Friday, October 17, 2008

Hmmm, Fishy...

Since Mario has just busted a box of UD Ballpark Collection, I think its time you readers and I sit down and have a chat. Come sit over here, this is serious. Let me ask you straight up, ARE YOU DOING DRUGS?...

...No im just messing with you, I actually want to talk about jerseys (again) so that people understand a few things about them. For some reason, people are weirdly obsessed with multiswatch cards, and I say this because no one seems to realize that Ballpark Collection is not the way it is because UD just wanted to throw millions of jersey cards into a product (with no patches, or barely any) to make it valuable, but rather to rid their stock of unusable pieces. In fact, they had so many crap swatches, that they came out with two products this year based on this principle. The first was "A Piece Of Shitstory" and the second being this wonderful product of overjersified greatness, Ballfart Collection. Bring back memories of Artifacts 2006 and 2007?

For those of you unfamiliar with Artifacts, lets have story time with Uncle Gellman. Come children, sit on the magic red rug of truthiness for a chilling tale of deception...

UD and the Awful Artifacts Monster, by Sir Adam Gellman of Awesome City

Once upon a time, there was a company that switched from using ugly foil stickers to holographic foil stickers and finally to clear stickers. This company had a backlog of players that they couldn’t put in normal products because they were either Suckius McSuckersons or they were old and not really playing anymore. They also had hundreds upon hundreds of copies of the foil stickers (both kinds) and needed to get rid of them. In 2006, they came out with Artifacts (booo), to use up not only the stickers sitting in the warehouse, but the numerous left over jersey pieces that they had no use for in regular products.

In 2007 artifacts was released again, only this time it was worse than before. Its blackened soul was so evil, that the company knew it needed to be banished. The way they did it was to separate it into two different products with the hope they would never unite again to terrorize the hobby middle earth filled with collectors and little children. The first product was called a piece of history, filled with crappy autos and crappy ideas of card sets rejected from other sets. I mean, why else would lineup clippings out of newspapers be put in cards? Oh, that’s right, because they were SO popular in UD Black Baseball. As for Ballpark Collection, it was disguised (oooooh) into a higher end product so it could trick people that eight swatch jersey cards were cool, even though they were filled with the same pieces they were going to use for artifacts. Just to make sure that people couldn’t draw the comparison from the new products to the old one, they included button cards and other gimmicks that were in artifacts in 2005 (before it was as evil as it is today) so that people would think it was worthwhile to bust.

For now, the people are unaware that the truth is out there in forgotten photobuckets filled with Dallas McPherson autofacts, hiding to one day violate them again.


The end.


5 comments:

  1. Well, I agree with you that Upper Deck wanted to get rid of some old jersey pieces - that's why there are so many cards showing players on teams they no longer play for.

    But, it still is a very cool product. You get 12 hits for $140, including tons of future Hall of Famers. It's not like they're giving you shitty hits (except for some of the rookie auto's). Compare that to Triple Threads, which is more expensive, and only gives you 2 hits! I know you hate Triple Threads, but I'm just pointing out that Ballpark is much, much better.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Only UD product I really like is Exquisite.

    SPA has some nice cards but I can't stand all those base. SPR Threads has a few nice cards, but would never buy the product.

    Exquisite is too expensive for me so I buy singles. Conclusion is that UD can't offer me a single product I'd like to buy.

    DLP seems to have ruined Leaf Limited this year, my favorite product if I'm to break a box.

    I don't think there is a single product that I see as worth breaking, unless it's a group break.

    Either it's too expensive, especially given todays econonmy, or a too crappy of a product.

    I wont even mention Topps, Bowman, Sage or Press pass as I consider them all junk for one reason or another.

    I really hope National Treasures steps up and delivers an amazing product. It might be a bit expensive to break alone, but should be great for case group breaks.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Only UD product I really like is Exquisite.

    SPA has some nice cards but I can't stand all those base. SPR Threads has a few nice cards, but would never buy the product.

    Exquisite is too expensive for me so I buy singles. Conclusion is that UD can't offer me a single product I'd like to buy.

    DLP seems to have ruined Leaf Limited this year, my favorite product if I'm to break a box.

    I don't think there is a single product that I see as worth breaking, unless it's a group break.

    Either it's too expensive, especially given todays econonmy, or a too crappy of a product.

    I wont even mention Topps, Bowman, Sage or Press pass as I consider them all junk for one reason or another.

    I really hope National Treasures steps up and delivers an amazing product. It might be a bit expensive to break alone, but should be great for case group breaks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. upper deck has nothing anymore. They cannot put old players in products like before Ruth Mantle all propery of Topps. So they put a shit product like this out with the price tag. Notice all the celebrity items that are coming out. That's because the sports line is used up or exhausted. With products like this no wonder the hobby is dwindling.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Can't agree more Gellman. The autos I got from that case of artifacts football were dreadful save the Cutler. I am willing to give a release more leeway if I end up with bad draft autos from football or basketball, but that example baseball auto is perfect. Who the heck is he and why would they even bother or think to include him?

    Those quad and above jerseys certainly dilute the product. There is no scarcity and they are as plain as can be. If they want to impress, throw a dual or quad auto jersey in there. I fear these cards are going to be .25 bargain bin fodder in a couple years

    ReplyDelete