This Could Be The Coolest Sports Card Ever Created Pt 2

I found this posted on one of the other message boards I follow when I posted the God Shammgod card.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce Mr. Wonderful Terrific Monds. He was a prospect in the Braves system named as such because his parents were so happy when he was born. Now he will be tortured, ridiculed, and blogged about until he dies.

I actually find this kind of sad, because he obviously wasnt at all wonderful or terrific enough to make it to the show, but also because he has to live up to his name his whole life. Although, I will say, he would be the perfect person to run a car dealership or restaurant under his name. Forget Galpin Honda, lets get Wonderful Terrific Honda!

This Could Be The Coolest Sports Card Ever Created

Thank you to Russ (Voluntarheel) for giving up his soul for this card. It was worth it, because now I get to post it for everyone to gaze upon with the eyes of a lamb. Please, revel in the glory of this amazing spectacle of autographic deification.*



Is this awesome because his name is lord? Is this awesome because he signed his FULL name? Is this awesome because his handwriting is that of a fourth grader? All of the above are true. Consider me among the saved.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_Shammgod

*Yes, I purposely made sure that "deification" was one letter away from "defication."

These Team Names Bug The Crap Out Of Me

Of the team names that exist in pro sports, there are a few of them I cant fucking stand. I mean, most of them have nothing to do with the actual prowess of the team, they just suck. Here is what I mean (in no particular order of suckage):

Houston Texans (NFL) - What if I named the Vikings the Minneapolis Minnesotans? What if there were three other teams in Minnesota? Regardless of what a "Texan" really is, this name is shit. Its the biggest cop out of all cop outs. When I heard the new NFL team was going to be named the Texans, I was like, "Can someone tell me why they just named their team after a citizen of Texas?" (Possible other names they could have had: Outlaws, Wranglers, Marauders, Vultures)

Charlotte Bobcats (NBA) - Im serious, this sounds like a WNBA equivilent team. No matter how menacing a Bobcat may be in real life, they are feminine animal to me. Considering how fucking awesome a Hornet is for a team mascot, this is the complete opposite. Man, Insect mascots are so underrated. (Possible other names they could have had: Barons, Divebombers, Tiger Sharks, Destroyers)

Columbus Blue Jackets (NHL) - What the fuck is a blue jacket, and why would you name your team after them? Wiki says, "The Blue Jackets' name and logos are rooted in Ohio's rich Civil War history," but that is inconsequential. There easily could be a better name for this team that still carries that history. Personally, as a civil war knowledge layperson, I got nothing in my head about OHIO and the fucking Civil War. Also, can someone elaborate on why neon fucking yellow was part of the logo? (Possible other names they could have had: Generals, Owls, Cyclones, Cavalry, Cannons)

Tampa Bay Devil Rays (MLB) - The Stingray would have been an awesome sea life mascot. The Devil Ray sounds cool, but not as cool. When you take out the devil, based on some fucking ridiculous objection from some dumbass, you deserve to be on this list. I guess they are playing on the sun's "rays" and the actual animal "ray" but really it doesnt fucking matter. Yeah, you made the playoffs, but your team name sucks. (Possible other names they could have had: Stingrays, Crocodiles, Sharks, Tarantulas, Smugglers, Hitmen)

Oklahoma City Thunder (NBA) - Every criticism you have heard is completely justified. To use an amorphic mascot as your team name never works. When you hire a college graphic design student to design your shit, you become infamous. As the Heat. (Not going to list possible names because this is so recent)

Which brings me to...

Miami Heat and Orlando Magic (NBA) - Yes yes, the Magic Kingdom is in Orlando and it is very hot in Miami. Still, you need to have a person or thing as your mascot. A firey basketball is not a cool amorphic logo and the team name sucks more. The Magic have sucked forever, maybe its because you cannot personify their mascot. Fuck. (Possible other names they could have had: Wizards, Typhoons, Tsunami, Scorpions, Cobras, Diablos)

Minnesota Twins (MLB) - I know, its in regard to the Twin Cities, but as awesome a team name as the Vikings are, and as awesome a team name as the Timberwolves are, this sucks. Completely non-threatening team names suck. (Possible other names they could have had: Bears, Blizzards, Buffalo, Bison, Eagles, Wolves - pre NBA)

Which brings me to...

Minnesota Wild (NHL) - Holy crap this name sucks. The bear head logo is awesome but the name blows more than the Timberwolves whole team. It could work if you were a 50's rock band, but not if you are a hockey team.

Washington Wizards (NBA) - I really think that the Wizards would have been a good name for the Orlando team, but this makes no sense in Washington. The Bullets were so much cooler, and the jerseys were so much cooler with the red and white stripes. I hate this one, Washington teams cant be named something cool, which brings me to...

Washington Redskins (NFL) - I dont mind indian names when they sound respectful. This could be the most racist teams in the world. I mean, I couldnt imagine the New York Hook Noses, being a jew, so this should go. If there is actually a tribe named the Redskins, it shouldnt matter. This name sucks. (Possible other names they could have had: Commanders, Bandits, Generals, Admirals, Warriors)

Washington Nationals (MLB) - Never has a city gone 3 for 3. Never. Welcome to idiocracy that is Washington DC. Only would a Washington team name itself after what seems to be diplomats in other countries. Patriotic my ass.

NOTE: My team names may suck, but I had little to go on. If you have others, please post, I literally put 5 seconds of thought into each one. I really wish a team would be named the Cannons. How cool is that? Oh, and baseball team names need to be boring. They always are.

Georgia RB Jumps High, Has Awful Ridiculous Name

If you haven't seen the acrobatics of Georgia's Knowshon Moreno, then you should check it out. He is pretty acrobatic, looks pretty good for a sophomore, and could be a top pick in the 2010 draft, but he also could have the most ridiculous first name I have seen since Craphonso Thorpe. Seriously parents, did you want your kid to grow up thinking that you were completely incompetant? I would think so if you name him fucking Knowshon.

Either way, check out the vid.