Sunday, October 18, 2009

Another Squeaker Gives The Vikings a 6-0 Record

Another game that left me standing in front of my TV with hands clasped in prayer. For the second time this season, the football gods smiled upon the Vikings, giving them another victory to add to their resume. Despite the win and beign considerably impressed with Joseph Fucking Flacco and Raymond Ridiculous Rice, I was as disappointed with the Vikings defense. They should have won this game by a lot more than they did, but instead came away with a victory they didnt deserve.

Brett Favre

I am beyond fucking sick of listening to the announcers talk about Brett Favre. I can only imagine how Yankee fans feel about TBS/everyones coverage of Derek Jeter for the last 40 years. Its just fucking annoying to hear them give dick ass platitudes about how much fun he is having, rather than actually talking about interesting parts of an awesome game. Favre did play well again, but this game was not about him. Of course that didnt stop Dan Dierdorf from giving him a relative verbal ass fucking of wonderful tidbits. Shut up.

Adrian Peterson

Glad to see Peterson get a good game under his belt again after failing to break the 100 yard mark for the previous four games. He played in typical AD fashion, grinding out close to 150 yards on the ground against a defense that is known for being rough and tumble. The problem was that he may have sustained an ankle injury that could get worse as the week moves on towards the game at Pittsburgh.

Ray Rice

Ray Rice looked like Adrian Peterson today. He was the bane of the Vikings D the whole game, and just had a ridiculous performance. 2 TDs on the ground, and 10 receptions for 100+ in the air. Unbelievable. I never really put that much faith in Rice after the first half, as he was practically unheard from. I feel bad for the AFC East having to play against him and Flacco together for the next decade, as they are going to be GREAT.

Joe Flacco

This was Flacco's day, even though the announcers had brown tongues from licking Favre's ass. Flacco tore apart a Vikings secondary in the second half, just making Cedric Griffin and Karl Paymah look foolish. Granted, he didnt have to deal with Winfield all day, but he still looked like he was the next golden dick for the announcers to suck.

CBS Football

If I never watch another game on CBS, it would be too soon. Everything about the whole game was horrible. Greg Gumble is annoying, Dierdorf was a gargantuan mouth breathing idiot, and the stuff they talked about made me mute the volume at more than one point. When I saw that CBS was doing the Super Bowl this year, a little part of me died. Seriously, CBS football fucking blows.

Percy Harvin

He looked bad on that injury, makes me worried for him. I am crossing my fingers that it isnt a separated shoulder. That would be BAD.

Antoine Winfield and Benny Sapp

For the ENTIRE fucking game, the announcers failed to tell us why Karl Paymah was playing corner. Not one fucking peep. Winfield actually had turf toe that kept him out of the game, and Sapp had a concussion on the opening kick off. Im sure Griffin shit his pants when he saw he would be the guy, especially with ass fuck Madieu Williams and his flailing arm tackles playing behind him. I guarantee that the Vikings go after a corner in the next draft, because, holy fuck, they need one after seeing the poor play. Griffin was never very good, and their safeties are looking VERY vulnerable. Im dreading next week, because if Winfield doesnt play, the Steelers could put up 60 points. Its that urgent.

Sidney Rice

I love Sidney Rice. What a fucking baller, right? The guy just makes play after play, and may be soon replacing Berrian at the one spot. On top of all of his ridiculous catches, Favre loves him, which means he should continue to have a great season.

Visanthe Shiancoe

Im actually shocked how poorly I talked about him last year, because he is playing like a TE god. Another great game, another Vikings win. Love the way he does what he does. What do you have to say about him Dan Dierdorf? "Shiancoe is just a big target. Favre is just having a ton of fun and is having a fun time throwing to this fun guy. I wish I were out there having fun, too."

I know it seems like I am talking about a loss here, and thats because it should have ended that way. To have a defensive collapse like that is beyond frustrating. They need to pick up their shit or they are going to get killed. Bottom line.


  1. Ironically, the 24-hour news cycle has put us in the Dark Ages of news coverage in general. Sports coverage is particularly bad, being a mix of clichés and trivia. You'd think that, with an infinite amount of info at their disposal, sports announcers would have tons of stuff to contribute to the games they are paid to cover. Sadly...this is what we get. I feel that way about everyone associated with Fox's baseball broadcasts.

  2. Yeah, but can you believe how much fun Favre is having out there as a 40-year old player? Oh, it is unbelievable. Seriously, how many times can one person say Favre in one game, let alone suck up to him when he's doing well and make excuses when h is sucking. Lucky for me, I had stolen a few air sickness bags from my last plane ride.

  3. As a Ravens fan, this is the 3rd game in a row of this nature we have come out on the short end of. I thought it was over in the 3rd quarter, when the Viking went up by 17, and was elated when the Ravens came back and went up by 1. If it weren't for fucking Haushka, you'd be weeping right now!

    You think Stover would have made that kick?

  4. Why do you feel bad for the AFC East for having to play Flacco and Rice for the next decade? The AFC North teams are the ones I feel sorry for as they have to play them 2 a year for the next decade.

  5. Do not feel sorry for my Steelers. Not worried about those 2 at all. They need to be worried about Big Ben that has whiped their ass since he has come in the league(will be aournd for that decade) See the purple people eaters next week ;).