Thursday, October 16, 2008

My Fellow Blogospherians...

Ladies and Gentleman, as self appointed President of the hobby, I am here to address you today about the state of the things we love so much. Even though, this 100% completely legitimate presendency is only recognized by this blog, the state of Idaho, and three small towns in Alabama, the following address is something we all need to take heed of.

Fellow blogospherians, I am here to say the state of the hobby is GOOD! However, despite our positive state right now, this is not a mandate to coast through the months ahead and expect this speech to be the same at this time next year. Right now, due to concerns in our economy, the state of the hobby depends on you! If you are one that is ready to buy a card - BUY IT! Do your fellow collectors good. Do not wait for the price to drop, even though it will, because that is BAD for this hobby and bad for America.

To begin, be sure to break tons of wax, as this is the lifeblood of this hobby. I guarantee you freddie and fanny shop-owner are better off because you bought their boxes. They need your support because it is tough for them to survive as a small business in a time when it is common to get 10 dollars as a return investment of a 100 dollar box. If you continue to buy, I promise this to you, my friends, I will work tirelessly to make sure that your plight in this hobby improves by demanding our manufacturers give us more value on each investment we make. We will also not stand idly by while they give their boxes away to the people who don’t deserve them. I am not talking about the Secretary of Wax, Mr. Alejandro of the great state of Florida, I am talking about Beckett, Tuff Stuff, and most importantly, the Media. My friends, we need to help the people who deserve it, not belittle them. Save your anger for those who need to feel the wrath of this 'sphere!

Right now, I want to take a moment and talk about Joe the Collector. Joe was simple man from my campaign trail who brought up the fact that he was getting scammed by predators on a weekly basis and he was tired of being the "dunce of the hobby." He outwardly blamed me for his problems, even going so far as to say my policies were making his life difficult. In between his unintelligible remarks about "MOJO" and youtube maildays, he asked me to take pity on him and for help. Well Joe, I promise you and your bretheren to continue to push for manufacturer inclusion of not only anti patch faking technology, but also a scanned database of all high end cards for all to see. I ask you today, do we not deserve that?

I want to move on to another topic, one that plagues both you and I on a daily basis. When most of you look for that card you want, trading is your first instinct. As of late, trading security has been a hot topic, especially in my administration. I promise to you that in the coming months, we will establish a way for the citizens of this blog to trade without fear! Ladies and gentlemen, if we don’t trade, they win. They win, and we lose everything we stand for. Don’t think I don’t feel for you, I do, and I will use my power to make it happen!

One of the main messages of my campaign was to end the vicious cycle of creating cards based on an autograph sticker spot. We need to demand a change from the powers that be. We are strong and we have the means to make sure that there is an on card auto in every set, and a swatch placed correctly on every card. No longer will we be hungry for well designed cards, as we have fought the trend and won!

Of course, it will continue to be important that you participate in the group box breaks we have from this administration. It is your duty to the 'shpere to serve your blog by helping others. It will be fun, this I promise you, and the boxes will be amazing. No longer will you watch high end videos on youtube without a stake for yourself, as you will be involved just as much as the next guy! I will also be moving for a price cut for all middle end collectors so that they will get the benefits of all the top 1 percent of everyone in the hobby. It is a tough time, and everyone needs the help.

Lastly, I want to assure you that the integrity of the blogosphere must be maintained, or we will suffer. As recent as last week, close to 100 people let me know personally that they thought blogs made a positive impact on this hobby. With that I charge you, the reader, to blog your thoughts and make this 'sphere stronger. Make your opinions known. You are the future of this great population, and I want to invest in you! When you make your blog, email my administration directly and ask to be included in our links. We will strengthen you and use our umbrella to help you get the readers you need.

Thank you very much, and God bless America!


  1. I'm standing up clapping as a proud collector.

    If only you had a hot Alaskan as your running mate!

  2. You stole my thunder.

  3. Now that's how you get elected. Don't blind 'em with the BS, just cut it! I'll be looking for the positive impacts of your Presidency in Idaho this weekend, too.

  4. Ask not, what your hobby can do for you. But what you can do for your hobby! God Bless Hobby-merica!

  5. I am so glad that I found these blog pages, as a former collector you have shown me that others feel the same its time for a change.

    I'm a collector and aprove this message

  6. You are an inspiration to us all and I proudly salute you as our Commander in Chief. You promise the real "Change" we need.

  7. You need to pick a full cabinet from all eligible bloggers...haha

  8. I've read this thing five times and I still don't know what the fuck you said.

    Damn, you *would* make a good president!