Thursday, August 14, 2008

Please Legally Change My Name To "SwearBlogger"

Chad Johnson has entered a whole new unexplored level of stupidity by taking the first few steps to change his name legally to "Chad Ocho Cinco." Im guessing this is kind of like getting a tattoo of your number on your arm, but this is a little bit more, well, visible. Personally I think he deserves a name like "Chad Awfule-TD'danzer" or "Chad MeFurst-Noe'teem" because they are more fitting, and because his parents always wanted a hyphenated last name for him. In fact, here are a few other names that may fit some of the current idiots in the past and present NFL:

Orenthal James Thaglovedontfit
Emmitt Tackelosityness
Randy Bongracer
Adam "Pacman" Strep'teezegunshot
Marvin Quieterthanasilencer
Cedric Speedtwocruzcontrol
Daunte Captainstubingboatrocker (He switched to dual citizenship with Germany too)
Ron Mexico
Brett Enduplikeunitasonchargers (His great-grandfather was ethiopian)

Back to Mr. Ocho Cinco, I think it would be legendary if someone traded him to a team that has 85 as a retired number. Justice for the stupid, then.

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