Monday, June 30, 2008

The Boob Tube

Youtube, the blogosphere where everyone is a critic and everyone's a star. Trust me, youtube is not a fun place to make enemies/be unattractive. You cant be a made for radio personality over there, because there are millions of thirteen year old assholes who wont hesitate to put "Go home faggot" on your video because they have nothing better to do.

Yet, that hasn’t stopped the card collecting community from making YouTube the home of the box break. I would say that right now, there are at least 1,000 different collectors posting daily videos of their breaks. Every product that is available (and not available for that matter) to the public has video breaks devoted to it, and that wont stop. Personally, I watch them every day. I have no money, so to live vicariously through other people's breaks is a great thing.

Of course and as expected, Beckett and the manufacturers have gotten in on the fun. Beckett breaks boxes of every product that UD, DLP and Topps send to them, but you know my feelings on that. Topps' "rip parties" could be the most annoying thing ever, but ill get to that later. UD sponsors Diamond Vision where collectors can post their breaks, ill get to that later too.

So, without further adieu, I thought I would highlight the different kind of YouTubers that the hobby has created. Ill try my best to provide examples, but mainly this is just for fun.

The Originator

Everyone on YouTube knows, or should know the Doc. Interestingly enough, he predates youtube with his breaks. He was the first one to think that it would be interesting for people to videotape people opening boxes, and most of the time, he doesn’t disappoint. His customers have become the stars of the break, mainly because of their weird tendencies and offbeat personalities. Doc has also documented some huge pulls, mainly the Oden Superfractor from Chrome basketball, the Adrian Peterson mirror black from LCM, and the 1/1 Ruth/Dimaggio cut from portraits that has been viewed over 10,000 times on the tube.

When it comes to his breaks, though, you have to be prepared for some stuff I want to mention. Now, I love the Doc, he is an incredibly nice guy and has emailed me numerous times on my stuff, but he gets the same treatment as the rest of the gang. The bad part about watching the Doc though, is that he tends to make a show out of the break. The breaks tend to be very, very long and he has become famous for making a huge deal out of minimal pulls. Personally, this isnt a bad thing for the guy doing the break as he does make them feel important for their time on camera, but it gets kind of annoying for the viewer.

Either way, he is the alpha, lets move on through to the omega.

The Straightfoward Breaker

This is the YouTuber that does exactly the opposite of what the Doc does. Its basically the pulls and nothing else. You see them open the box, you see what they get, but there is very little commentary and or excitement. I see this a lot from people who open a lot of stuff, especially high end stuff, because it is all very familiar to them. Its kind of like the hardened detective coming across a murder. Yeah, its sad and gruesome, but he has seen it millions of times before.

Chri5784 is the poster boy for the straightforward breakers on YouTube and I love watching his breaks more than any other person. He owns a shop just like the Doc and documents his customers opening their boxes. Just to show how straightforward he is, he doesn’t even show the faces of the people involved. We only know them from their voices and their style. Chris has been on a few times, mostly because he had no other choice, but for the most part its just the cards. His breaks are short and to the point and I cant stop watching.

The problem with the straighforward style is that it really isnt anything more than just the break itself. They pulled an Adrian Peterson 1/1 out of leaf limited and the guy didn’t say anything other than "That’s pretty cool." Again, it’s the style, but that can get pretty annoying. Cards, for most people, carry a lot of emotion and flare, while these guys sort of lose that. I know I would be pumped as hell to have the money to break a case of Exquisite, yet, they don’t really have any of the feelings I would expect from a collector.

The Kid Breaker

There are a lot of kids on YouTube, A LOT. They usually break low end stuff, and they try to act as old as possible, which usually means they try to be thugs. For the most part, I see them only get excited about the cards that are worth money, even discarding ones that I would expect them to like based on the teams they cheer for. That’s pretty bad when kids are doing this only to make money, as I thought that was more of an adult concern until I saw a few of the kid breakers on YouTube.

The Joke Breaker

I hate, hate, hate these videos. I mean, the guys poke fun at a lot of the right people, but its usually through some annoying gimmick. Whether it’s the guys who broke that pack of 88 topps, or the idiot who breaks high end boxes in the burger king mask, I cant stand them. Especially the Burger King guy.

Ill put this in italics because I don’t think its been discussed, and really should have its own post on here. Yet, because I am talking about him here, ill post it. Basically, this guy IS one of those thirteen year olds I talked about in the opening paragraphs. People have latched on to his breaks because of his gimmick, and his bad luck/commentary when he opens high end stuff. Its all basically "woe is me, I cant pull anything." Yeah, great, join the club fuckface. Sadly, a side of him that people don’t see, is all the horrible comments he leaves on other people's videos, including mine. In fact, I think he has even come on this blog and posted the same type of comments just to make sure I get the point. From what I have seen, he has left some of the most awful things I have ever seen on some people's videos that really didn’t deserve it, and when he decided to fuck with me, well, he gets a highlight on here. So, yeah, he is a douchebag.

Moving on...

The Mailday Guy

Hundreds upon hundreds, upon hundreds of videos are posted each day with people opening their mail. Why? I have no fucking clue. Its one thing if you are opening a package with some element of surprise, but its completely different when you use youtube to show off the cards you get off eBay. Funny enough, most of the cards arent worth the packaging they are put in. "Oh my god! My Craphonso Thorpe auto came! MOJO! YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!" (Video Posted). Give me a freaking break, people. Go post on Beckett and stop wasting my fucking time.

The Balanced Breaker

These are the guys that combine a little Doc and a little Chris. Most of the time, it works, some of the time it doesn’t. A lot of these people don’t show their faces because of people like the burger king assface, so the emotion doesn’t really fit when they try to spice it up. Its usually hands on a table with the box, and they open the box pretty fast, talking about the cards and a little about the hobby. I can tolerate these people, but again, it doesn’t always work.

The Recap Breaker

What? You have time to post the recap on camera but not the actual break? What the fuck. Another way for people just to showcase what they got like YouTube is their personal fucking photobucket. How about making a contribution to the society at large? Nope, just passing through.

The Overzealous Breaker

These guys are the worst of the breaker bunch, only because they feel the need to detail every single card they get, even the fucking base. SP Authentic breaks by these people are fucking brutal as there are 24 packs to sit through. Yup, 13 minute plus breaks. Its not uncommon for these people to look up the cards in the price guide as they break, which can be the most annoying, and joe collector like thing I have ever seen. You can be assured they have at least 75 videos per month, most of them being maildays.

The Far Away Breaker

These guys break boxes from 50 yards away. Seriously, the quality of the video is such crap that I can barely watch. There is one guy that owns a store and does it to showcase his huge fucking wall of overpriced boxes. Like I fucking care, I want to see the box you are opening. He rarely zooms in on the hit, so we are left with his barely there description.

The Foreign Breaker

"OOOO Matt Reinart!" Nuff Said.

The Manufacturer and Hobby Sponsored Breaker

Just refer to my other Beckett posts for my feelings on Beckett's breaks.

For the others, there are people that are sponsored by certain card companies, and those guy's only goals are to promote the company that sponsors them. What really sucks is that the one guy that is sponsored by DLP is a former pack searcher. Not to mention the fact that his breaks are so mind numbingly stupid that I want to punch him in the nuts so he cant make copies of himself.

As for Topps, we have had numerous posts about the rip party. The guy, Alan Nars is a loud and obnoxious host, and they cut angles so much that I get nautious. Its rarely about the cards and its more about the spectacle. Ill pass.

When it comes to UD diamond vision, they have the ability to use this medium as a promotional tool rather than sending boxes to Beckett. Because most collectors are all about being featured on or in beckett and love seeing themselves as many places as possible, this has been pretty successful. If only they would stop with Beckett.


Well, that’s all I can think of for now, Ill continue to add videos to this list as proof. Its kind of tough from work, so it will probably be later. Regardless, YouTube is probably more of a good thing than I make it out to be. Lets just hope there are more smart people that start up than dumb ones. I know, I know, it’s a pipe dream.


  1. Wow, I know the problem! You watch way too much YouTube. Seriously,'s become the pit of the Internet since 2006 when the lawyers ruined the site. Before then I could watch 100's of episodes of old tv shows and music videos now it's about Chris Cocker and "Leave Britney Alone".


  2. Leave Gellman alone! :sobs: I'm serious!

    *puts bullet in self*

  3. I don't watch video breaks in general, usually the camera work is mediocre.

    I live vicariously through people who break as well.

    One nitpick, I don't think it's fair to trash the foreign breakers. This hobby is for everyone, not just people in North America. Not everyone is expected to speak English fluently, hell most Americans don't even have the motivation to learn a second language.

  4. Yeah, the foreign breakers thing was my lame attempt at humor. I watch all their videos. Dont worry, I dont hate like that.

    If they go, "OOOO Matt Reinart MOJO!", then yes, I would hate as normal.

  5. Kid breakers are the worst followed closely by beckett and ripparty.

    If there is a hell, they are showing their videos there 24/7.

  6. I don't post breaks on You Tube but I would probably come into the, 'Overzealous Breaker' category if I did! I don't go quite as far as looking in a price guide when I open a box, but I do spend a long time looking at all the card's, relating them to the actual sport and how things are going on the Gridiron, Diamond etc! I have to say though, that You Tube can be good when deciding on a box to purchase.

  7. Dude,
    you have no idea how much i agree with you. Chri### is so annoying cuz i think a card is good, and he has no reaction. Although his vid skills are great.

    But the doc guy is good. havent found many of his vids though.


    PS just opened up my own blogger. check it out if you have the time.