Rules Of The Road

Well, thanks to the Acheiver Card Blog, I have found out that there are, in fact, rules to being a dumbass in the hobby. Luckily I still had my old copy of the Idiot Conglomerate bible to dust off, so here's the "10 Commandments" from the first chapter:

1. Thou shall find a way to make everything a 1/1 - if thy card is the first printed, the last printed, numbered to the players jersey number, numbered to the college jersey number, or any other way, it is henceforth a 1/1.

2. Thou must post all thy steals on a message board - if thou gets a card for .01 cent less than normal it is a a steal.

3. Thou must make a YouTube video of every pack break and mailday - it is essential to show off all thy cards for the world to see, even if they are jerseys numbered to 1100.

4. Thou must call every hit MOJO! - Because it is a great pull even when it doesnt cover the cost of the pack.

5. Thou must break a box of Triple Threads each year it is released - It is the best product of thy fair market, support it.

6. Thou must look up every card in thy Beckett - Thy magazine is the number one source for the hobby, it must be consulted. Consider it the new testament to this old testament.

7. Thou must get exact book value in return for any card thou decides to trade - book value is there so you can make money, not lose it.

8. Thou must consult a message board before any trade is completed - This goes for fantasy sports and for sports cards. Let the people decide for you.

9. Thou must say that every detractor lives in thy mother's basement - Because they obviously do.

10. Thou must defend these principles to the death - I am thy god.

I get it now. So much clearer.