Manufacturing Letters Doesnt Make You Cool

Listen, if you want to release a product with game used autographed letter patches, more power to you, I will support you. If you want to release a product with manufactured autographed letter patches, more power to you, I will support you. If you want to release a product with Manufactured letters that are not autographed, I will not support you, and I will probably make fun of it. If you are going to release a product with manfuactured letter patches and sticker autographs on those letters, I will laugh at you, make fun of you, and trash your set for years to come. If you comprise THE WHOLE FUCKING PRODUCT on this premise, you deserve to be ritually killed by the amodasac tribe of northern Zimbabwe.

To tell you the truth, I don’t really mind letter patches as long as they are game used, autographed, or both. The autograph is all that matters to me on manufactured letter patches. I think its stupid when they spell out weird shit, so lets try to keep it to last, and at the maximum, first names. Then I don’t have to wonder if my "F" letter from my Frank Gore letter set is for "Frank" or if its from "Fuck Me This Is Ridiculous."

In fact, I think its pretty cool when you get a nice autographed letter patch from SPA of a good player. The 49ers letters, the Lions letters, all the other three color namplate teams are really nice pieces to display. However, teams like the Vikings, the Chargers, and the Cowboys tend to be kind of boring. Still this is still very nice to display, and I am crossing my fingers for a Peterson set this year.

Personally I think these letters are nice because of their display potential. On the other hand, it is not cool if you go on ebay to spell out your username in picures, especially if you have some stupid players that help you to do it. It is pure idiocy at work that you actually took the time to put that banner together. If you go and buy the letters that spell out your user name, you have taken it to the next level of dumbassery. It does not make you look cool.

Lastly, I want to address Topps Letterman Football, and more importantly, Topps in general:

Dear Topps,

You suck. Your stickers suck. Your lame attempts at letter patches suck. It was especially sucky that you decided to combine the two. Also, it was the lamest of the lame for you to make letter sets for the presidential candidates, they don’t belong in a card set other than allen and ginter. Stop trying to do gimmicks to sell your products and start putting together good products instead. Plus, if I have to endure another fucking foldout idea, I will stab you in the liver with a dulled steak knife. You may be asking what a good product consists of. Well it means on card sigs, or AT LEAST clear stickers with no "TOPPS CERTIFIED" wording on them, and no more recessed auto windows. Those are fucking ugly. In fact, no more auto windows at all, lets just focus on making the cards pretty. Yes, that would be nice.

Sincerely,
Gellman