If You Do Something Like This, You Might Be A Beckett...

(Thanks to Mario for the story)

Yes, I know this is a box of Press Poop, and yes I know it is a box of Nascar cards, but I think it bears mention on here for a few reasons. So, in true redneck fashion:

- If you have to justify why you might be getting a good box at the BEGINNING of the break, you might be a Beckett.

- Despite said disclaimer, if you mention that your box was hand delivered by the president or brand manager of a company, you might be a Beckett.

- If you have to tell the viewers of your video that the company told you it may be a hot box, due to some bullshit excuse, and you STILL bust it like nothing is wrong, you might be a Beckett.

- If you consistently get more hits or better hits than you are supposed to get, you might be a Beckett.

- If your loaded boxes are always free and you deprive paying customers of hits they should be getting, you might be a Beckett.

- If you still think you havent pissed anyone off with your stupid fucking videos due to an arrogant attitude and a backwards sense of entitlement, you might be a Beckett.

- If you have to be told by your subordinant to shut the fuck up on more than one occasion during the video, because what you say is an embarassment, your name is Tracy Hackler and you are a douchebag (also a Beckett).

Man, I cant believe they are still posting videos as bad as this one, despite the fact that they have to explain why they get better hits than everyone else. Wow, what a bunch of arrogant wankers. I cant tell you how happy I will be when the company folds like a lawn chair (and it will).

My Hatred For Beckett Rivals My Hatred For Keenan Thompson's Characters On SNL

Over the last few weeks, Beckett has been trying to promote their give away of another card that most people would consider a pretty awesome pull. Right now, they want you to write a review or say something about the economy, some shit like that, and you will have the chance to win a low numbered Adrian Peterson Score Select rookie auto. Now, its not the DiMaggio cut they pulled, but it begs a really important question. I know Donruss, Topps, and Upper Deck still sends them free boxes to bust, though I know UD has either stopped this practice or told them not to do it publicly - which makes me wonder, what kind of shit do they have piled up back in their "vault?"

Really people, why are we standing around and letting this happen? Rotting animal dung like this should not be receiving anything, let alone free product. I have laid off this topic for a while, but I am gathering my rage all over again. Not only does this distort the product odds, but it also takes big hits out of circulation and gives them to people who dont deserve them.

I recently found out that some product giveaways are absolute necessities (like the boxes that go to the NFL to use their license), but giving shit to beckett is far from a necessity now. We still havent forgotten the awful events that happened last year, and I wont stand for this fucking awful practices. Maybe, just maybe, if the people in charge over there weren't fucking bastardized sewer rats, I would go about this in a much nicer way. Yet, every single time an issue like this is brought up, they treat us like fucking children with their stupid articles about how much people love them.

In fact, fucking Hackler still stands by the assertion that only "a few people" dont like the practices Beckett employs, and I encourage you guys to take a stand, because I know that he is A) A fucking bad guesser when estimating the number of people who think this way, B) Detached from the hobby entirely, C) a conceded dick with delusions of grandeur, and D) A person worthy of ritual torture by the Inagua tribe of Northern Zimbabwe (ouch!). Free stuff should not dilute the hatred and rage you develop. Bribes will not work. Fight the power.

Link to my anti-Beckett manifesto

Topps Dooms Us To 14 Full Minutes Of Complete and Utter Shame

Douching Instructional Video from The Hobby's #1 Authority On Douchebaggery on Vimeo.

Someone tell me what they pulled, I fell asleep at minute 6.

Other than that, is anyone else laughing that Beckett got sent a Hobby box instead of the HTA? Its like Topps either wanted us to suffer through this "break" (or wanted them to suffer through it from the looks of it). Good job you wholly intelligent marketing reps!

Oh, and can someone call these brats' parents and tell them to clean up? I bet their rooms are just as bad as the mess they made here.

Also, after watching video after video after video of this shit, Im suprised that more people arent pissed that these idiots handle the cards the way they do. Listen, we know they are free, but that doesnt mean you need to beat the fuck out of them, im sure the kids who go to day care with Hackler would probably like them.