Matt LaPorta Is My Worst Nightmare

Im kinda sick right now, I think I just inherited all the Cheeseburgers that the Captain left behind in the American League when he was traded to the Brewers for Matt "Babies Are a Snack For Me" LaPorta. Personally, I cant understand why you do this trade if you are the Brewers unless you have the money somewhere to sign him. He is going to cost 100 mil plus, so you better start getting out the checkbooks. Basically, you have traded your future OF bomber for half a year of a guy that hasnt been ALL THAT GOOD for the first half of the season. The Captain has shown flashes of his Cy year, but he has also cemented his status as a BIG FAT BABY as well. Plus, he may pull a "Johan" and not adjust well to National League style of play.

EDIT: Johan is still the man, I made a stat lookup mistake on the Mets' website. My bad.



On the other side of the trade you have Matt LaPorta, who in all seriousness will be much better than Corey Hart, but will still take a few years of polish before he can start. Ryan Braun is your Left Fielder for the next hundred years, so you have to put him in right or in center. He isnt much of a center type of guy, so I would say they wouldnt have groomed him that way. LaPorta has a huge-mongous bat and has clobbered AA pitching at a .286/20HR/66RBI clip. For a second year guy, thats huge(mongous).

Sidenote: As Cleveland has a GLARING hole at LaPorta's position, I have a feeling this guy will be a Magglio in the Twins' side. Or at the very least, a Casey Blake. I can only fathom how many moonshots he will hit in the Dome or whatever the new park will be called.

Now, here is the situation that I may do this trade:

It is a day before the deadline and you are a first place team ahead by 5 or less games, and you know the team behind you has a lot of fire power to close that ground. You know that if you can get good pitching (the key to championships) you will be able to hold and extend your lead. You sacrifice your top prospect, but you make the playoffs instead. You will get 5 draft picks in the first 35 if Sabathia and Sheets walk at the end of the year, though most likely they will be Yankees or Red Sox picks in the lower half of the first round.

See, thats the thing, I dont see the Brewcrew making it to the playoffs ahead of the Cubs, Cardinals, Rockies, etc. etc. Can you imagine what will happen though if they indeed dont make it? Chaos, as they have traded away a God for some cheeseburgers.

Card wise, I see a huge jump for LaPorta's stuff as the JCs will no doubt fight it out over his shit now that he has garnered national attention. I mean, his sick MOJO CARDZ must be awesome if the tribe was willing to give up the captain for him...

CC has never sold well, mainly because he is a BFB, but also because he has only had one amazing year. Look at Johan Santana, his cards sell for bunk because he is(was) a small market guy with a team that never did anything (other than win 3 straight division titles and 2 Cy youngs). Plus, as I always say, chicks (and Joe Collectors) dig the long ball, and pitchers dont hit home runs.

You ever get that feeling?

So last year I was going through my possible rosters for fantasy baseball and I saw this guy named Ryan Braun (MIL) listed pretty far down on the projected rankings. Now, I knew from reading prospecting posts on the message boards that he was a top guy for the Brew Crew, but most of us were still thinking Fielder was going to be the man. I remember thinking that despite the monsterous hype around Fielder's power and potentential, Braun was going to be someone that makes the pitcher's hair on the back of his neck stand up.

Ryan realizes he forgot to blow on the ball for good luck... oh well.

Now, let me tell you, I am not a prospector in any way. I dont usually buy into something until it hits the big time - just like many Joe Collectors that are out there. Yet for some reason, I thought this was a guy to jump on. Of course, as a top pick, his stuff wasnt cheap out of 05 Chrome, but it was still a helluva lot cheaper than it is now.

We know the story from there. Out of left field (or third base in his case) he puts together a huge-mungous season and is named ROY ahead of a lot of top candidates. His stuff skyrockets, as it usually does, and we are all left with our feelings of shoulda coulda woulda.

After watching him play a few days ago on my brand spanking new HD LCD, I must say the guy looks pretty fucking amazing. I saw him golf a bomb off of the dirt that I thought was only possible if your name was Vlad, Vladimir, or Vladdy.

So, next time you get that "feeling," remember to invest in it a little. I had the 50 bucks to spend at the time, but I didnt even think twice. Kinda makes me like I missed out on a lot. Well, now I gotta pray that my stash of Matt LaPorta pajamas will pay off.