Thursday, July 31, 2008

Your Guide To eBay 1/1s

Most of the time, I love looking at auctions on TWGM because its obvious to me that people are generally dumb about everything. There is only a privileged portion of people who know their ass from a hole in the ground in this hobby, and it shows on a cosmic level with most of these auctions. Regardless of stupidity and scams, the funniest thing to me is 1/1s on eBay. I get some good testicle shaking laughs looking at some of the crap people come up with. So, I thought I would put together a guide and let you guys in on a little secret…

Things That Are Not 1/1s But Are Listed As Such

Jersey Numbered Cards - I fucking hate this ultimate level of idiotic brain farting. Why the idiot conglomerate pays EXTRA for this absolute scam is beyond me. I don’t understand why a Jordan auto 3 color patch 22/25 is worth less than the same Jordan auto 1 color patch 23/25. That is fucking absurd. I would take the first any day of the week. ANY FUCKING DAY. Yet, stupid people do stupid things and the second "1/1" carries up to a 100$ premium.

College Jersey Numbered Cards - See above, but add a whole separate level of brainlessness.

First In A Print Run - Just because the card was the first card serial numbered, does not mean shit. It is not necessarily the first off the press and it always makes me wonder how this shit got started. One day some guy pulls a card that is worth nothing, but needs money. He sees that it is numbered 1/1599, so he lists it as a 1/1, because it is obviously the first one printed! Well fuck me.

Last In A Print Run - Same thing, same stupid concept. Serial numbers should not drive a price.

Cards With Great Patches Or Other Defining Features - These are ALWAYS listed as 1/1s because "there is no way any other card could have this patch!" However, that would also make every card a 1/1 for the same stupid reason. These cards carry a high premium, despite the number of fakes out there, and that is understandable. It is not understandable why they are considered 1/1s. Error cards or printing mistake cards are the same thing. Just because they printed a card with Jeter's picture but Angel Berroa's stats does not mean that it is the holy grail of cards. No reason to put a $1500 BIN on it.

Graded Cards With A Low Population Report - Who fucking cares if your card is graded in the first place. Grading sucks. On that note, why the fuck should people care if a card is the "only 9.5 out there!!"? In all reality, it’s the only 9.5 that has been submitted. There probably are others out there, but those people are too smart to use this ridiculous service, or they cant afford it. The premium for the 9.5 on a condition sensitive card is the reason you are selling - it is most definitely not a 1/1.

Things That Have a 1/1 Serial Number, But Are Not Really 1/1s

Anything from Topps Moments and Milestones - The 1/1s in this set are actually like 1/250 because of the crap set this is. These are not 1/1s. It is just a handjob in a box for the idiots who wait the majority of their lives to pull one of the chase cards of the industry. Instead of pulling a significant card, you get a 1/1 that is one per two boxes. Wow, really rare! ANNNNNND it’s the only one in existence!!!!! MOJO!!!! Ugh.

Anything from Topps Triple Threads - There is no reason for this set to have eleventy billion 1/1s other than to market to the zombies who think they are actually 1/1s instead of 1/1500. What crap.

Printing Plates - I have no idea why people pay for these pieces of crap, especially if they arent auto'ed. Again, not 1/1s, but really 1/4 at the lowest considering that you need that many plates to print a card. Plus, Im not convinced one single bit that these pieces of scrap metal from the manufacturers are actually used in printing. Its almost like they actually create these for the sets. Right Mr Triple Threads Brand Manager guy?

Parallel Base Cards With No Distinguishing Features - Again, more like 1/10000, but they slap a serial number on it and people piss themselves when they pull it.

Lets hope that in the future, eBay actually enforces their keyword spamming policies and saves me the time of sorting through these ridiculous displays of human waste. Of course, if they do that, it wont stop them from still showing up every other fucking place in this hobby. Im beginning to think that of all the hobbies in existence, collectibles is filled with the highest percentage of idiots.

9 comments:

  1. You forgot about the dirt common base cards that are hand stamped with some logo and then repackaged as aftermarket 1/1s. I've seen a few of those in my time.

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  2. I've always told my wife that I married her because, "she could always make my testicles shake...sorry, I mean, make me laugh."

    Glad to see someone else sees the correlation and confuses the two.

    Gellman, not that I'm doubting because I've always thought the same thing about "duplicate" printing plates being promoted as the originals, but have you ever found any kind of proof/conspiracy theory on the net about this?

    I've never researched it but now I think I might...

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  3. I dont think there are duplicates that are out there, I just dont think the ones you pull in packs are the actual printing plates.

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  4. Not that it would matter, they still are ugly stupid cards with no real collecting worth in my opinion.

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  5. Lets hope that in the future, eBay actually enforces their keyword spamming policies and saves me the time of sorting through these ridiculous displays of human waste.

    Amen!

    Wow, first time for everything I guess.

    PS-I deleted the "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" at the end of my amen just for SCU.

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  6. No that's what I mean. Duplicates was the wrong word for me to use.

    I think they have the actual printing plates used to make the cards and they produce only one more 1/1 set to insert in the packs.

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  7. hahah This is one of those idiots that post 1/1 on everything it seems.
    http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQfrtsZ50QQsassZwolverine24

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  8. JV asked about proof of multiple printing plates. So far I have 6 printing plates from 2008 moments and milestones for card #122 Jeff Kent. I have 2 Black, both labelled one of one, Cyan, Magenta and 2 Yellow !!!!!
    I phoned Topps and their reaction was "stuff" happens!!!!!!!!
    I phoned Beckett and the guy on the phone seemed interested that I am holding multiple printing plates of the same card. He gave me an address to email, but after a week wait I have heard nothing from Beckett either.
    Anyone have any ideas or comments??

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  9. I purchased a triple threads triple combo relic card of big ben, chad henne, and 1 other nut from usc that plays on the cardinals as an underperformer QB at a mall and then seen the same card on ebay with the exact pictures and patches but with a different colored background and number sequence. Hell I learned my lesson! I guess I will start collecting USFL cards they are going to be worth more.

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