Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Skol is NOT A Type of Tobacco

To love something unconditionally is pretty tough, especially when it’s a Minnesota sports franchise. When it’s the Minnesota Vikings, you are better off just ripping out your own heart and handing it to a Packer fan. I remember back in 1998, sitting in the Dome in a very uncomfortable chair, watching the Vikings rumble to what seemed like their first Super Bowl in decades. Thirty minutes later, you could hear a pin drop as they missed the field goal to seal it, and im sure my heart sinking made a pretty audible sound as well. Alas, this is my plight as a member of the Purple Pride Brigade.

The good thing is, now we have something to look forward to for the first season in about five. All Day is coming off a hugemungous year, T-Jack has another year under his belt, the Williams wall is still standing tall, and most of all we have the new NFC roughneck in Jared Allen. Its looking good in a Favre-less NFC north, and I think we have a shot.

For collectors this year is also pretty huge, mainly because you have five billion people who want their All Day investments to skyrocket so they can sell them to homers like me. Its also a make or break year for people sitting on Tarvaris, and Sidney Rice collectors are secretly gathering for what they call "the coming of the light," or some shit like that. Me? Count me in for all three, though secret cults are not my thing. Here are my predictions for 2008 - Minnesota Fucking Vikings style.

Record: 10-6
Place finish: Tied 1st

Lets face it, in a division dominated by the green and gold parade for as long as I can remember, its good Fav-rah is gone. Very good. The Lions did crap to help themselves, and Chicago still is counting on Gross Rex and Kyle Orton (laughable - I would be pissed!). I think, due to this fact, Vikings fans can take solace in the amped up defense and returning offense. Our biggest loss could pose some problems, but ill get to that later.

All Day: Okay?


When it comes to Adrian Peterson, I am a follower of the Purple Jesus. The man is a straight beast and is poised to have an even bigger season than last. The problem is that he wont. Not even close. Put your money on Marshawn Lynch, because this Viking ship is going down for collectors… for now. Peterson, like the majority of the games in the second half last year, will consistently face 8-9 in the box every down we are expected to run (8 when we arent expected). Due to lack of creativity that the 80's and 90's lions had with Barry Sanders, Childress will let this ship sink and not even think twice, mainly because he sucks my left ball when it comes to coaching. The second huge problem deals with the Vikings' biggest loss: Tony Richardson. Without him, I hope they can still have the same success due to the line from hell, but we shall see. In all reality, All Day's season success hinges on the success of two men: Bernard Berrian and good ole Sid Rice. If they get open and catch some balls, teams will no longer be able to stack the box. Every one wins because his cards regain some of their value and Sid Rice's cards come in to their own.

Ive said it before that T-Jack should be able to get Rice the ball. It shouldn’t be a problem, but as a Vikings fan, I know it will be. The good thing about this season is we should only have to put up 21 points to win consistently. Another QB note - one guy I would probably hold off on besides Jackson is Booty-call. As a fifth rounder, they dont have much invested in him and he will probably ride the bench the whole year as a third stringer. I wouldnt invest because next year the first round pick may be a QB if things dont work out. If he was a third rounder or higher, I would rewrite my tune.

Best investment: Sidney Rice
Worst investment: Adrian Peterson (Fuck all you people who raised his prices for me!)
Possible Big Hit: Bernard Berrian
Still NO: Tarvaris Jackson

Defensive No-Show

This is the only Williams Auto I have seen.

Personally, I wish Kevin Williams had more cards. Especially autos. But, like Allen and most D-Linemen, they don’t. With that, I cant even tell you to invest, just because there isnt anything out there. The one thing I hope happens this year is that Antoine Winfield finally makes a pro-bowl. He deserves it. But, even without a pro-bowl year from the strong side monster, the defense is much improved, and they should help make the offense look like the Bears of 2005. The difference is that OUR offense actually has a few impact players.

The Stone Cold Bottom Line

Basically, the Vikings should be on their way to the playoffs. Thats all that matters. If we cant get there this year, we seriously need to re-evaluate a few things.

No comments:

Post a Comment