Saturday, December 26, 2009

How Not To Do A Cut Autograph

For some reason, over the last year, cut autographs have gone from awesome pull to fucking ridiculous pieces of shit. When I mean fucking ridiculous pieces of shit, I mean that some of them dont break five dollars. Its not necessarily due to lack of rarity, but that is definitely a factor. I think its just as much a testament to the awful and disgusting designs that have overtaken the cut auto market.


This is a cut auto out Panini's recent release of 2009 Limited. In previous years, Limited cuts have looked like this, this and even this. Not necessarily that bad, right? Then we have this:

No more picture, looks like a soccer ball, done for the sake of doing it. At least there is a team logo and the colors are based on the team's. Since Panini puts fucking rainbow foil on everything, this card was not spared, and good lord is it bad. Unfortunately, this is the best of recent cards, and yes, it gets worse.


Upper Deck is usually thought of as the innovator and perfector of the cut auto. Their Legendary Cuts baseball product has always been a collector favorite. Recently in UD Black, all of that history went out the window so quickly that my head spun as I was projectile vomiting. Now, with newly painted walls, feast your eyes on this abomination:

No picture, odd looking hand numbering, and a weirdly shaped window that does nothing to help the cause. Just awful. For a set that looked as good as black did, there is no reason to include cards like this. I think this is the quintessential card to show that companies are now using cuts as a way to lure collectors in while delivering very little. Sad.

Fucking Horrid

Triple Threads is one of my least favorite products of all time, without question. However, even I could not believe my eyes when I saw this next card. It takes the whole cut autograph concept and just sets it aflame. Its so bad that you may want to take any children out of the room before continuing.

I dont know where to start. First off, the card is printed on bright blue neon foil. Im sure Vince Lombardi would have been proud. Second, those "relics" are from seats of the old Packers' stadium, and I am not sure why this card even needed "relics" in the first place. Fucking stupid. Lastly, we have the crown jewel, the cut itself, and I cant even find a way in my mind to get the card the way it turned out. Obviously this is a check, but they mangled it so badly that you cant even call this his autograph anymore.

Seriously, if this is what we are forced to endure with cuts over the next few years, I want them gone. This has gotten to a point of parody, and I am not pleased that this is the direction things are headed. At least pay the money to put a picture on there, make the cards rarer, and dont use them in every fucking set. All three companies are such horrible offenders of this crime, that hopefully there is still time to make it back to the way things used to be. Wow.


  1. HA!
    How do you really feel ? Love the brutal honesty- it is interesting to see how aesthetics affect the value/interest of a card.


  2. I'll leave the design issues alone, but the card companies need to forget about cut signature cards if they can't produce them without mutilating the actual autograph.

  3. Wow, you would think a lombardi cut would be a great center piece to your collection anyones collection? Wrong!, If I ever pulled this card ( which i wouldn't ) It would immediatly be on ebay or something its a FN abomanation! ( what level of Dante's inferno does the person who created this card go to is what I want to know? Yes harsh but WTF!) And that's putting it lightly this is not only horrid it's actually sad! I'm beyond words for this one! I'm gonna throw up now. Where in the hell is this hobby going anymore? I'm trying to see the light here but it's fading fast with every post of this crap, Grant

  4. I don't know why they can't just do redemptions for the entire document of the auto. The "cut" of the auto is terrible. The entire document in a nice frame would be a redemption that I'd be willing to wait for.

    Oh, but then they couldn't put the companies' logos all over them.

  5. You should check out the Iconic Cuts from 2009 UD Football. I pulled one and I just stared at it. I didn't know what to think. I had to look the person up because the card had zero information on Frank Gatski. It turns out that he passed away a few years ago. How did he sign this card I wonder?

  6. The design of all 3 cut cards looks terrible, but it has nothing to do with a lack of a photo of the person on it. I have never understood the need some people have for auto/jersey/cut cards to have a big photo of the person on the card. Why? Do you need someone to look at while you are jerking off over the card?

  7. check this one out gellman!

    ebay item # 230409236061

    the worst I have ever seen