Monday, July 7, 2008

Joe Collectors Need To Post Their "Steals" Or They May Explode

This morning, a Joe Collector rolled out of bed and sat down in front of his computer. I say it was morning because 11:59 am is still technically morning. Immediately he pulls up his home page, the Idiot Bomb Message Boards, or as he calls it, "the kewlest place on teh Earth," and starts his day. After looking through the new threads and posting "nice MOJO!!!!!!" on the 50 mailday posts that litter the front page of the forum, he goes to eBay.

He looks through the different auctions of his favorite players, and eventually finds a card that he can get at "1/12 of its BV of 105 dollars." He shakes in anticipation as he hits the BIN on the card. OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, he thinks to himself.

As he takes the scan from the auction, he puts it into his photobucket and pulls up the ready and waiting message boards for his monumental post. He scours the threads and makes sure that the other 10 people who have posted their steals for the day dont have the same sick MOJO that he does. One other Coe Jollector has posted his steal of a 50 dollar BV jersey card that he got for 1.99, so the JC decides he has to wait until he can have the thunder all to himself.

Later that night, after posting 5 threads about whether or not he should go through with various trades, he posts!

The result? This, This, and This.

A guy posting about a fucking Clinton Portis college jersey card out of SAGE HIT that he got for five bucks. Are you fucking kidding me? This cock knocker (thanks reader Jeff) has actually taken the time to hash out this post with the idea that people are going to give him praise for finding a card that normally wouldnt break 7 dollars(and even that is too much money for this POS card). The other guys are just examples of JCs being the Baron Von Assmasters (thanks reader Aaron) that they are.

What's even funnier is that people humor this fucktard (thanks reader Collin) with praise and adjulation. This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I cant stand these fucking fucksticks (thanks reader Ryan).

10 comments:

  1. I have to say, if you purchase any card off eBay it's a "steal" because it's going for market value as opposed to BV. If BV in any way shape or form matched real market value, "steals" would never happen.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That Lenny Moore card = steal of my life! lol!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hate to tell you Gellman, but those are some nice cards for not a lot of cash. Regardless of what the book says, I would be happy to get any of those cards at those prices. If it was a steal to the collector, then it was a steal. I thought I got a steal when I paid $11 for a patch/auto of Omar Jacobs numbered to 15 because I got it for under my max bid and it goes into my OJ PC beautifully. An eBay steal doesn't always mean you got it under BV. The only one of the three who mentioned BV was the guy with the Portis.

    ReplyDelete
  4. dude, you crack me up! Another classic.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I tend to stay away from those boards due to the liberal, almost reckless, overuse of emoticons. It makes me uncomfortable.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Harner, the point of this was two fold. A) that the clinton portis jersey guy was an idiot. B) That posting your "steals" is as stupid as trying to outrun a radid cheetah. So calm down.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Whoa, there, I am calm. I'm not saying you're wrong for posting what you did, I just disagree. You're telling me that you've never shown off a card before whether it be a steal or not?

    Also, if you hate Beckett so much, why do you peruse their message boards?

    ReplyDelete
  8. I peruse them for entertainment purposes and because its fun to look at the JCs like animals in a zoo. "Ha, nice little monkey, he so cute and stupid."

    ReplyDelete
  9. But...but...he's a MASTER SET COLLECTOR - he's going for an insane set that has all the parallels and inserts, SURELY that has to be a monumental achievement, I mean making a Master Set of trading cards is such a big deal and a major life accomplishment.

    You know like getting your Doctorate in Rocket Science or Neuro-Brain-Surgery.

    /sarcasm

    ReplyDelete
  10. So, what's SCU's opinion on Collector's Universe forum?

    ReplyDelete