want to pull the octograph with Bron, Jordan, Bird, Magic, Melo, Russell, Erving, and Kobe. THAT would be amazing. However, the octo with a few great HOF knicks and Renaldo Balkman, is not something I want.

Believe it or not, I can pull card after card that are created with a top auto on one side, and a scrub on the other. This is why I think duals suck. For every great one you can get, there are three that make me cringe. I know that card companies have to fill out sets, and therefore scrubs and bad cards are inevitable, but we should keep them to a single signed card and not ruin someone's big pull with Crap(honso) Thorpe.

Jordan and Lebron? Sure - toss them together. Makes the card more valuable to have the two biggest autos on a card. Lebron and Zdrunas Ilgauskas? Hold up. You are telling me that my first big auto pull in history will be tainted by this worthless second auto? Happens all the time! In fact in 2007 exquisite, you could pull an All Day auto, but not have it break the 150 dollar mark because it also contained Jerrious Norwood(see below). Not only does Norwood have one of the worst first names of all time, but his auto brought the value of the card down about 100 bucks. Its fucking stupid when you paid 500 for the box and pulled the biggest name of the year, yet you cant make up the cost because he is paired with a hobby nobody.


The other side of this octograph contains the four other top RBs in the game. Michael Bush? Brian Leonard? 2nd-3rd stringers for basically their entire career. Ugh.

Topps Cosigners has taken the dual to a whole new level. They made an entire set out of it. Besides parallelling the base set to death, they also created 50-80 dual auto cards that rarely break 4.00 on ebay. They were like, "Why only give them one whozit auto when they can have two?" The problem was that it was the box hit for 120 bucks. UD Reflections had a similar concept in 2005 was a good set with a good price point, but most of the duals that made the set famous were awful. Ask Dallas McPhereson.

My solution? Creativity. I know, I know, a lot to ask for these days. Instead of tossing random or even related players on the card, each designer should ask themselves whether the value is raised or lowered by the additional auto(s) on the card. Duals should be a big pull, not a crap afterthought. Fill out the set with more creative subsets that collectors will love, which will make for less duals, triples and quads that no one wants. You want to put LT on the card with Emmitt and Barry? Please, go ahead! But if you are considering LT with Michael Turner, please dump it, we don’t need it.

Upper Deck - Thanks for the Memories!

Man, I have wanted to do this for a long, long time. Let me start with that. I feel there are so many issues that need to be tackled, because with most things, information is at a premium. So with no sponsorship or any type of dictators running the show, I can finally post without worry of what is going to happen. No bans are thrown down here.

THE UPPER DECK SITUATION

So, most of you have been following this, im sure. Right? Its the first time I was really moved into action by anything going on in the hobby. To tell you the truth, when I first saw the video on http://www.beckett.com/ , I felt like I had just gotten a Craphonso Thorpe Auto in exchange for my Adrian Peterson redemption. For those of you unfamiliar with the situation, watch the video.



So yeah, this sucks. Upper deck has finally gone mental and actually thought they could slip the puck through our five hole. Who do they think they are dealing with? If I believed that this was pure luck and both Beckett and Upper Deck had nothing to do with it, I might as well go bid on all those NFL logo patches numbered to eleventy billion. Oh wait, like this one:

http://cgi.ebay.com/Eli-Manning-2004-Hot-Prospects-NFL-Logo-Patch-AUTO-350_W0QQitemZ290218085753QQihZ019QQcategoryZ149905QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Now, lets go over some odds here. If it is 1/70 cases for an Adrian Peterson Patch /99, I would assume it is next to impossible to pull the 1/1. Lets say its 1/700 cases to pull a 1/1 of any of the RC patches. Now lets say that it is 1/734 boxes to pull the single cut autos, almost triple for the duals. Add in a 1/1 LT base, and a quad jersey auto, and yeah were talking ridiculous here. I would say greater than 1/20,356,000 to pull all the cards they did (not the players they did, just a similar card palate).

Just luck huh?

Now, we had responses from both the breakers themselves AND the Beckett editorial staff that said they had no prior knowledge of what was in those boxes. I mean, where would they find the time to organize this, right? Wrong. Check out 2:20 in the main beckett vid. Yeah, that glance is dirtier than whore in Khazakstan. Either way, they told us that they got four boxes and only opened two.

Here is what I say: UD pulled the case with the AD 1/1 and sent a little note on which of those three to bust. THEEEEENNNN, they packed a special box that gave us that little shimmy down your spine while watching.

"Dear Beckett, thanks for the happy ending last night. I know you love it. Here is a case and one box to give you that warm fuzzy feeling you like when we cuddle. Now, obviously you only need to open 2 boxes - obviously the extra box and the one in the middle of your case. Ill tell you it will have you loving me 'ALL DAY'. From, your love, Upper Deck."

For some reason, I dont understand the four boxes they sent either - I mean why not just send a case? I think that is MORE than sufficient. Alas, they sent four. I think this is why.

So, on to the actual fourth box with the dual cut and the LT 1/1. Yeah, never would have made it out of the factory. Can you imagine getting that box? It would've made my life. Instead I got a teethy BJ from Beckett and UD. That infamous box violated about a million collation rules anyway, because there is no way in hell that any box would contain all them wonderful toys. Most of the Exquisite boxes are laid out like this:

1 "rare" card (not guaranteed)
1-2 "uncommon" cards
3 "common" cards

Three cards in this box would satisfy the first category. ITS WHY THERE ARE NEVER BOXES WITH MULTIPLE LOGO CARD 1/1s.

Lastly, I just want to list all the things the Beckett guys have pulled over the last year or so. I think it speaks volumes.

1/1 National Treasures Brady Quinn "So sick its dead" patch auto
1/1 Exquisite Adrian Peterson RC patch auto
1/1 Walter Payton/Brian Piccolo dual cut auto
1/1 Joe Dimaggio cut auto jersey.
/99 Exquisite Vince Young 3 color patch

Wow. That says a lot. Im kinda wondering where they buy their shit. This is fucking nuts.

Check back for more, UD should be posting a response soon. THIS SHOULD BE GREAT!