Friday, April 11, 2008

The Shirt Off My Back - Or Is It?

It all started in 1996 when Upper Deck put the first jersey card in their baseball set. You had your pick of HOF bound Rey Ordonez, some guy named Ken Griffey Jr, and 1 or two others. It was quite the easy pull at one per eleventy billion boxes, so naturally, they were a huge freaking deal.

The baseball ones were so tough to find, I have to use a hockey one!

These days we have everything to clothing relics to old nappy hair relics - and yet people still say we have "come a long way." Bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit! These days its not better, its fucking out of control. They have even gone so far as to create a whole event where all the future nobodies of the NFL and NBA can run, jump, and play in full uniform, JUST so the card companies can get relics for their rookie jersey and auto cards. That, my friends, is fucking ridiculosity in full bloom. What's even funnier is that people drop a deuce (both literally and figuratively) for a Peterson exquisite, and its not even game fucking used! I want my jersey cards to come from real shit. Bled on, spit on, played in, sweat on - REAL game used crap. Not some jersey that All Day threw on for two measley seconds in San Diego on a bright and sunny day. Fuck that!

WARNING: Object in picture is not as real as it appears...

I havent spent a penny on rookie jersey cards that dont have an auto on them. What's the god damned point? Its not like the jersey in the cards means anything - if it is even player touched at all!

Great article on this exact point - THANK YOU WHEELER!

Which brings me to another point, can someone elighten my ignorant ass as to where these card companies get bat after bat and jersey after jersey for all the old timey guys? Its not like the Babe and Gherig set aside jerseys frequently for the companies to have! I know UD has a lot of freaking money from all their scams, but seriously its not like there is an unlimited supply! I know Topps has already been forced to use jerseys from an old timer's game and some clothing relics for Mantle, but each year we get more and more Ruth, Dimaggio, and Gherig cards with no hint of slowing down. Anyone else getting a faint whiff of bullshit here?

Wow, what a beaut. Hopefully the Babe has some more great ones lying around his house.

I know that I wouldnt put it past those douchebags to pull this over on us, but seriously, that would be huge shit. I think the collectors would shit a collective brick if they found out what was really going on. I already question UD because they took the guarantee off the back of their newer jersey cards. Who knows if my sick Kurt Rambis patch card was actually worn by my favorite schmuckface Dan Majerle? Who knows if it was worn in a game or to an autograph signing? There are no more sure things any more, and that grinds my gears to nubs.


  1. Jersey cards are stupid, stupid, stupid.

  2. I dont necessarily think they are stupid, but some of them are mind numbingly retarded.

  3. Shout out to Wheeler again for letting me in on that story from a few years ago. I had seen it before but didnt know where to find it. Thank you!