Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Day Of Reckoning Is Here

A few months ago we got our first look at Topps Triple Threads baseball. After I cleaned up the projectile vomit that had managed to climb my walls, I hoped that they would give up on the brand for football. Every day since then, I have prayed to the card gods that Triple Threads football would be axed along with Topps Sterling, and replaced with a good looking and well thought out product. Sadly, the day of reckoning has arrived and it carries the fruit of visual diarrhea with it.

Earlier today, Chris from FCB got some preview images from Topps, and posted them on the site. Topps probably thought that their attempt at putting a half jersey into a card would make collectors forgive the abortions of years past. Obviously, I wouldnt use this tone if the card was amazing, so please escort your children out of the room before you continue on.

Yes, Topps has brought the turdtastic tri-fold card to football, took the design, and flushed it right down the toilet with any prospect of producing a respectable product. They have decided that STUFFING three swatches of jersey into three separate cards is more important than producing one card that actually looks good. I am not kidding, the burning feeling in your eyes needed two extra card panels to manifest, one panel of crap was not enough. You will also notice that the fucking logo of the goddamn product is the same size as the player picture, and that for some reason, brown is the color of choice.

Dont get me wrong, all the JCs will love this card to death because it has a logo and a letter on it, but I respect their opinion about as much as Beckett's. The reason stems from the fact that in an industry where design has fallen by the wayside, cards like this replace good ideas. The manufacturer thinks that by blinding us with huge swatches, they can direct our attention away from the fact that the card looks like a piece of goat shit.

As good as the designs usually are for low end Topps, they are as bad for high end. I just dont get it. Just because your cards are jammed with stickers and relics, doesnt mean you can give up on the other aspects of the card. It actually makes me sad that this set is popular, because it stands for every single thing that is wrong with products today.

In fact, while I was writing this, one of my coworkers stopped by to ask me a question. He collected cards when he was younger, but now is mostly just a sports fan. He asked me what I was looking at, and I said "the newest card." He saw it and shook his head in disgust. He then said, "Is that from Topps? They always try stupid shit like that." Laughing, I said that it was. Its stuff like this that makes me wonder if some people are so concerned with the relics that they forget the cards themselves look like poop. No wonder this is brown in color.


  1. Totally agree with you. Just wanted to say that "abomination" makes more sense than "abortion" when you describe Topps high end products. I'm just picky about grammar...

  2. I am well aware of the use of Abomination. This is an abortion. Its as if Topps got pregnant with a design, and midway through the pregnancy, decided to have an abortion. Thus producing the "abortion" result.

  3. It's amazing to me that people actually anxiously await the release of this crap and spend hard earned money on it.

  4. this set looks like crap. i dont want to look at it

    id rather watch gellman eat a bean burrito

  5. the only people who will like that:

    WOW brah, thats MAJOR MOJO.

    u trdin it? checkkkkkk out my buckeeeettt

    i trade by beckett man

  6. I can only trade it at book value.

  7. That Tri fold card makes me want to go out and punch a kitten in the face. Man they be soooooooooooooooooooo crappy.